big time rush Los Angeles Love-story 2
by treehatsrock
Summary: story 2 of 8. the follow up to BIG TIME RUSH CALIFORNIA COLLISIONS, this second installment in to sheridens romantic life with the boys from big time rush goes from bad to worse. as sheriden, james and kendall begin a music adventure that not all of them may survive in one piece. new girl paisley adds a new twist to the story. contains sexual reference and bad language.
1. Chapter 1

SHERIDENS' STORY...

Right now I must be the luckiest girl in the world!

It hadn't always been like this though, the last few years of my life have taken a lot out of me and from me.

But right now, right this instant! life was amazing for me, Sheriden Lloyd.

I was in the arms of my beautiful boyfriend James, he is an amazing person and he loves me for everything I am.

James is in the boyband and the tv show Big Time Rush, we have been together for a whole year today.

I have never been so in love with anyone in my life, I've come close to it twice, but right now right here I realise that all the bad shit that has happened to me has led me to be with James.

He is my life... and I would do pretty much anything for him.

The start of James' and mine relationship was difficult, but only difficult in the eyes of the public. The public only see and hear things they want to, and to convince them otherwise is a waste of an entire and I are very driven people, we want to succeed from life as best we can, and sometimes that means taking risks.

"Sheriden are you happy?" James asked as I was wrapped in his arms in bed, breathing in his amazing scent.

"I dont think I could be happier, why do you ask? do I not please you enough?" was my reply, knowing full well I had just pleased the life out of him...twice.

he laughed. "no, I dont mean that, I mean just doing the model management?"

I sighed and I playfully rubbed his nipple with my finger.

My own modelling career had been cut short after a skiing holiday resulted in me breaking my back, after some soul searching I eventually started my own model management company, which was and still is a complete success but its own success was its down fall for me.

I had become less and less involved as the company got bigger and more staff came in.

by all means its fun being the boss but I missed the nitty gritty of being hands on with a lot of the things that go knew this, James and I would share everything.

"I am happy, but I feel there's definitely more than that out there for me, I dunno what though?" was my honest reply.

"Well I've been thinking..."

I cut james short."Before another word pops out of that delicious mouth, no i'm not gonna marry you James...yet" I said my words sarcastically but they were very true.

James laughed hard. Almost too hard, I pulled on his nipple until it hurt him."Ow... ow...hahaha..no I didnt mean that either. I was thinking of starting a little something up but I cant do it on my own... I was gonna ask Carlos if he wanted in too" James rubbed his nipple better as he spoke.

"Well what is this little something, it cant be that little if you need three people" I kissed the nipple in a hope of some forgiveness and james pulled my entire body on top of his.

he lay beneath me grinning back up with the most amazing smile I have ever seen, it just never gets old. I could stare at that smile all day.

He gave me the look to say he was gonna get me back, but in a very pleasurable way very soon.

"James!" I tapped his chest to snap him out of his saucy stare.

"Whats the little something?"

he took my hands in his and entwind his fingers with mine. "well... I want to start something big... my own record label. but the money I physically couldnt risk on my own, but with more than me its not... such a big risk"

James had talked about owning a record company many times with me, he always made it sound like it was something he would do when all his other projects had finished. he was due to tour with big time rush soon.

I kissed his hands one by one "James I'm not being funny but I have more than enough money to risk, If you wanna do it then do it, I'm serious about us, money isn't an issue" I moved his hands to my breasts.

"I will gladly take your breasts Sheriden" he laughed "But I really wanna do this properly. you know... start it up from my own back, I dont want your hand outs... just a little help. I want your business mind. obviously I can't give it 100% at the moment with the band and everything, and I think you would be the perfect candidate for the job"

"So what are we talking here? just the label and rent recording time from a studio?" James now had my business head reeling.

"The label and a studio" James narrowed his eyes at me as he spoke, trying to gather my judgement on his maybe next adventure in life.

"shit James that is a ton of cash your talking about. on a very big risk... do you know how hard it will be to find, let alone get a decent act signed up without losing a load of money first, I mean a studio alone with mixers and control room and..."

"Sheriden...shhhh" he pulled me down towards him for a small kiss. "its gonna be a lot, I know but having our own studio gives us more freedom and I've already racked up a complete price with an actual place, control room, voice booth, drum booth, mixers...the lot"once again James had delivered the goods, he knows what he wants and its pointless in telling him otherwise.

"what figure?" I asked, defeated.

"1.5 million" he replied, my eyes almost popped out of my head

"Fuck James! are you planning to have your studio built in a palace?"

"no but thats with a fully equipped studio, a place for rehersing, instruments... shit Sheriden, im not talking about a tiny room built on the back of my house, im serious about doing it properly" he turned me back on to the bed beside him.

"maybe it would be better to start small baby, music is the hardest business to crack thats all im saying James, your gonna end up 3 million down before you know it"

"no WE wouldn't end up 3 mil' down coz I was hoping if I had you on board it wouldnt be a flop, we can do this" his optimism astounded me.

james was one of those few people in life that was pretty good at anything he tried, cooking, singing, dancing, acting, boxing ... sex. you name it, james was the master of all he touched.

"so you want 500 thousand each from me and carlos in the hope we dont end up losing a million each 6 months down the line?" my eyes now narrowed as I lay on my stomach looking up at his adonis face.

James looked me in the eye thoughtfully before he responded to my sceptical view."yeh" was the simple response he gave with his American smile, then rolled me on to my back with one gentle swift move of my arms and climbed on top of me.

"okay" I replied with a giggle as our noses touched. clearly arguing with him was pointless as he was going to do it anyway.

"okay?" he questioned with a glint in his eye and kissed me on my lips.

I kissed him back as my agreed response and james worked his way from my lips to my jaw, then my jaw to my neck. I was in heaven... I ran my fingers along his arms, beautiful strong arms that could easily lift kisses trailed along the sides of my chest, sending goose bumps over my body, james' hand held my waist, gently circling his fingers on my bare skin. his kissing reached my stomach, I let out a small moan of pleasure at the anticipation of not knowing where he might go next.

he placed both his arms underneath me and pulled my face back level with his own, he nuzzled his face in my neck, his fingers ran down my thighs.

"I love you" he said just as he ran his tongue down the side of my jaw. then his tongue left my jaw to go lower down my body. feeling james' tongue pleasing me was almost too much to cope with, my vocal chords had a life of there own now, waves of pleasure coming over me. to add to my pleasure james teased me with his fingers, his touch inside me made my insides throb for him.

I really was the luckiest girl in the world right now


	2. Chapter 2

Sheridens Story...

Carlos' house was always a busy house.

Either full of family or full of friends, today was a mixture of both.

All the big time rush boys were round, carlos' father and brother andres, and myself. it was like the scene from some old movie, everyone joking and getting along with not nearly enough seats for people to sit on.

it was my third home in life, from my own of course and james'.

I used to live with carlos's family when I first moved from England at the age of 19, I was 30 now. if it wasnt for carlos' dad i would probably be dead or at least still a cocaine addict wishing to die.

James was on a mission today to get Carlos on board his record label plans, he had in typical james style gone to a lot of trouble putting together on his laptop the expected annual incomes, outcomes and turn overs of his proposed record deal. but unfortunatly for james, Carlos wasnt buying in.

"honestly James it sounds great and all and im sure its gonna take off, but its not where I want my life headed, I got plans of my own" carlos said with a brotherly pat on the shoulder and walked out of the kitchen that james had dragged him into to sell his pitch.

"baby, I'll just front the extra money okay. I know how much you wanna do this..." I said to james

"no sheriden, I wanted it 3 ways. you think I wanna see your smug face when it goes tits up and you lost more than a million that you put in..." james was adement he didnt want my help.

"well what more can I do?" I buried my head in james chest, i felt his defeat.

"I know someone that will want in on that!" came a familiar voice from behind me.

on turning around kendall was there with a dimpled grin on his face.

kendall is one of the 4 of big time rush, he is also my ex boyfriend, a boyfriend that would of been the father of my unborn son, but after kendall had cheated on me whilst filming in Canada, I was involved in a car accident that resulted in me miscarrying the baby. our relationship despite all this and the fact I was now dating one of his best friends was surprisingly good as long as we didnt talk about the baby.

I found it easier to ignore my feelings on that matter. burying my head in the sand worked well for me.

"I dont just want anyone man, I need to trust them" came james' honest reply

"they can be trusted" kendall said with a smirk.

"who is it then?" I enquired.

"me" kendall replied cossing his arms over his torso.

I looked up to james with a smile

"there you go then, kendall will be your partner, problem solved" I said.

james looked from me to kendall and back to me.

"i dunno bro, carlos is like family with me n sheriden, even if it got messed up I know he wouldnt fuck me over you know, not that im saying you would but...well its been hard ay"

although james' words sounded harsh, he spoke the truth.

James and kendall remained very good friends, brothers even. but its not been without a load of pain and the want of making big time rush a complete success.

Kendall swore he had no resentment in his heart for james being with me, and although james knew I would never go back to kendall, the hurt I had recieved from being kendalls girlfriend was more than I could ever take again.

james was just never sure of what kendalls intentions towards me would be in the long term.

"yeah I know... think about it, if you dont find anyone else then keep me in mind... music is my life james I would love a chance to do something like that" kendall left the kitchen after his somewhat truthfull speech.

"he is right you know, he knows exactly what he is doing in a studio, music is a second language to him james" my views on kendalls music capabilities aired there way out.

although james was a very talented musician, he could play pretty much any instrument in the world, it was kendalls speciality that was found in a studio.

"yeah I know he is a wizard...but its kendall...and you and me working together, like some weird threesome" james' odd vision of himself and kendall and I pissed me off.

"fuck it james, what? you dont trust me? after all this time"

"no i trust YOU! but he hasn't even so much as dated another girl since you broke up with him, whats that all about?" james said.

"James for fuck sake, give the guy a break! he cheated on me coz he thought I was banging YOU behind his back, he found out I was pregnant with his baby then found out we had lost it, then found out that you were head over heels in love with me. then did the manly thing of just letting us happen without so much as an arguement... all for the sake of your band. its a lot to deal with"

james looked at me shocked that I had just mentioned the baby... it didnt happen very often, he chose not to pick up on it and stress me out, he just pressed on with the matter at hand,

"yeah i know, we've been through this, I feel bad, we both feel bad" james ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to clear his mind

"cmon, your brothers! we are all family now, so much crazy crap has happened in the last 3 years to all of us. I think we are pretty much bonded for life" my motivational words even convinced myself of a rosy future.

"fuck it, okay... okay, kendall it is" he relented with a kiss on my forehead.

from then on it was all systems go, james had found an amazing property in which to house the studio with as promised an oversized rehersal stage, and all the gadgets you could shake a stick at inside the actual studio.

it was indeed money wisely spent.

Kendall knew what he was talking about when it came to producing the music, it all came together really well.

I took care of the legal side of things, got the ball rolling on the actual record label and soon enough we were ready to find and sign our first band to MSL records... Maslow/Schmidt/Lloyd.

again the finding was kind of left down to me, James and Kendall had been on a tour of the states with big time rush so it was my turn to come up trumps, I went to more gigs than I could really manage. not coming across anything that was signable untill I found a girl group in Detroit. they were good, called KANDY TEAZE, vocals were outstanding, they wrote their own songs, good songs too and definitely there was a gap in the market that could house a girl group like this.

there was of course one major problem with kandy teaze. I phoned james to tell him of my find.

"hey baby, I got good news!" I started off hopeful, knowing it was a lost cause.

"hey Sheri, im excited tell me" james sounded excited too, I thought quickly...

"I tell you what, I'll send you a track... you and Kendall listen to it and then let me know, but these girls are hot james, they have a good look about them"

"send us a picture of them to my email sheri' I love you baby, I knew you could do it" james' voice sounded so honest, i loved him so much just for believing in me.

I sent the track of kandy teaze to James and Kendall, they both loved it, both agreed that vocals were amazing and both wondered why the group hadn't already been signed.

James phoned me back from his tour bus with kendall on loud speaker.

"honestly Sheriden they sound great" kendall voiced over the phone.

"wheres' the picture?" james asked.

"oh right...erm okay, I'm just sending it to your email now"

I held my breath waiting for a swear word to soon come my way.

"okay I got my lap top here, should come though in a sec...'" james sounded excited again.

"...what the...? fucking no way sheriden!" came from James, and Kendall just let out a small chuckle.

"you heard it your self james they are good!" I protested

"sheriden, its KACEY FUCKIN' DELTA! no way am I helping that deranged bitch out"

well there it was... obsenities from James' mouth after discovering who one of the girls of kandy teaze were.

kandy teaze comprised of three girls...girl number one was Amberleigh Scott. 20, a pretty blonde from dallas, texas, who had the voice of an angel and the musical knowledge that would please Kendall.

girl number two was Paisley Petrelli. 19, an amazing singer from Reno, Nevada, with a sexy italian look.

girl number three was Kacey Delta, 21, Kacey had a very powerful voice. from San Francisco, California. she had previously been signed on columbia records along with Big Time Rush. but got dropped after the untimely ending of her relationship with her then boyfriend... james maslow.

James had finished things up with Kacey in a decent manner, unfortunatly Kacey expressed her dismissal from James' arms on twitter with a lot of foul mouthed anger aimed towards him. she found her self in the middle of a hate campaign with over 400.000 big time rush fans and made herself look ridiculous with out James even retaliating one word, but she held a grudge and totally flipped her lid very publicly at an awards ceremony after party, which ended with her assualting James, and being involved with another fight with Carlos' ex girlfriend Tammi.

needless to say no record label wanted to touch her now.

"Sheriden there is no fucking way I am signing that crazy bitch" James made his views clear over the phone to me.

"okay so me and kendall dont get a say in it now? coz I know they are good, I can see they are good, and oooh wasn't this my job that YOU gave me to find the talent. well tadaa james! here it is" My voice oozed venom at the love of my life.

"no I'm not saying you dont get a say in it, I'm just saying...well why the fuck would you even want kacey in the same room as me anyway? she is my ex! most girlfriends would wanna steer clear of that shit" James put his point across fair and square.

"yeah she is your ex... who isnt though james?" I could hear Kendall in hysterics, chuckling away on the phone next to James. "but she wants the best she can get in life. right? and we want the best we can get for this project. right? so where is the law saying that both partys cant make a good go of this and both do well".

"sheriden can i just sa..." I cut kendall off letting his view out.

"kendall let me finish right. you think kacey was pleased to see me tonight, was she fuck! but after talking to her, and she heard all I had to say she is willing to give it a go...she is good james, you know she is, her voice is amazing." I finished my rampage.

"look guys," kendall now took part in the debate. "obviously this isn't great, we finally find something good and its not got the best history attached to it, but we could use that in our favour...I mean the media would go nuts over a story like that. you never know maybe kacey hitting you james was the best thing that she ever did, and if the band have got something then its free advertising all the way in the press"

"see james. kendalls got the right idea" I added.

There was silence for a while over the phone until finally james spoke.

"okay... fucksake!...get them in L.A. to do some demos, and we will go from there... sheriden im not happy about this, im doing it for you okay. I wanted you coz I know your business head is great. I trust your judgement baby"

so the plan was now to get the girls to L.A. with me and hopefully things will work out.

I was nervous doing this on my own. kendall had a friend called max that oversaw all studio production for him and james.

musically I was talentless, couldnt sing a note - much to james' amusement. and I had no clue as such to how a studio should be run. so max was looking after that, where as I looked after the girls.

9 days untill big time rush finished their tour, and I could not wait


	3. Chapter 3

**Paisleys' Story...**

* * *

I honestly could not believe my luck. Sheriden Lloyd finding my band! I mean honestly who would of thought it.

we had just got off the plane from Detroit and now on route to our new studio and new home, at least for now in L.A.

the other girls in my band are great Amberleigh is adorable, we are so alike, and Kacey is like a big sister to me. I couldnt wish to be in this mad situation with anyone else in the world than these two girls.

as a trio we make Kandy Teaze, its I suppose what you would call a dance pop group. Amberleigh was the song writer, she was amazing, and Kacey had the best voice, we all took it in turns to sing though but Kacey was definately put forward to shine.

we arrived at the studio and met with Sheriden Lloyd, she seemed nice. Kacey already knew her. it seemed a bit tense now between them than it did in Detroit. kacey had begun making small comments, some of which im sure sheriden must of heard

"well done girls, its all sounding great" Sheriden said after a week finished in the studio. "get yourselves looking great and I will have a car pick you up from your hotel at 8 and you will finally get to meet James and Kendall for dinner, and we can discuss what the next move will be with you all" she clapped her hands together and walked out of the studio to talk to max the producer guy.

I smiled at my female companions, this was it now! make or break time. the songs we had recorded did really sound great, very catchy hooks.

At our hotel the girls and I decided on what we would wear to the nights dinner we had planned with our new found bosses.  
we were all nervous as we didnt know what any one really thought of us, and Kacey was almost climbing the walls in despair at the thought of being sat at the same dining table as James Maslow...her ex.

blimey she must of done really well to get him. James is stunning, and I couldnt wait to meet him and Kendall Schmidt this evening. another little imaginary tick against my claims to fame.

It was a shame that Kacey kind of had this black cloud hung over her head. she didnt keep it to her self and it wasnt long before we were all feeling the tension.

"I dont know what he see's in that has-been" kacey kept saying

"Kace' honestly..." Amberleigh sighed to try and turn the atmosphere back to excitement.

"no, really she is a total bitch, i mean she was obviously fucking James behind mine and Kendalls back the entire time" she spat.

"well why dont you just ask her. clear the air, coz if your gonna go in to this with all that crap in your head your gonna ruin this whole thing for all three of us" I explained rationally to her.

"no its fine, I am the better person. I will rise above it" she gave a forced smile to reassure amberleigh and I then downed a glass of wine. kacey was lovely but she didnt know her limit when it came to drinkng alcohol

we arrived at the restaurant just before 9pm. we were taken to our table, Sheriden, James and Kendall had not arrived yet. all three of us sat waiting, only making nervous conversation about how nice the restaurant looked. i was panicking Kacey was going to explode. she could not sit still, then i heard her say "FUCK!".

i turned my head in the direction of her curse, in they came. honestly it was like the scene from twilight where the cullens first come in the food hall. perfection after perfection..

james came in first, his hair shorter than i had seen in the recent pictures of him, he wore his trade mark blue suit and matching tie, his accessory he had attached to his hand very firmly was of course sheriden, she looked beautiful, a full length red dress, her long brown hair down. the dress showed off how tiny her waist was. she was an oil painting on very long legs. together they made very much the American power couple.

i would of said that Sheriden had probably gone out of her way to make sure Kacey could not look more beautiful than her this evening. Kacey was very pretty but she was nothing compared to Sheriden Lloyd.

then lagging behind was Kendall. he was dressed formal but he gave it a casual look, from what I knew of Kendall Schmidt he was a nice guy. and from what i read in the papers, Sheriden and James had completly screwed him over.

once at the table Sheriden introduced everyone to each other. Kacey didnt say anything to James or Sheriden. oh boy this was going to be a long night.

the wine flowed, not that i was old enough to drink any. the evening got off to a promising start, the five of us chatted away getting to know each other. talking about our home towns, and how we got in to music but Kacey would not join in. she had downed a couple of glasses of wine before we left the hotel, let alone the three she had sat here stewing away. i had a bad feeling about Kacey tonight.

i was sat next to Kendall. he was charming, cute little dimples on his face, delicious eyes and a nice manly frame on his shoulders, i though to myself that having him and James as my bosses surely wasnt a bad thing.

Kendall wanted to know every detail about me, he laughed at my jokes, even the ones that didnt make any sense. he made me feel very welcome at that table. I enjoyed feeling like that.  
Amberleigh was talking to Sheriden about the week in the studio. Amberleigh knew a lot about music, where as i just knew how to sing, i think Sheriden was learning a lot from Amberleigh because from what i had seen in the studio with her, she didnt know much more than I did.

James was nodding along to the conversation between Sheriden and Amberleigh, he was sandwiched betwen the two of them. he looked tense.

as i glanced at Kacey, i knew she was about to blow a gasket, i couldnt have her blow my opportunity to make it big. this was my life. i wasnt prepared to let her ruin it because she got dumped by a boy almost two years ago.

"James...!" she finally slurred out

thinking quickly i did the first thing i could do to create a distraction and knocked my soda over, it went everywhere, all over my lap, and across most of the tableware.  
i stood up patting everything down with a napkin that had escaped the carnage.

"oh god, im so so sorry" i shreiked out to the others.

"if you excuse us for a minute" sheriden announced, as she also stood up and took james over to the entrance of the restaurant. sheriden was having some words in his ear.

amberleigh just sat there with a friendly smile on her face, watching me mop up soda before it spread any further over the table.

"get her out of here!" i said to amberleigh through gritted teeth, looking at kacey.

"what?... how?" was amberleighs flustered response

just then sheriden came back, making an excuse that james was called away.

"kacey honey, do you mind if we chat? i can drop you off to the hotel after" came sheridens plee to kacey. sheriden must be trying to avoid a scene as much as i am to make this band work out.

"sure whatever" came kaceys well thought out reply.

kacey was so drunk, sheriden took her by the arm, whispered something in kendalls ear then walked out as gracefully as she could with kacey.

kendall raised his eyebrows to amberleigh and i.  
i felt sorry for him, he had obviously pinned a lot of hopes on me and the girls and it looked very much in tatters at the moment.

"how about we get out of here and go to a club girls?" kendall was relaying what sheriden had whispered in his ear.

"sure im so up for that!" amberleigh giggled out, she had a terrible laugh.

i looked down at my dress, i wasnt going anywhere soon

"you two go ahead i can catch you up after im changed" my own plan to avoid kacey flipping out had now back fired on me.

kendall looked at me.

"i'll tell you what, il drop amberleigh off to the club , james will be there so she wont be on her own and i will take you back paisley to get changed. it will be quicker that way" kendall had thought this through to work out in my favour so i wasnt going to argue.

we gathered our belongings and left the restaurant for kendalls car.

it was nice, i couldnt see what it was, maybe an audi or something executive like that. amberleigh called shot gun. so i ended up in the back. i wondered how james had left the restaurant if sheriden still had the car, or maybe all three of them came seperatly just incase a kacey dilemma did crop up and this was sheridens back up plan.

we dropped amberleigh off outside some swanky night club, james met her out side. he took her hand as they walked away. lucky bitch i thought to my self.  
i stayed in the back as kendall drove the rest of the way to my hotel. i was glad of this as i didnt feel the need to have to think of things to say to him.

the car came to a stop and i got out.

"did you want to come in or wait here?" i asked kendall through the driverside window.

"hmmm, il come in then" kendall replied

shit! i wasn't banking on him saying that. i was just being polite. my mind wondered off to what state we had left our hotel room in...

the lift journey up to the 5th floor was a quiet one, kendall had this odd smug smirk slapped on his handsome face. i couldnt work him out anymore.

the room was a bit of a mess, kacey had left her wine bottle out and clothes scattered the floor, along with bath robes, and make up adorned any flat surface going.

i quickly found a nice dress to wear and went in to the bath room to change. i left kendall sat in a chair in the main room.

after a few minutes i returned in my newly un soda drenched outfit, and declared my self ready to go.

kendall looked me over. he was copping a good eyefull of me now and not even trying to hide it.

"your very pretty you know?" he said as he stood up out of the chair.

i stood there shocked, thinking what the fuck is going on?

kendall walked over to me and took my long black hair in his hands

"beautiful actually" he continued

"ken...kendall maybe we should get goi..." his lips were on mine before i could finish my sentance. i was shocked but i was enjoying it. kissing kendall schmidt in my hotel room was pretty much a novelty tick on my claims to fame.

his hands planted them selves on my waist, i was locked in now, but i wouldnt of moved away even if i wasnt.

"i like you paisley" he finally said breaking away from me.

i laughed, "i like you too...i mean your kendall... from big time rush..." when in my head i was screaming he is your BOSS, BOSS, BOSS, BOSS!

"are you okay with me kissing you paisley?" i loved the way he kept saying my name. he was very in control of the situation, what was i meant to say? was he using me?... shit i didnt care...its kendall fucking schmidt!

"im definetly okay with it" i replied as i locked him back on to my hips and kissed him, i slipped my tongue in this time, his joined mine just as quickly.

we ended up on amberleighs bed. she was gonna kill me when she found out about this...

kendall was all over me like some erotic rash, he was kissing every part of my body that wasn't hidden by my small dress.

his hands briefly left me for him to undo his own clothes and get his bottom half free to ravish me. once his essentials were out, his hands were firmly back on my body, he tugged at my dress pulling it up and then freeing me of my underwear he layed me down flat on the bed and opened my legs.  
he kissed all along my thighs, and caressed his fingers over my privates.  
he was enjoying himself. he liked pleasing me, he liked hearing my moans of pleasure as his tongue took over from his fingers.

he was teasing me, his mouth left my intimate area and he worked his way up my body, scattering me with little kisses.

the noises that left my mouth i had never heard before, i saw the meaning of big time rush in a whole new light as i felt kendall inside me. his pace was quick, and hard. i wanted it so bad.  
it all felt so good.  
my hands ran through kendalls hair, tugging at the ends as the feeling of our intamacy hit new heights.  
it was all very rough and ready. i had never had sex like this sex scared me but i liked this. kendall knew his way round my body like others never did, he kissed my neck, and i heard moans of climax escape him, this was closely followed by my own noises of gratitude towards kendal schmidt.

kendall was still laying in between my thighs when the door sprang open and sheriden lloyd stood there with her mouth wide open in shock with a very drunk looking kacey delta next to her.

i noticed then that kendalls smug grin had appeared back on his face as he saw the look on sheridens.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sheridens Story...  
**

* * *

god! i knew this was gonna be a mistake. James was right, kacey is gonna ruin this and make me look a complete and utter idiot.

look at her! she is pissed already and we have only been here for half hour.

i nudged james and he gave me the look to say, i know, i know!

so here we are, at the first official meeting of the six of us. a fancy restaurant i decided was the best place to hold this, the more public i figured the better.  
hopefully kacey could contain her rage. in detroit she seemed to want the fame and success more, but here in L.A. she seemed to just want to ruin me. snide little comments, that i had just so far brushed off.

i wasnt going to let james win this one. i found these girls and i was gonna make things work. i was sure of that.

amberleigh was chatting to james and i about some of the songs maybe needing some triple tracking, james seemed to know what she was talking about as he nodded but i didnt really understand what all the musical lingo meant.

i could see kacey on yet another glass of wine and then it happened.

"james!" i heard slush out of her drunken mouth.

great here we go i thought.  
just as kacey opened her trap paisley had spilt her drink all over her self and put kacey off track of her drunken slurs. i will not have this demented bitch embarrass james again like she did at the KVA's

i dragged james away to a quiet spot in the restaurant, as paisley patted down her dress

"sheriden i cant do this, she is gonna hit the roof any second..." james said, he was pissed off

"baby i know, listen to me... maybe if we just sort this out with the three of us then she can move on" i pleaded to james knowing the reply i would get before it left his sexy pouting mouth.

"no! no fucking way, you said she was cool with this, i will not talk to that crazy bitch about anything other than her music career. if she wants to mess it up a second time then good for her, but she will not drag me down with her this time" james' words were final.

"okay, can I at least try and talk her round?" i folded my arms.

"you can do what you want with her, just watch out for her left hook!" he gave me a wry smile

i rolled my eyes at the memory of kaceys slap she gave james all that time ago.

"fine! i will sort her out, i'll get kendall and the other two to meet you at the club. okay?"

"yeah thats fine sheriden... you have a sexy look in your eye when you try so hard to prove me wrong you know...". james' conclusion to most problems was sexual innuendo.

i smiled and kissed him "your filth maslow you know that dont you!" i kissed him goodbye after he handed me his car keys and walked back over to the table.

kacey agreed to come with me to have a chat. that was easy enough.

"get those two in the club, and make them have a good time okay. james will meet you there" i whispered in kendalls ear. then i tried my best to help kacey to james' car with out her making me fall over.

james had rented this insane car, it was a maserati. it looked sporty and delicious but it scared the hell out of me to drive.

james had unfortunatly drawn the short straw of getting a cab to the club. bloody kacey, forcing me to drive this thing.

i drove the short distance back to my home in central L.A. and sat kacey down for what should make for an interesting chat.

she had a face like a slapped arse on her.

"kacey, i know your hurting over james still, but its really time you thought about yourself and not being so hooked on trying to hurt him back" i spoke gently and slowly to kacey.

"im not trying to hurt him" she swayed her response to me.

"then why the outburst? if paisley hadnt spilt her drink then you would of made a scene back there wouldnt you?" i was feeling a bit miffed at her now.

kacey laughed."sheriden. we used to be friends, we used to hang out. i know your...an okay person. i wasnt going to make a scene... i was going to say sorry".

i let out a small laugh myself. "sorry? dont take this the wrong way but i dont quite believe you, and i wouldnt exactly of called us friends...".

" believe what you want! ive had just over a week to get my head around this, in detroit you spoke your words of wisdom at me, and said we can work it out and can make something big from all this. in L.A. i must admit i got a bit hung up from being in your comapany all the time, wondering what he possibly sees in you". kacey vented her views at me.

"what?, so you now have anger issues at me?" i retorted.

"no, you see sheriden, tonight i realised you and james are well suited, he is a self rightious know it all, and most likely some closet gay that will come out in a few years, whilst you are this has-been model that needs to stick her fingers in every pie to try and make yourself look important... i pity you both, and so glad im not a part of james and his tirade to take over the universe" she finished up folding her arms over her chest.

"well kacey... you definatly have been busy choosing your words this evening. but the fact remains that its james' 'tirade' on the universe that wants to make your singing career a success".

"yes... sheriden, i realise that...which is why i was going to apologise to him for my past behaviour"

i rolled my eyes at her.

kacey continued. " i can look past our differences and get on with this band... if you and james can do the same. like i said we used to be friends".

"kacey the only issue that i have with you right now is that im fully aware that your drinking habits get you in to trouble. what happened with you and james had nothing to do with me at the time".

"really coz i think you were sleeping with him behind mine and kendalls back" kacey had her arse face slapped on her again.

"jesus not this crap again... kacey the entire time you were with james, all he was to me was a good friend. im not prepared to drag up my past with kendall to prove to you that i did fuck all with your ex boyfriend"

i let out a pissed off sigh before continuing

"do you want our help with kandy teaze or not? coz no other fucker is gonna touch you, you know that right?"

"yeah i know. i will take your word for it that you didnt then okay." kacey relaxed back in my couch.

"honestly though kacey, you need to kick back from all the drinking. i wont sit back and watch my own money get pissed down the toilet by you causing a scene on every night out and creating the wrong kind of publicity for yourself!"

"okay, so you gonna take me back to my hotel now this is cleared up?" she sat forwards as her que to leave my home.

"sure, maybe tomorrow we can try and make a fresh start yeah?" i opted to end the conversation on a high note.

kacey smiled back at me as if to call it a truce.

"cmon lets get you back before your sick in that god damn car" i helped her out of my couch and we left for the hotel.


	5. Chapter 5

at the hotel i decided it best to help kacey to her room, she almost split her head open by banging in to the side of the elevator i tried to pop her in to.

once up on the 5th floor she did manage to fall arse over face in the corridoor, the contents of her purse spilt all over the place. kacey just sat with her legs sprawled on the floor laughing her head off at her own stupidity.

"kacey. jesus! get up!" i moaned at her as i picked up her belongings and put them back in her purse. i kept the key card in my hand to open her room door.

sooner she gets in, sooner i get to to meet up with james and kendall, and the remaining kandy teaze girls to talk ideas in whats happening with them next.

kacey had totally messed this evening up.

"kacey i am not risking my back by trying to lift your drunken ass up. now move!"

"gee whiz sheriden... its not my fault your a wannabe cripple. how does james cope with all your moaning...when i was with him we..."

"When you were with james he used to tell me how much you two argued and how much he had, had enough of your bitching" i stood looking over her with my hand out stretched to help her up.

"yeah well. thats jus' coz' he used me to get where he wanted to be" she reached out for my hand and pulled her self up.

"kacey! you are a nobody, and when you met james you were again a nobody. im trying to help you become someone, so i suggest you shut the fuck up and help me to help you".

i handed her the purse and took her by the arm to escape another fall. what the hell did james ever ever see in this girl i will never understand.

finally we reached her room, i slid the key card in and the door click open, i gave the door a slight kick to get me and kacey in. the door swung open.

first i saw paisley petrellis' embarrassed face gawping up at me, her dress was riled up just below her chest.

then the person who was on top of her turned around to face me and my heart sank.

kendall lay there inbetween paisleys legs with his bare ass out.

his face was smiling at me, it wasnt an oh fuck we just got caught shagging smile, it was... well evil, it was a look at me sheriden, look at me get stuck in to this and im loving it smile.

why did he look like that, and why was he having sex with paisley. they had only known each other 5 minutes. kendall didnt sleep around, not that i knew of anyway that was logans habit. kendall hadnt so much as looked at another girl for so long now.

as kendall saw the look of shock on my face his smug grin just got worse.

kacey was in hysterics laughing again, as she realised who was on top of who.

i didnt know what to do or say.

i left kaceys arm and ran back to the elevator.

once the doors had closed i stood against the mirrored wall. my head was swirling with thoughts.

was kendall just getting lucky or did he plan that. he knew i was taking kacey back to her hotel. he heard me say it in the restaurant to her.

was he trying to ruin james record label...there record label. surely he wouldn't waste all that money just to try and hurt us.

i walked out in to the hotel parking lot, and got back in james' car. i sat at the wheel trying to clear my head.

no this is ridiculous, Kendall and paisley obviously hit it off and got carried away and then me walking in was just bad timing. Kendall wouldn't do anything to hurt me or james. would he?

as i started the engine i saw Kendall and paisley walk through the parking lot. paisley had a stern look on her face and Kendall didn't look much happier. they weren't holding hands, Kendall walked a good few paces in front.  
they didn't look very happy at all.

what was going on? i drove out before they saw me, i didn't want Kendalls eyes in my head again this evening, and no way im going to the club.

once i was back in my house i phoned james. he deserves to know that Kendall may have just fucked up our chances of signing a decent group.  
if paisley pulls out of signing her contract because Kendall loved and left her its gonna put us straight back at square on.

the cell rang in my ear waiting for james to pick up.

"hey baby. hang on a sec"

i barely heard james' voice over the loud music.

"thats better. can you hear me okay now?"

"yeah thats better. james i got some news. its not great really"

"hey buddy".  
"sorry baby kendall just got here. what news do you have?"

"oh have they just turned up? are they with you now?" shit!

"yeah we are all here waiting for you now. where are you? you okay? whats the news? did kacey hurt you?"

"no... james im fine, ... i just dropped kacey back and she fell over... she er... just pulled me about a bit and my backs hurting thats all, im just gonna go to bed and sleep it off."

"oh babe! really? well are you at mine?"

"no im at home james, i just want my own bed tonight. i love you millions though yeh"

"okay well i'll see you tomorrow morning then sheriden okay. you take it easy baby. love you millions too sheri"

"night baby"

"night"

the line went dead.

great how was i meant to tell james when kendall was in the same room. james is gonna be pissed off when he finds out kendall has taken advantage of his situation like this. maybe i should just keep my mouth shut.

i crawled in to bed with memories of mine and kendalls very brief relationship. he has changed so much from those days.

i drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

PAISLEYS STORY

Oh my goodness I want the ground to swallow me up now.

sheriden just turned and ran

"don't mind me guys" kacey stumbled her way in to the bathroom giggling away, then I heard her throw up in to the toilet.

Kendall got up and got his bottom half-dressed again after our hasty sex session. and I quickly pulled my dress down to cover my modesty... not that I had any left.

"so you wanna go meet your friend?" Kendall asked me, but looked at the floor.

"um... yeah. sounds good. I don't want to be stuck here listening to that all night" I pointed to the bathroom and smiled, trying to make light of a tense situation.

Kendall didn't respond.

"I'll just... um... sort myself out" I knocked on the bathroom door, kacey had finished chucking her guts up enough to let me freshen up. I shut the door behind me but could hear her talking to Kendall in the main room.

"so is this how you and james will welcome us all in to the club" she slurred out

"shut up" came Kendalls reply

"ahh cmon. we both got screwed over by james and Sheriden"

"kacey your drunk. i suggest you shut up before you end up back in detroit or where ever Sheriden found you"

I heard the room door open and close. I guess Kendall must have stepped out.

i walked back out to where kacey now lay on her bed fully clothed.

"kacey what the fuck happened with you tonight?" kacey started laughing.

"i could say the same to you pais'" i left her to it and walked out the door. Kendall was waiting for me in the corridor. we walked to the elevator in silence.

the lift doors shut and we began our decent to the lobby.

"Kendall are you... " he cut me off

"not now paisley"

I stayed silent, once out of the elevator he strode a few paces in front all the way to his car. his face looked liked thunder.

had i done something wrong. he seemed to want me up there, so whats happened now? had his fun and now bored with me?

we got in to the car and he started the engine and drove off.

what was this guys problem. he had given it all the paisley your beautiful, paisley do you mind me kissing you.

was it all a trick? and what the fuck was that grin all about when Sheriden and kacey burst in at the wrong moment.

L.A. certainly wasn't what I thought it would be.

Kendall had driven in silence for a couple of miles, no music on or anything inside the car then he pulled over to the side of the road.

fear struck me that instant. shit what is this freak gonna do to me now.

i looked out the window Kendall had driven in to a lay by on the side of a quiet road. i lifted my hand ready to grab the door handle and run.

"paisley do you do this kind of thing a lot?" Kendall broke the silence.

"huh? what kind of thing" i replied

"do you have random sex with people you hardly know" he clarified his question

" um... no not really. i mean, to be honest i have a boyfr..."

"so why did you with me tonight?" he cut my reply off with another accusing question.

"well... im not sure. I mean your Kendall Schmidt from big time rush. not many girls would not take you up on that offer"

"is it just because of who I am, or did you actually like me?" Kendall now turned to look me in the eye. I took my hand off the door lever.  
obviously Kendall has some issues.

" Kendall, you're a nice guy. I hardly know anything about you though, but given the chance then I would have preferred to get to know you before... well you know".

"ok im sorry, you know for everything. it was a mistake"  
wow im a mistake to him now. that's great.

"yeah well that makes two of us" i replied sarcastically.

he started the car again

"no! you know what. I have no clue to who I am any more". Kendall turned his engine off again as he spoke to himself.

he carried on talking.

"I thought that this would make things better in my head but nope, nothing is that fucking simple is it!"

okay! I got the feeling this wasnt about the two of us having sex anymore.

"Kendall. I don't really understand whats going on?"

"her. she fucks with my head all the time"

"who? kacey?" I asked

he laughed bitterly

"sheriden" came his dry emotionless response.

"oh... are you two still a thing?"

he laughed again.

"no. I wish. I screwed it all up, we both screwed it all up". he squeezed the steering wheel

he had the look in his eye that i had seen countless times before from my boyfriend when i found out he had cheated on me. only difference was kendalls sorrow in his face looked real.

"can I ask you a question Kendall?"

he looked at me again.

"sure"

"do _you_ do this a lot... sleep around, taking advantage of who you are?" I tried to sound as less accusing as I could.

"no. your the first person ive had sex with in a long while" his reply was honest.

"so you planned it out that sheriden might just happen to catch us doing it and you thought that would make you feel better?"

"something like that" came his distanced response.

"do you still love sheriden, kendall?" i felt in control of this situation now and liked using his name, just as he had felt in control of seducing me earlier.

"no I don't love her. I don't think I do, she just has this hold on me... look tonight has been a total mess. im really sorry"

"kendall its alright to talk about stuff you know. even if it hurts. give me you phone!"

"what? why do you want my phone?"

"just give it to me" kendall got his iphone from his pocket and handed it to me.

I punched my number in to his contacts.

"look. there you go, you have my number now. im ready when you are when you want to talk, because I definitely think you got to talk to someone. you're gonna get your self in to trouble one day doing shit like this... im on the pill by the way. you never bothered to ask"

"hm, story of my life" came a mumbled reply from him.

"what?" I was confused

"paisley how old are you?"

"19"

"you have the mind of someone much older you know?" he smiled as he talked.

he started the car yet again and this time drove away to the short distance of the nightclub.

after parking the car up the atmosphere Kendall had created seemed slightly less tense. we saw james just inside the door, he was chatting on his phone. Kendall stopped for a minute waiting to chat to him. Kendall made awkward eye contact as we listened in to the one ended conversation james was having on his phone.

"_thats better. can you hear me okay now_?"

"hey buddy".  
"_sorry baby kendall just got here. what news do you have_?"

"_yeah we are all here waiting for you now. where are you? you okay? whats the news? did kacey hurt you_?"

"_oh babe! really? well are you at mine_?"

"_okay well I'll see you tomorrow morning then sheriden okay. you take it easy baby. love you millions too Sheri_"

"_night_"

well at least I wouldn't have to show my shamed face to sheriden again tonight, it didn't sound like she was coming out.

"hey man, sorry about that, sheridens back is playing her up again so she is gonna skip tonight. paisley. amberleigh is just through there she is with Logan Henderson. she can introduce you"

oh okay obviously james wanted to talk to Kendall alone.

"actually james, im not feeling that great either, if Logan and you are okay to get the girl's home im gonna shoot off home" i heard kendall say just before i was ushered away inside.

great not even a good bye then kendall. thanks a bunch.

i walked over to amberleigh determined to make this in to a better evening than it had been so far.


	7. Chapter 7

SHERIDENS STORY

i had only been asleep for a short time since i got home from my disturbing sight of kendall and paisley but i woke up to the sound of my door chime ring.  
hopefully its james making a surprise overnight stay. i usually stay at his house for the sake of the dogs he has. but i would welcome a midnite snuggle with my handsome boyfriend right now. he always knows whats to say... and do, to bring me out from under a dark cloud.

i wrapped my self in my dressing robe and descended my winding stair case to the front door. the silhouette didnt look like james.

"who is it?" i called through the large frosted glass panal.

"sheriden its kendall, i need to talk to you"

i opened up the door just enough to poke my head out.

"can i come in" he asked.

"no. you can talk here" i replied matter of factly

"ok... look... well i dont really know where to start..." he stumbled through his sentance

"how about you start with why you fucked paisley petrelli. when i said to give the girls a good time, i meant fun and dancing. not slipping your cock inside one of them!"

"that was a mistake it was..." he tried to argue his case.

"you bet it was a mistake. are you trying to ruin this project before it even gets started. do you have any idea how much time james has put in to it?"

"fucks sake there you go on about james again. cant we have a discussion ever that doesn't involve amazing james!" kendalls voice grew steadily louder.

"oh i see! its kendall has lost the plot time again is it? its been well over a year that we broke up, why are you doing this now?" my voice also grew louder

"look can i just come in?" he placed his hand on the door.

"no you can stay here where the cctv can see you" i glanced up to the camera on the side of my property, so did he.

"you think im going to hurt you?" he laughed.

"no. i think your going to try and cause me and james problems. thats why you looked so god damn happy looking at me in between paisleys legs... honestly kendall what was going on in your head?"

"yeah well that was a mistake" he confessed

"so what? you thought me seeing you fuck someone will make me feel something for you, or you just wanted to hurt me... its one of the two kendall. least have the decency to let me know"

kendall took his hand off the door  
"to hurt you" he almost whispered.

"well it wasnt great to see my ex boyfriend fucking some one else, so i hope your happy" i tried to shut the door, but again kendalls hand rose up to hold it open.

"im sorry. my head is messed up sheriden... im sorry"

"from now on i dont want you in ten feet of paisley petrelli. i will not have you ruin this for james"

"what? how the fuck is that going to work with me helping her make an album?" kendall argued

"thats something you should of thought about before you abused your position" i retorted

"look this isnt what i came to talk to you about sheriden. i need to talk about us and the..." i cut kendall off again.

"there is no us! and you have got 10 seconds to get out of here before i phone james and tell him your here, coz im pretty damn sure he doesn't know about this?"

"please sheriden!" his voice was desperate

"no! ten, nine, eight.."

"im outta here" he mumbled.

kendall walked back to his car. he had the ordasity to phone someone and chit chat before driving off, i shut and locked the door on the bolt.

what if he was phoning james, and going to cause trouble that way?

my heart was pounding. why is he dragging all this up now. he swore he was fine with everything. it was even him that had visited james and said he is okay with him seeing me.

i walked over to my telephone and dialled james' number.

it rang

"hi sheriden, i thought you be sleeping by now?" james answered.

hmmm, obviously kendall hadnt rung james then

"yeah i was but... james i really need you tonight, can you come round? i cant wait til tomorrow to see you baby"

"yeah course i can. tonight was a total wash out, kendall left as soon as he arrived, so its just me and logan with the girls.

"how come logan showed up?"

"he was already here with shawn"

"oh right. i see"

"i will be round soon as i can okay sheri"

"james..." i hesitated

"ya"

"i love you so much, you know that yeah" i tried to make my voice sound casual.

"course i do. your my world sheriden lloyd"

i smiled.

"get your sexy ass back here soon okay" i twisted the telephone cord in my fingers.

"love you sheri', see you in a bit"

"bye babe"

"bye"

a wave of relief washed over me. soon my gorgeous james would be here in my arms. i was still unclear on wether to tell him about all the antics that had happened over the course of this evening.

keeping things from james was a new thing for me, and i didnt like it. i told him everything, every part of my life he knew about, he never judged and he never critisised on any of it, only ever offered a shoulder to cry on or advise me as best he could.

from the first time i ever spoke to james we connected. he is my other half, and im only ever going to be complete with him in my life.

im not stupid enough to risk that by keeping things from him.

he said im his life. i know he is mine.

i made a hot drink in the kitchen when i heard the sound of moving gravel out side my home, car doors open and close and the bark of a dog.

the door chime rang. and i opened the door to my beautiful american smile.

"how come my key didnt work?" was the first question i got from james.

"it does work, i had dead bolted the door thats all, i forgot to take it off"

fox and falco the dogs came running in. james took them in to my utility room. they didnt get treated like babies in my house. they got treated like pets, which meant they had a dog bed and a blanket in my wash room next to the washing machine.

i walked back in to the kitchen to finish my drink, james followed me in and sat at my dark wood table.

"so what did kacey have to say then?" james enquired.

" oh my god, that girl was so drunk, she is a total liability. she said she was going to say sorry to you, but basically she hates you because you want to rule the world and she dislikes me for being your side kick"

"hmmm not all bad then" he laughed.

"no, nothing i cant control... something else did happen this evening though."

"ya whats that?"

"oh... i'll tell you later. i just want my james fix right now" i sat down next to him, but he pulled his chair out and sat me on his lap.  
i wrapped my arms around his neck. he smelled amazing still, even after being in a hot club.

i gave him a small kiss on the lips.

"i love you maslow" i whispered.

he smiled and kissed me back, but longer, more seductively than i had.

"hows your back now?" he questioned

"long story baby, i'll tell you later"  
i moved my hands from around his neck to his waist line and slipped them up his shirt to feel the warmth of his torso.

"oh i see its like that tonite is it?" he smiled back at me

"it might be" i grinned back and gave him another small kiss.

with that james lifted me up and sat me on the edge of my dark wood table. he stood up and undid his trousers.  
i played with him in my hands. he was already very hard.

he kissed the side of my face, and ran his hands across the out side of my thighs, before pulling at the belt on my dressing robe and removing it all together.

he tugged at my night shirt to access himself in me. one hand tipped my chin upwards so he could kiss me fully on the lips and the other hand freed me from my hold i had on his erection. he then pulled me in closer towards him. i cold feel him go inside me.

his rhythm was slow and careful. i unbuttoned his shirt and kissed james on the chest as he rocked his body against mine.

the pleasure was full on, i leaned back on the table to steady my self. he carressed his tongue against my neck and showered tiny kisses as he went further up to meet my lips.

feeling him so hard inside me took my breath away. sounds of pleasure escaped my mouth. james pulled my body in towards him even closer. holding me so tight against his movement.

james then moved one of his hands to gently stroke my breasts. the feeling of him all over my body sent waves of pleasure through me that i couldnt control. my orgasm ebbed away at me. pleasure taking control of every nerve of my body. i felt him harden even further in me and then heard james' noise of climax escape from his mouth.

we showered together and went to bed. james fell to sleep pretty quick i however had a mind full of problems. how was i going to tell james about kendall and paisley?  
i wondered what paisley thought was happening? was she the kind of girl that just slept about. as far as i was aware she said she had a boyfriend back home in reno.

i finally drifted off in to sleep but a pair of electric green eyes appeared from no where in my head and jolted me back to conciousness.

"james...james... wake up" i gently nudged james awake.

"whassup sheri?" james voice sounded gruff and un broken. i liked it

"i need to talk to you" i nudged him again before his eyes could shut.

james wiped a hand over his face, and swept his brown hair out of his eyes. he sat up slightly and looked at me as i sat crossed legged on top of the bed next to him.

"whats up babe... your back bad?" his voice still hoarse

"no its fine... i lied about my back im sorry, its perfectly fine"

james now sat up further and turned his bedside light on, he rubbed his eyes to wake himself up properly.

"whats going on?" he finally said "what did kacey say to you tonight, i swear im gonna kill tha..."

"no baby its not kacey. its not her...its... well ...its kendall"

again james ran his hand over his face but he didnt say anything. he waited for me to talk.

"when i took kacey back to her hotel room, we kind of walked in on paisley and kendall doing it..."

"what? whats that all about?" james frowned his eyebrows trying to work out what i was trying to get at.

"well listen... basically he knew i was coming up there and he seduced paisley so that i would see them...doing it. and he had this...this... disgusting smirk on his face. i ran out and came home, then kendall showed up here wanting to talk and..."

"woah hang on. you mean tonite kendall came here?"

"yeah he must of dumped paisley on you and come over here. i didnt let him in but he just seemed really fucked up you know. i dont know whats going on in his head. i mean what was he thinking sleeping with paisley anyway... he is gonna end up screwing up all the work we have done for this record label.."

" right sheriden hang on a sec'. your rambling now. you caught kendall having sex with paisley petrelli because he knew you would walk in on him?"

"well yeah, i mean he didnt know i was gonna go up there but he obviously took the risk and it worked." i agreed.

"then kendall told me he was ill and going home but instead he came here?" james had a look on his face that i had only seen once. when he was getting dragged about by an insane kacey delta at the KVA awards and he just stared at me in disbelief. wishing it away.  
the last time i saw that look, it scared the hell out of me, and it scared the hell out of me still.

"so what happened when he was here?"

"nothing happened... he said he wanted to talk but i moaned at him about jeperdising our signing by sleeping with paisley. he said he wanted to talk about me and him. i said there is nothing to talk about and threatened to call you. then he left".

james stayed silent for several minutes.

"james you know i would never... you know... i would never risk losing you. i love you so much. i never would."

"sheriden i trust you. i know you wouldnt baby..."  
"thats why you locked the door on the dead bolt?" his head was ticking away.

"did he try and hurt you?" his voice a whisper.

"no he wanted to come in but i said no. he tried to push the door open but then i said i was going to call you and he left"

"so what did he want to talk about with you then?"

"i dont know james. and i dont want to know. as far as im concerned its over, it was over the minute he cheated on me"

silence fell on us again.

"so when you walked in and saw them together. what did that feel like?" james asked

"well it was shit, of course it was. im not gona lie. it was more his face than anything. it was full of hate. but its always hard to see any ex with someone new. i guess maybe we rub it in kendalls face a bit."

"what are you gonna do james?"

"nothing" he replied

"what?" i said kind of shocked.

"well its easier if i dont do anything, you've told me, and thats all i need to know. maybe you should talk to him. he hasn't been kendall for a while."

"what do you mean? he was the one that said it was fine for us to go for it"

"sheriden i was there when he cheated on you, i was the one that held you untill you couldnt cry anymore, i was the one that you begged to take the pain from your broken heart away. that was me, i listened to it all, i will never forget one word. hearing the heartache from the girl i loved is something i never will forget. and here you are now, at 3am telling me kendall slept with a girl to hurt you and then came round to talk to you and you dont even want to hear what he has to say"

"i dont understand why you want me to" i whispered

"you both had a very... whats the word... intense relationship. you both fell for each other so quick and then the baby and the crash and kendall fucked it all up in vancouver. but what if he hadnt? surely there is a part of you in there that wants to know what he has to say?"

"your sounding like you wish kendall and i never split up" i said full of emotion

"no im not, im sounding like your boyfriend and kendalls friend"

"i dont want to talk to him about it." i declared

"it?" james enquired.

"yeah it!, us, what we had. it was the icing on the cake to a shit couple of years, and i had to drag myself out of despair yet again. i dont want to get sucked down again, i cant james..."  
i started crying.

"come here" james held me in his arms

"sheriden, you once loved him...a lot. now i dont really know what went on, but obviously kendall does and there is nothing i can talk to him about that is gonna help him"

"i cant help him either james"  
i paused before continuing with things i had not spoken for a long time  
"the baby would be 11 months old now you know?"

"yeah i know. not a day goes by i dont think about that crash and what may have been" james sighed out

"really?" i asked

"course, i think about it all the time, i go to bed thinking about it when im on my own" james rubbed his face again

"do you think if he was born we would still be together?" i whispered to james

me and you? i would like to think so. but maybe kendall would have put up more of a fight for you if thats how it was" james wiped my tears away with his hand and kissed me on the head.

"look get some sleep and we will sort it out in the morning okay. i love you sheriden, nothing will ever change that. i'm never ever going to hurt you. so what ever kendall may or may not say to you. it cant hurt us okay"

"thanks james. i love you so much"

i snuggled in his arms and stayed there till i fell in to a deep sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

PAISLEYS STORY

amberleigh seemed in high spirits she introduced me to logan in the club. i was still miffed that kendall had just upped and left without even so much as a goodbye

"paisley petrelli, this is logan henderson". amberleigh gushed

"hi" was all i could manage but logan bent in with a kiss on the cheek.

"hi paisley, ive heard a lot about you, amberleigh likes to ... chat " he laughed

i looked at amberleigh again and realised she was almost as drunk as kacey, but in good spirits.

"can i get you a drink" james asked, he had just come in from seeing kendall off home.

"um yeah just a soda thanks"

"so paisley where you from? logan asked while james left for the bar.

"reno"

"reno? bit of a drive down then?"

"well i was in detroit with kandy teaze, much to the moans of my boyfriend" i rolled my eyes at remembering ryan go on at me about it being a waste of time

"ah im sure he will enjoy having a famous girlfriend when it all kicks off?"

"yeh maybe. i think he just likes to be in control of me... sorry im going on a bit huh" i felt my face redden.

logan laughed

"no your fine. in LA everything is a drama"

i laughed this time

"your telling me" i replied

logan looked puzzled,

"you will get used to it" logan laughed.

amberleigh grabbed me, and dragged me away to dance.

"are you coming?" i shouted to logan still determined to make something of this shitty night.

logan smiled and followed amberleigh and i to the dance floor. it seemed that amberleigh had taken a shining to shawn. i had never seen him before but amberleigh told me he was in the big time rush band.  
he was very funny and had amberleigh cackling away with her awful laugh. it became a bit of a joke in the end. shawn would make her laugh and then the rest of us would be in hysterics just listening to her.

we went back over to james, he handed me my drink.

"sorry about tonight its a bit of a mess up" he confessed

"its fine" i lied. it couldnt of been more a mess if i tried. but none of it was to do with james.

my phone began to ring in my purse

"excuse me" i said to james as i pulled the phone out and walked out the club to answer it.

"hello?"

"paisley its kendall. i tried talking to her but she wont let me. im going out my mind. i didnt know what to do, so im calling you... im sorry!"

surprise and shock swam over me. i wasnt expecting he would call at all let alone this soon.

"hi... kendall. um... what did you wanna do? you wanna meet up for a coffee and chat? i meant what i said if you need someone to listen?"

"really? i just need to... well i dont even know what i need"

"kendall its fine! did you want me to meet you somewhere?"

"no i will pick you up in a minute. out side the club?"

"yeh sure but what about james?... i mean you just said your ill, what if he..."

"I dont care about james. i couldnt care less what he thinks any more"

" ok. take it easy okay. see you in a..."

the line went dead.

well who says chivalry is dead? bloody kendall, why do i always pick the demented guys?

i went to go inside to tell every one i was leaving, i passed james on my way back in. he was on the phone too. logan offered me a lift back to the hotel i just told him i was meeting a friend. then i went back to the entrance of the club, dreading bumping in to james and trying to explain things if he saw me get in to kendalls car but he had disapeard.

i waited out side for kendall to pull up, he only took a few minutes to arrive. he must of drove like lightening to get here so fast

i got in, and he drove off before i could even buckle my belt, we didnt talk inside the car, he drove to some modern looking town house, i presumed it was his. he got out the car and i followed him.  
Kendall opened the door to his home and I followed him in. From the lights on in his house I could see he had been crying.

He slumped down on to one of his sofas. He beckoned an arm out for me to take a seat. I perched on the edge of one next to him.

After a few moments of silence, I decided I would speak.  
He didn't look like he was going to do anything. He just sat there slouched in his seat.

"Kendall honey, what's going through your head?" I reached a hand out to offer as kindness but he moved his away from me.

He didn't say anything.

"Kendall, are you okay?" I hardly knew the guy but I'm pretty sure he wasn't normally like this.

In the restaurant he seemed bubbly and bright and he made me feel special.

Still he didn't say anything.

"kendall if you want me to leave?"  
Still no response, not even a blink. He just sat there.

I got up and went in to the kitchen, I filled a glass that I found on the drainer up with water then walked it back out to kendall and put it on the glass coffee table that was in front of him.

I walked to the front door.

"Please... don't go" kendall finally said.

I sat back down on the edge of the sofa.

"Kendall what's happened tonight?"

"I tried to talk to her. Just to explain the things in my head... but all she cares about is him" he took a sip from the water.

"Well why don't you try explaining things to me?" I asked.  
"Kendall are you still in love with sheriden?" He seemed so Hung up on her.

"No... I hate her. I want to make her life a misery for making mine one" he started crying.

"Kendall its good to get it all out. Why do you hate her. I don't really know what went on. I only know what was in the papers, that's all anyone knows" I tried his hand again. This time he let me squeeze it.

"What is it that you know? What do the public know?" He looked at me with his piercing green eyes that were now blood shot from crying.

"You and sheriden dated for a few weeks. You had a one night stand in Canada and she left you. Then she had the crash with James and the rest is history"

Kendall laughed bitterly.

"Paisley if I tell you something do you promise to not tell anyone!"

"Sure. you can trust me kendall... Promise me something though?"

"What's that?"

"You wont tell my boyfriend about us... you know. He is coming to visit me soon"

"I promise. It's a deal"

"So what is it that's on your mind?"

"I loved sheriden for months... you know before we got together. I was so happy when it happened. We were so full on. I loved it all."

"The start of a relationship is always amazing" I smiled at him.  
He continued.  
"James was always about you know. I got worried and started seeing things that she still swears to this day didn't happen. But i thought they were doing it, and I just snapped you know. I wanted to hurt her"

"Is that why you had that fling with the blonde in the paper?"

"I didn't mean to have sex. I just wanted her to see what it felt like to see me all over someone else, and say we just friends"

My mind flashed back to the nights events of kendall and I having sex and the look on his face as sheriden saw him.

"Kendall its okay. It was just a mistake in life. You will move on."

"It gets worse... But please keep your promise" I nodded that i would.

" when I got back from Canada she told me its over but she was having my baby"

Oh god. I didn't see this coming.

"Kendall if she got rid of it just despite you then..."  
He interrupted me.

" .. We kind of called it a truce but she went on this stupid break with James and when she got back i said I didn't want either of them. Her or the baby. I went home to Kansas then next thing I know, I see them getting cut out of a car on the news and she's lost the baby and i realise that I had lost her to James."

"Oh kendall. I'm so sorry, I had no idea"

"No one does apart from me, her, James and Carlos. But I can't talk to them. She is never away from James, and Carlos is all team sheriden"

"Kendall what your feeling is natural. It's just a coping mechanism in your head. You will get over this. I promise."

Kendall got up and pulled me to my feet. He held my hand and led me upstairs to his room.  
My mind boggled. Surely he knows I'm not doing this again.  
He opened the draw on his bedside cabinet and pulled out a picture.  
It was a baby from an ultra sound scan.

"He was a boy. Should be around 11 months now." he handed me the picture

I sat on the bed and looked at the little baby that lay in my hands.

"Kendall can I tell you a secret?" i stared at the picture as i spoke.

"Sure"

"When I was 15 I got pregnant. I wanted to keep it but my mother talked me in to having an abortion. Its my biggest regret. I would of made a great mom"

Kendall sat on the bed next to me. We sat in silence til I took it upon my self to put the picture safely back away.

"Paisley how did you cope?"

"I didn't... i went off track you know. I met Ryan a year later and moved in with him. I put my mind on singing and making it big to make myself forget."

"So im gonna feel what I feel forever? kendall looked at the floor as he spoke

"Kendall what do you feel?"

"Guilt" he replied

"Kendall I believe everything happens for a reason, and its that reason that makes us better people. It might take a while to feel that way but it will come... it came for sheriden."

"What do you mean?" his face looked annoyed that i had made sheriden out to be a good guy.

"Well she breaks her back, had a boyfriend die, lost you, lost a baby but she came out the other end fighting and has found true love." i paused to look at him and gave his hand another light squeeze.  
"Kendall you have an entire life ahead of you. It doesn't end at Sheriden Lloyd"

Kendall smiled.  
"how do you know so much about her?" kendall asked

"kacey... and google" i laughed.

he nodded in response.

"Your right. It's just hard to think everything will be okay when I feel this shit inside, you know." kendall put his head in his hands as he spoke.

"I do know. Yeah, but it will be. You just need to move on"

I rubbed my eyes. It had been a long day.

"Cmon il take you back to the hotel" kendall stood up. and ushered me out of his room.

The drive back was silent again. I think we both had a lot to think about.

Kendall walked me back up to the 5th floor. I think he realised that i too now wanted to make some pain go away.

I opened my room door up.  
Kacey was zonked out where I left her. Fully clothed on her bed.

"Thanks for walking me up" I said.

" thanks for being a good listener... and talker" he replied

I gave him a hug. eyed kacey up to make sure she was fully unconcious.

"... Kendall have you ever thought that sheriden is hurting just as bad as you about your baby?"

"I used to. But now i just think she is glad so she could end up with amazing James. Sometimes I even wonder if James planned it all so he could make sure he ended up with her"

i shook my head to disagree.  
"Maybe you should arrange a couple of counselling sessions. Thinking like that is not great is it?"

"yeah I know its not true but..."

Kacey moved around on her bed cutting our conversation short.

"Look I best get going. Thanks for this evening and I'm sorry about earlier" kendall gave me an embarrassed look at the thought of our steamy sex session.

"It's cool"

I gave kendall another hug and he left.

I was so tired. I just did a kacey and crawled in to bed still dressed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sheridens story.**

I woke up fairly early the next morning. I let the dogs out in to the garden. Showered, dressed and even popped in to the model management office to pick up some paper work.

It was meant to be my day off. But I knew I wouldn't relax until everything was in its right place. I arrived home just before 11am. James was still in bed.  
I stared at him for a while, even now after being with him well over a year his beauty still astounded me. I was so lucky to have him.  
I went in to my home office and started working through all the papers I had collected.

After half hour or so I was graced by the presence of my adonis Greek god.  
He had only a pair of grey sweat pants on. His hair was wild and his voice was unbroken from his nights sleep.

He is so handsome. My heart ached.

"Good morning" he chirped

"Good morning lazy bones. up in time for lunch then?" I smiled.

"Your bed holds magical powers over me" he laughed.

"Really? Just my bed" I gave him my sexy look.

He came and perched his beautiful body on the side of my desk.

" so...I been thinking about this kendall thing And decided that I'm gonna cook everyone dinner tonight."

"No, James I'm not having dinner with him" I protested.

"It will clear the air. We just need to hang out together and have a good time sheriden" he reasoned with a sympathetic tone to his voice.

"James. i dont want to..."

"Sheri, listen a minute...if kendall has issues over stuff then its not just going to be kandy teaze that won't make it".

"You honestly think kendall will quit big time rush?"

"I don't know but I do know that most of this is my fault, and I know that big time rush isnt ready to end yet. I'm not ready to end it yet sheriden" his voice was low.

"None of it is your fault. Never think like that. We would of ended up together regardless of everything" my own voice sounded snappy.

"I just feel I need to do this sheriden. We don't have to talk about the past. I know it kills you inside. But when was the last time we actually all Hung out for fun?"

"Kendalls 21st" I replied.

Kendalls 21st was the beginning of everything. James broke up with kacey and I got together with kendall.

I was so happy back then.

"Okay... okay you win" i raised my hands in the air to call it a truce.

"I love you sheriden. I'm never going to be with out you"

He kissed my head before announcing he was off for a shower.

James was in between a rock and a hard place. Kendall was his band mate, a brother, a best friend. And I was his girlfriend who he loved deeply. It must be hard to try and find a balance between kendall and I. so this was it.

Apparently kendall was more than willing to come round.  
I would have been nervous but least James knew everything now.  
I wondered if kendall knew i would tell James. Or if the whole wanting to come round was a cover up to pretend everything is ok.

James and I spent the day together in my garden. I loved days like this. Being normal. He made me laugh so much.

I loved to be with him. Even though I was 8 years older than him. He taught me so much from life.

I could never bring myself to even think about what would become of me if James ever fell out of love with me. It didn't bare thinking about .

Soon enough James became busy in the kitchen. Preparing some pasta dish. He was a good cook. James was one of those people that was good at pretty much anything he put his mind to. His intelligence always amazed me.

The door chime rang just before 7. James let kendall in. I stayed in the garden on my own for several minutes before kendall walked out and sat next to me.

I was conciouse that James could See us through the kitchen window.

"Hey" he said as he sat down.

" hi" I smiled.

"About last night..." kendall began

"Kendall please not now"

"I do need to talk to you about him"

"I can't talk about it kendall. I've shed my tears and want to forget it"

"Why do you want to forget it?"

"The pain... I can't take the pain"

Kendall put his arm round my shoulders.

"I'm sorry kendall. Its just the way I cope with it all."

"Sheriden. I'm not coping. I don't know how to cope."  
I shrugged off his arm.

"I'm on the edge sheriden" as. kendall said it he pulled out a small packet from his pocket.

"What the fuck is that?" I said knowing full well what it was.

Kendall had produced some drugs.

"It's me... coping" he replied dryly.

" you haven't done that before. Where did you get that shit from?" I mocked him. Looking at the heroin he held in his hand.

"No not yet but if I have no one to talk to about our son..."

"that's why you wanted to come round? To force me to talk to you? To threaten me with doing something stupid like that"

"I'm honestly on the brink. I can't hang on any longer. I've got no one sheriden"

"hand that shit over and I will talk all you want. Just promise me you won't get anymore. It's not the road for you kendall" I couldn't risk kendall getting in to that lifestyle.

"You survived it" he protested

"The only reason I survived is because of Carlos' family. You know that."

Kendall handed me the packet. I put it in my jeans pocket.

"Promise me kendall"

"I promise"  
I put my arm around him this time. even though i felt he was never going to take the drugs. he must be at his last straw if he feels the need to wave them at me, knowing the problems ive had in the past.

i had a cocaine habit for 3 years. most the time i took it to block out the terrible childhood i had. but eventually i took it to forget the mess my life had become. i couldnt let kendall feel that low. even if it meant i had to go to the deepest depths of my own despair to talk about our baby.

First chance I would get that shit in my pocket was going down the drain.

James came out. He looked happy that his plan of dinner looked as if it was working.

the meal went well. James came up top trumps with a delicious meal. the three of us mostly talked about the big time rush tour they had just finished. that was a safe conversation.  
it was difficult to talk about the good old days with out stumbling across mine and kendalls breif relationship, me and james getting it together or the baby.

james cleared the table and kendall used the bathroom.

"im going to talk to him. he is in a bad way james. i had no idea just how bad."

"really? he seems fine right now though huh" james took me in his arms

"yeah. im just worried he is going to do something stupid, so its worth me going through the pain if it means he avoids some serious problems."

"what do you mean serious problems? whats he done now?"

i could feel the heroin in my pocket like it was made from stone. i couldnt tell james about that.

"he hasnt done anything. im just worried he might. did you want in on this chat or...?" giving james the option of staying was important. i knew he wouldnt but he had been through the entire situation from start to finish. so he was involved even if kendall didnt like it.

"no, i'll take the dogs out" he kissed me on my fore head, just as kendall walked back in the kitchen.

"coffee?" i asked kendall

"sure" he nodded. knowing the time he had been waiting for for so long was almost here.

james said his excuses and left my home with his 2 dogs.

i sat down opposite kendall at my dark wood table and passed him his coffee.

"so lets get this over with" my words sighed out of me. dreading the pain that was about to be released in to the open.

"why cant you talk about it sheriden?" he started off with.

"um... im not sure. i guess i just like to put problems away in a little box and try to forget them. its not just the loss of the... baby... that kills me. when i think back to that time. its the pain of you, and us, and the nightmares of that crash. its everything... i was in pieces"

"do you talk about the baby with james?" he looked down at the coffee mug in his hands.

"no. he used to try but... i wasnt very forthcoming with my emotions. last night was the first time we had spoken about it in so long"

"you told him i came round?" he looked surprised.

"yes. i had to... james is worried about you too you know its hard for him to be stuck in the middle"

"its harder for me to be stuck on the outside sheriden" he paused to take a breath "i've got no one to talk to about it. no one knows he even existed"

"carlos does"

"yeah but carlos is yours again, james is yours. i have no one apart from you and you shut me out the minute you and james got together"

"i didnt shut you out kendall. i kept my distance. i didnt want to rub your nose in it. i knew you still loved me."

kendall took another deep breath

"look lets not start going on about james again okay... i want to talk about our baby. i feel so guilty. i have so many what ifs going on in my head i cant breathe properly. its my waking thought near on all the time"

"kendall i said this to you before. you cant change what happened. you just have to learn to deal with the reality"

"but i cant deal with it. if i had just of taken you to that clinic then the crash would never of happened and our son would be here now"

my heart swelled with fear as the memories came flooding back to me. the tears began rolling down my face.

"sheriden. i dont know how to move on"

"it wasnt you fault kendall. its just life. it happened" my sobs became louder.

"you must of thought the same thing though. if i drove it would all be different" kendalls eyes welled.

"of course i have. i wasted hours dreaming away with scenarios of us having a baby. but he's gone kendall. its all gone. i was so happy up untill that bloody canada trip. i loved you so much..."

here it came. the one thing i didnt want to happen. i was losing control of the feelings ive tried so hard to bury and forget. my voice came out high, and broken with cries in between  
i carried on.

"you fucked it all up. you fucked that slut and my heart died. the pain i felt..." i crossed my arms over my chest. the pain was still very much real.

"im sorry im so sorry. everything i said and did i didnt mean sheriden. i loved you, i loved our baby. everything happened so fast for us. i didnt know how to control any of it" tears escaped from kendalls eyes as he spoke.

"do you blame me... for the baby? i need to know sheriden" he reached his hands over the table and they met with mine.

i looked up in to the eyes of the man that i had once so deeply loved. did i blame him?

"no... i dont blame you... not for the baby" i wiped my face. my throat felt thick with emotion trying to hold the crying in

"really?" he asked

"honestly. its crosses my mind what would of been if we hadn't of lost him all the time, but ive never felt blame towards you" i looked kendall straight in the eye. i meant what i said.

"you would of been an amazing mom sheriden" kendalls own fantasy visions of us being parents glinted in his eyes as he spoke.

"would of had to of been... to try and tame his hair if he took after you" i cried out a small laugh.

kendall smiled and ruffled his own hair that always looked a mess but at the same time looked amazing.

"im sorry about everything kendall. the whole james thing"

"paisley said to me last night that everything happens for a reason, and james is your reason that balances out all the bad things that have happened to you"

"you told paisley? i thought we agreed to not tell anyone?" i looked at kendall through my red puffy eyes

"i know. and im sorry. she wont say anything. i just needed someone to listen, and she offered."

"are you two a thing now?"

kendall smiled  
"no. that was a mistake, and its all been sorted out. just friends. and besides she has a boyfriend"

"paisley is very pretty kendall. you havent dated anyone for... well since me"

silence fell on us.

"im just not ready to let that go yet" he confessed.  
kendall got up from his seat and came and sat next to me. he wrapped his arms around me. as i sat with my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent that had once smelt like home. the pain in my chest got worse. tonights chat had opened up so many things i didnt want to think about, and now having kendall hold me in his arms, i couldnt contain it any longer. sobs ached out of me for the loss of so many things. kendall and the baby and jay were the ones that hurt the most.  
i felt for sure my heart would break. but the pain just kept coming along with the crying.

"sheriden come on its going to be okay" kendall held me tighter, and probably realised then why i avoided talking about it for so long.

i was a mess now, i was shaking and the tears were uncontrollable. it was almost a howl that was coming out of my mouth.

"sheriden im so sorry" was all i could hear kendall saying.

"sheriden?" james had returned.  
kendall let go of me as james came and took his place.

"what did you do?" james hissed at kendall.

"we talked, thats all. she's having some kind of break down" kendall walked over to the sink, his voice sounded scared.

"sheri come on baby calm down" james pleaded with me. his face looked scared too.

"sheriden drink this" came kendalls voice. he had carefully placed a glass of water in my hand but it slipped out and smashed on the floor.

james left my side to clear the glass away and kendall picked me up from my seat and carried me in to my living room. he sat me down on the sofa and just held me.  
james came in and sat on the other side of me. he took my hand as i sat there in kendalls arms.  
i felt the crying would never cease but eventually came the time that nothing more could come out. i felt exhausted.

"sheri baby?"

my head pounded from the tears, my chest still ached away.

"whats wrong with me?" i asked

"nothings wrong with you sheriden. you needed to get that out. tomorrow it will all seem better i promise" james' voice was calm and reasurring. i wished it to be true.

i looked at kendall

"im so sorry" i said to him.

"sheriden dont say sorry. youve got nothing to be sorry for" came his reply and he kissed me on my forehead.

"i should get going" kendall announced.

"sure" said james' reply. i just sat in silence. i pulled me knees up to my chest trying to make the ache go away.

"sheriden im sorry, so sorry for this" kendall stroked my hair back from my face as he stood up.

i looked up at him  
"its not your fault, just you being here, and talking and..."  
i started crying again.  
"im sorry" i wept

kendall kissed me on the head and james walked him out to the door. i could hear them talking, but none of it sank in. i was too busy trying to make the pain go away inside my chest.

james walked back in, sat down and pulled me in to his arms.

"cmon, lets get you to bed" he said as he pulled me over to him and lifted me on to his lap.

james carried me up and laid me on my bed, i didnt move, didnt get undressed just lay on the covers.  
we didnt talk. he just laid next to me and stroked my face. looking in to james eyes was the last thing i remember. my exhausted body fell to sleep.

i woke up early again the next day, i ran myself a bath in the ensuite, chucked yesterdays clothes on the bed and got in.

my body ached from all the crying i had done, and my back hurt too.

james woke up and came in to check on me, he pulled the lid down on the toilet and sat down.

"how are you feeling today" he asked

"numb at the moment, but i feel like crap. im so sorry for yesterday. i dont know what happened to me"

"dont apologise sheriden. you find it difficult to deal with. look at your life. its not exactly been plain sailing has it. you'll be fine. dont worry"

the home phone rang. who could that be this early, it had only just gone 5am. james walked in to the bedroom to answer it.

i listened in to the one way converstation .

"hey carlos. hows florida?"

"no why?"

"what?"

"how did they find out?"

"really?"

"fuck sake! no i will take a look."

"no not yet. its really bad timing los'"

"kendall? no, i can do though... shit what a mess"

"ya thanks buddy. okay bye"

james hung up the phone and walked back in to the bathroom and sat back on the closed lid toilet.

"sherri. listen to me okay. dont freak out on me. nothing is gonna happen okay, i wont let it"

i looked up at james, my eyes wide. what had happened? his voice on the phone sounded like some one had died.

"is kendall okay?" was my first question, last thing i needed was him trying to top himself.

"kendalls fine baby... its kacey" i looked at james puzzled, whats kacey got to do with anything?  
james continued.

"kacey has sold a story on us sherri"

what could kacey possibly know that she would get given money to tell her story?

"kacey doesnt know anything about us?" i argued

"she does, i dont know how but she knows about the baby and... now everyone knows about the baby. its on the news sherri"

i just looked at james. what was he trying to tell me? what would kacey know about my baby?

i got out the bath and wrapped myself in a towel, i went in to the bedroom and got my phone to look on the internet.

headlines: sheriden lloyd aborts schmidt baby for life with maslow

new reports have come in that ex runway model sheriden lloyd had her baby aborted amid rumours that she wanted to leave then boyfriend kendall schmidt of big time rush, to start a new relationship with his fellow band mate james maslow.

i couldnt read any more  
James took the phone from my hand. He read the article.

"Sheriden, I swear I didn't tell her a thing. I haven't spoken to her at all since we split up"

"It was paisley... kendall told paisley" my voice sounded strange. Robotic almost.

"What? Why would he tell her that."

"I don't know. Paisley must of told kacey" I stared in to space. I was in shock

"Sheriden. I'm going to sort all this out baby. Will you be okay for an hour"

"Sure" I lied.

James quickly got dressed and left my house.

I felt sick. My body had no emotion left to pour out. The pain in my chest felt so severe. How was I going to survive a media circus.  
I couldn't even handle talking to the father of my baby.  
What could I do. Where could I run?

As I stared in to space I realised the answer to all my problems sat in my jeans pocket.  
I looked at them for a long while before taking out the small clingfilmed package.

I casually walked down stairs with it and rummaged through my kitchen cupboards untill I found what I was looking for... a syringe. It was meant for my cortisone injections after I broke my foot in the car crash. But I had hardly used the stash i had been given. I grabbed a spoon from the drawer and a lighter. Then went up stairs to the bathroom. I got some cotton wool and started to cook up kendalls heroin.

sat on the bathroom floor i realised something  
kendall was wrong. Everything that had happened in my life hadn't lead me to James. It lead me to this.

As I injected the heroin in to my arm I left the pain behind.


	10. Chapter 10

**Paisleys story.**

Eurgh. Who was that? The phone rang in the hotel room.

Amberleigh answered it. We were both Hung over from our day off together yesterday.  
We had spent the day shopping and sightseeing and the evening getting seriously merry in our room.  
Kacey hadn't joined in though. She went out yesterday morning. And we hadn't seen her since. Her bed was still empty now as I glanced over to it with my weary eyes.

"That was maslow" Amberleigh said as she got off the phone.

"He is down stairs he wants to see you" she added.

"What? Why does he want to see me?" I asked her

"I don't know. He wanted kacey first but I said she hasn't been back. Then he asked for you." Amberleigh crawled back in to bed.

"God sake. Why didn't he just come up here?" I got out of bed and tied my hair up then dragged some jeans and a top on me.

I left the room and went down to the reception. I noticed the time on the oversized clock before I saw James.  
Jesus it wasn't even 6 yet.

I walked over to James. He looked rough... well as rough as gorgeous James maslow could look. He had a baseball cap and sunshades on.

"Hi whassup" I greeted him cheerily.

"Come with me" he said, and he led me by the elbow out of the hotel and in to this amazing sports car.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

He ignored me. Jesus what was up the arses of all these big time rush boys. What did sheriden do to them all to make them so miserable.

He pulled up to the familiar looking town house That belonged to kendall But it was chaos here. There was photographers all over the place. They swooped in on the car pressing cameras up against the glass.  
James stopped the car and pulled his phone out.

He dialled a number then spoke.

"Get in the car. I'm out side"

Then he Hung up.  
What was going on.

"James what's happening?"

James turned and looked at me, I stared back at myself in the reflection of his sun glasses.

"We are trying to sort out the mess you have created of our lives" he almost spat the words back at me.

"What?" As I spoke kendall emerged from his house.  
He also wore a hat and sun glasses. He pretty much ran up to the car, battled his way through the paparazzi and got in the back. James started to drive away slowly. Careful to not knock anyone over then he got pissed off and revved the engine and sounded the horn.

The sea of cameras finally made way for us to leave.

"What the fuck is going on?" I finally said

"You promised me pais'" kendall eventually spoke

"Promised what?" I snapped back.

"To not say anything about mine and sheridens baby" he hissed.

"What? I haven't said anything to anyone!" I bit back.

"Then how has kacey delta found out and told the papers a load of bull shit about it" James' voice sounded full of hate towards me.

"I swear. It wasn't me. Kendall please, I told you about my own baby. I would never..." my mind went in to over drive. I was ticking away.

"kacey was in bed the night you took me back to my room. She must have overheard us?" I looked over my shoulder to look at kendall.

"What the fuck are you two doing talking about it in front of kacey?" James added.

"I thought she was asleep" kendall said.

The rest of the short drive was a silent one.

"Fuck sake!" James said, As We pulled in to a large gated property.

I saw what James had cursed about.  
Cameras were again all over the place.

"Why didn't you shut the gates" kendall asked James.

"She never shuts them. Ever. I didn't think to" came his reply"

The car drove up to as near the front door as possible.

" I can't do it. I can't get out there with all of them" I said looking at the vultures outside the car brandishing huge cameras.

"It's fine cmon" kendall said as he opened his door and got Mobbed by vultures. My own door opened up and kendalls hand reached in and pulled me out.  
He held on tight as we made our way to the front door of the house.

I don't know how but we all made it inside. James locked the door behind him.

This house was beautiful. The large entrance I stood in had a huge white winding stair case. The floors were wooden and very shiny. The furniture in the entrance hall was so elegent and well placed.

We walked in to the kitchen. Again this was huge and had a large dark wood table in the centre.

I sat down but James and kendall remained standing.

"What are we going to do?" James asked kendall. His hands on his head.

"Gonna have to talk to them eventually. Clear it all up. It will blow over" kendall assured him.

"Where is sheriden?" He added.

"She is here. Don't worry" James concluded.

"Well I will phone Scott and see what he says" James said.

"Who is Scott?" I asked.

James ignored me and turned his back to me dialling on his phone

"He is our publicist. He tells us how to handle shit like this" kendall filled me in.

"You believe me that I didn't tell kacey don't you?" I asked kendall.

"Yeah I do" kendall gave me a reassuring smile.

James got off his phone and slid it back in his pocket.  
"Scotts going to organise a proper press conference for us. He said don't say anything to the paps outside" he seemed calmer.

"James has someone been in here?" Kendall asked as he looked at a mess spilt out on the floor from an open cupboard in the far end of the kitchen.

James walked over to the mess and picked up the contents of what looked like a first aid box. He picked up a small sealed packet with a puzzled look on his face.

Kendall froze with fear for a second. It was a load of medical packet syringes.

"Shit" he said then ran out to the door in the next room.

"Sheriden?" "Sheriden!?" Kendall kept shouting.

"Where is she" kendall screamed at James.

James couldn't understand why kendall was so stressed out. Nor could I.

"she was upstairs" james said

kendall was out the kitchen and up the stairs. James and I followed.

"Sheriden?" Kendall kept calling.

"Maybe she went out?" I offered.

We were in sheriden lloyds bedroom. It was again beautiful with a huge picture of her on the wall.

Kendall opened a door in the bedroom.  
"Fuck... Sheriden... No" came the shocked words from him.  
As I moved to look in and see what kendall had seen I felt ill.

Sheriden lay motionless on the floor of the bathroom. The towel she once had wrapped around her lay scattered at the side. She lay on her front. I could see her very famous scar on her spine. I could also see she had vomit in her hair that was stuck to her face.  
Then I saw the needle next to her.  
It was James' screams that unfroze me from my shock. He was beside himself. He fell to his knees.

Kendall had turned sheriden and checked her breathing. She wasn't. Her lips were blue.

"Phone a fucking ambulance"  
Kendall screamed at me.

I looked at James. Then grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialled 911.

"Cmon sheriden" kendall said as he gave her mouth to mouth.

James couldn't move. He just stared as kendall tried to revive his girlfriend.

"Kendall where am I. Address?" i asked in a panic  
Kendall shouted the address to me, and I was told an ambulance would be here shortly.

It didn't look like sheriden was alive.  
I ran down stairs and unlocked the door waiting for the ambulance.  
They arrived after just a few minutes and I lead them upstairs to Sheridens bathroom.

James still sat on his knees in the door way. Kendall was pumping on sheridens heart.

"James cmon" I lead James back in to the bedroom.

"She is going to be fine" I told him. I went back to the bathroom door.

"Hello sheriden. Can you hear me?" the paramedic talked loudly at sheriden.

Kendall stood up as they took over looking after sheriden Lloyd.

He started crying.

"Do you know what she's taken?" The paramedic asked kendall.

"Heroin" he replied.

The paramedic rammed another syringe in to sheridens chest.  
A gasp of air sucked in to her mouth.

Kendall slumped to his feet. His crying was uncontrollable.  
But sheriden was now breathing but not conciouse.

They prepped her and lead her outside to an ambulance on a stretcher. James went with them leaving kendall and I in sheridens home.

We both sat at the big table in the kitchen.

"Kendall. She will be fine" I promised him.

"It's all my fault" he whispered.

"No... no its not. You did great. You saved her life kendall" I gave kendall a hug.

"I need to phone Carlos" he whispered at me.

"I think maybe that can wait?" I protested.  
"Your not in a fit state to talk to anyone" I added.

"I have to. He is her family... oh sheriden. What were you thinking?" Kendall fell to pieces in front of me.

There was nothing I could say to help kendall. No words would soothe him for what he had just seen and done.

"Kendall when your ready we will phone Carlos then go to the hospital okay".

Kendall nodded. I made him a coffee and his anxiety slowly started to calm down.

He pulled his phone out and pressed a button.

"Carlos?..."  
"yeah im...not so good."  
"Carlos... sheriden overdosed and she is in the hospital. I think you should come back to L.A."

I stepped outside the room. I heard kendall break down in tears again.  
I went up stairs to the bathroom where sheriden lay just moments ago. I stared for several minutes taking in everything that I had just seen.

I then took it apon myself to clean the bathroom up. The needle had gone. The paramedics must of taken it in a sharps box.  
I cleaned the sick up from the floor. And picked up the fluffy white towel and placed it in the wash basket. The lighter and spoon I took downstairs and put them in the bin.  
If James came back here at least he wouldn't have to see all that again.  
I Tidied the mess up from the first aid cupboard and closed the door.  
Then searched the kitchen for dog food.  
I couldn't find any.

"What are you doing" kendall asked me.

"Was going to feed James' dogs. I cant see any food"

"It's probably in there." Kendall looked toward a door just next to the kitchen.  
It was a utility room. Just as kendall had predicted. The dog food was on a shelf.

After feeding them I sat back down with kendall at the table.

"How come you knew where it was?"I asked him.

"It's where I had to put my dogs food when I was with her... sheridens not much of a dog person". He smiled at his own memories.

"Is Carlos coming?" I changed the subject.

"Yeah he will be getting on a flight later today. He is in Florida" kendall mused.

"Did you want to go to the hospital?" I asked kendall.

"Can't we are stuck here. I don't have my car. And that lot will mob us out side. Il phone for a cab".

"I wonder what the press have said that happened to sheriden?" I wondered out loud.

"The tv is through there" kendall said.

I walked in to sheridens lounge. It was beautiful but far too posh to properly relax in.  
With large vases filled with fresh flowers and dark wooden ornate furniture.  
There was another huge picture hung on the wall. Black and white, just like the one in her room but this one was of her and James.  
Sheriden had her bare back to the camera with James arms carefully around her waist.  
Her head was turned so you could see a side profile of her face. She looked in to James' eyes.  
James was bare chested with black jeans on. Sheriden had one hand on his shoulder and the other rested on the belt buckle of his jeans.  
Looking at James looking in to sheridens eyes made my heart thump.  
He loved her so much. I wondered what on earth he must be going through right now.

Kendall walked in the room and saw me staring up at the beautiful picture in front of me.

"They did it for charity" he said.  
He stood next to me and carried on.  
"It was auctioned off to raise money for her spinal charity. But James being James put in the winning bid of 250 grand".

I looked at kendall in astonishment.  
I could see why James would of bought the picture though, it was a very personal looking picture. I don't think it would of fitted in anywhere else in the world than sheriden lloyds house.

"There will be a car here in a minute. Did you want it to drop you off to the hotel?" Kendall asked matter of factly.

"Er... I would like to see how she is if you don't mind me coming with you?" My voice was low.

Kendall looked at me. I don't think he wanted to go alone to the hospital.  
"Sure" he replied.

He turned the tv on and sat down on the large cream leather sofa.

The news wasn't good. They had pictures and footage of sheriden being taken out in to the ambulance.  
They suspected over dose and ran a story on her previous drugged up life.  
My own picture also popped up. It looked like sheriden wasn't the only one kacey had told tales on.  
The tv was telling me i was in a relationship with kendall. They even had a picture of us from this morning holding hands getting away from James' car.

What was Ryan going to say when he saw this.  
My whole world seemed to collapse in seconds.  
Obviously kandy teaze was finished thanks to kacey. And now my boyfriend was going to find out I had slept with kendall Schmidt.

Kendall turned the tv off.

"I'm sorry" he said.

A tear left my face. This was not the time to do this. I can't break down now.

Kendall gave me a cuddle. It felt nice.  
"You okay pais'" he asked.

"Yeah... yeah. It will get sorted huh." I convinced myself.

"I will talk to your boyfriend if you want... you know clear the air. Explain what's actually happened".

"Sure okay" I mumbled. I gazed out the window for several minutes collecting my thoughts.  
A car horn beeped outside and kendall grabbed my hand again to help me escape the cameras.

"Don't talk okay" he said just before we left the house.

Kendall picked up some keys on the sideboard and locked sheridens house before climbing in to the back of a tinted window car with me.


	11. Chapter 11

**paisleys story**

We had arrived at the hospital and sat inside a small room. no one had told us anything about how sheriden was. i prayed to god that she was still alive.

half an hour or more must of passed before the door opened and james walked in. his face pale and eyes red.

"whats happening" kendall asked him before james had even shut the door.

james took a seat before saying a word.

"james is she okay?" kendall tried again, but this time his voice almost gave out.

"she... is er..." james couldnt get the words out, i sat next to him and held his hand.

"take a deep breath" i said to james.

he did.  
"she is in a coma" he looked at kendall with tears rolling down his face

kendall just stared at him. i think he was parylzed from shock.

"they wont know if there is any permanant damage to her brain untill... if she wakes up" james voice sounded eerily calm.

i rubbed james' hand to comfort him.

"kendall can i ask you something thats been bothering me" james stood up and let my hand fall down to my side.

kendall just looked at him.

"how did you know exactly what it what it was that sheriden had had taken?"

kendall looked at james as james walked closer toward him.  
there was a long silence from kendal before he spoke

"i gave it to her" came kendalls whispered responsed.

"what?" i added

kendall got flustered.  
"it wasnt like that, i didnt give it to her... she took it off of me"

"so she was using again and you knew and didnt tell me?" james sounded scary, ive never heard his voice like this before.

"no she wasnt using. i was going to. it was mine, and she found out and she took it off me, she was gonna chuck it. but i guess things got too much for her today"

"if she dies thats two lives you will have on your concience" james spat at him.

"james dont. its not his fault"

"no fuck it. why are you here any way?" james looked at me "your just another of his sluts that he gets to send sheriden over the edge. she told me all about it. you just cant help but try and fuck her over can you kendall. first vancouver, then the baby and now your handing out smack to her"

a nurse came in to see what all the noise was about.

"i think its best you leave" she said to kendall.

"i want to see her" kendall protested

james laughed.  
"your not seeing her. i dont even want to see you. im done with you kendall. its all fucked. get out"

i stood up and took kendall by the hand and lead him out side.

we got in a cab that was parked up and headed back to kendalls home.

sitting in kendalls home was more relaxing than sheridens. it was slightly unkept, and not everything was put in its desired location.

we sat for a long while not saying anything.

"kendall sheriden is going to be fine. she is a strong woman. you can fix this" i rubbed his arm.

"fix it? how exactly can this be fixed? he mumbled at me.

"talk, say your side of events, at least then when sheriden does wake up she wont have to worry about people saying she aborted your baby"

"i cant. i wouldnt know where to begin right now" he said

"start from the beginning. write it down if you need to then we can stop the lies that kacey started" i spurred him on, he couldnt just sit here and wallow.

"why dont you hate me paisley? ive pretty much ruined your life too" kendall looked at the floor as he spoke to me.

"everything happens for a reason. remember?" kendall looked me in the eye as he listened to my words of wisdom.  
i think he clung on to every word i said.

"cmon talk to that scott guy and we can help sort most of this mess out. least we would be doing something" i smiled at him.

so it began. i helped kendall work through the entire story of everything that happened to him and sheriden. we wrote it down and re worded it over and over again in the hope that no blame could be placed on either of them.

scott the publicist had arranged a breakfast tv show in which kendall would be appearing the following morning to be interviewed to get the real story across.

we trailed through the internet finding pictures to back him up.

"kendall ive just had an idea." i spoke as i looked at a picture of sheriden and james in las vegas, she was on crutches. but they both had smiles on there faces.

"whats that?" he asked with sceptisism in his voice. i think he found it hard to believe james and sheriden never did hook up before she had finished it with kendall. kendall looked at the screen on the lap top. his eyebrows knitted together.

"your picture you have of your baby. it has the date of the scan on the top of it. its the same date as the crash isnt it?"

kendall looked at me then went up stairs to get the picture. he returned with it in his hand.

"kendall with that picture you can do a lot of good"

kendall looked at the picture.  
"none of this will make sheriden better though will it?" he asked

"no... no it wont, but it will help james and you, and when sheriden wakes up she will see how hard you have worked to try and help her. abortion isnt the best thing to get labelled in, especially when its been put in the sense that kacey had worded it in."

"okay" was his only response.

i folded the lap top up, having sheriden and james grinning away at us wasnt helping anything.  
"cmon, i will make us something to eat. you need to help me find everything"

i pulled kendall to his feet and in to the kitchen.

"dont you want to phone your boyfriend?" kendall asked

"kendall" i said softly "i think your more in need of my help today than ryan is" i gave him a weak smile and walked over to the fridge.

there wasnt much inside it

"omelettes it is then?" i said as i shook my head.

we talked about sheriden as i prepared our food.

"you do still love her dont you?" i asked kendall

"i guess i do yeah" he answered honestly.

"what is it about her?" i questioned him.

"im not sure. the first day i met her she blew me away, when we got together it was all so quick with everything. i fell so hard for her. she just has this spell over me, ya know?"

i thought to ryan. i doubted he would ever say such words about me. he would most proabably just say im a bit of alrite. best he could get at the time.

"im not sure i do know what that feels like" i confessed.

"you know when theres nothing you can do. you just get... i dont know, caught in the moment" he added.

my memory gave me a brief flash back to a few nights ago when kendall seduced me in my hotel room. he had a power over me then. he had a spell on me.  
my face reddoned, kendall saw me and must of thought the same thing as i just had. he made an excuse to go to the bathroom.

we ate in the living room, with our plates on our laps. i wondered to myself how sheriden ever did get it together with kendall. they were nothing alike. i definatly could not see sheriden sitting in here with a plate of food on her lap. she was too prim. she had lived the celebrity lifestyle for too long. but james fitted in perfectly with her.

the door knocked. it was late now, i hoped it wasnt more camera people. i thought we had seen the last of them a few hours ago.

kendall must of recognised the shadow as he opened the door right up.  
it was carlos pena.  
i hadnt met carlos before. he always struck me as the jolly one out of the 4 big time rush guys though.

kendall shut his door.

"i should rip your fucking head off your neck. you fucking idiot" came carlos' greeting to kendall. obviously i was wrong in my always jolly assumption.

"she took it from me, i didnt give it to her" kendall protested "have you been to see her?"

carlos sat down next to me, he didnt even acknowledge my existance.

"yeah ive just come from there. its no change. james is a complete mess, his mum is there with him now. but he wont leave her bedside. sheriden looked so... small".

i thought back to seeing sheridens naked body on the floor of her bathroom. there really wasnt much to her, a size 0 i expected. but she was small and frail looking. i could see carlos' fear in his face thinking the worst is yet to come.

"im doing an interview in the morning. did you want to come with me?" kendall asked

"interview? what for?" carlos questioned

"to sort all this abortion shit out once and for all. least sheriden wont have to worry when she wakes up" my own words came out of kendalls mouth. he believed me when i said all that to him. i prayed it would work out for him.

"i cant. ive come round for the keys actually to her house... do you have them?"

kendall pulled the maserrati car keys that james had left in the entrance hall. it had james key to sheridens house dangling on it.  
kendall handed the keys to carlos.

"he asked me to get the dogs and take them to mine" carlos must of felt bad to have to explain his actions to kendall in taking the only peice of sheridens life he had left, away from him.  
"good luck tomorrow" carlos said before seeing himself out the door.

i stood up. kendall looked totally lost. he must feel that everyone had abandoned him from one mistake. he didnt know all this was going to send sheriden over the edge and OD on drugs. he was just on a journey to try and help his own grief out.

i wrapped my arms around him. he gladly wrapped his round me.

somehow after a day of having my own hopes and dreams dashed and the possibilty my boyfriend of 3 years is never likely to talk to me again. all i felt i could do was console kendall.  
he needed me so much. i didnt have time to even start on my own problems. besides they all seemed ridiculous compared to the events that i had seen today.

kendall and i sat down on the sofa again. i figured i wasnt going back to the hotel and made myself as comfy as i could to try get some sleep.

"you can have my bed if you want? i will stay down here" kendall offered.

"no your fine. i dont really feel i want to be on my own" i smiled at him.

"me neither" he replied.

he lay his head on my knees that were curled up on the seat.

i stroked his hair back to help to relax him. what a day this guy had had. i hoped that james would apologise to him someday. if it wasnt for kendall, sheriden lloyd would of died on that bathroom floor.  
i watched kendalls eyes move around the room, he was thinking away to himself.

my eyes became heavy and i eventually fell in to a light sleep. i woke up few times in the night. my legs felt dead from the weight of kendall leaning on them, but he had finally fallen to sleep, i didnt want to disturb him. he needed rest.

he looked so at peace. i wished the hours would go slow for him in the night so the reality of what had happened could be delayed from him for just a little longer.

kendalls movement in the morning woke me up. it was early.

"morning" i said to him.  
he looked nervous.

"morning" he replied  
kendall was buzzing around getting things sorted, he was beginning to make me nervous.

"kendall stop" i finally said  
"calm down. take a breath. get something to eat and... calm down" kendall looked at me with scared eyes.  
"come here" i said as i pulled him in for a hug

"what if this makes everything worse?" he said in my ear.

"how can it get worse" was my honest response to him. i think it worked though as he did seem calmer.

"pais will you come with me?" i pulled away from our hug and looked him full in the face. i wasnt expecting this. what he was going to talk about on national tv had nothing to do with me. if anything getting involved in it will put the final nail in any music career dreams i had. let alone spur on the lies that kendall and i are ... a thing.

somehow though my response from my mouth came out very differently  
"course i will"

i looked a complete mess. but there was nothing i could do about it now. kendall drove us down to the tv station. he was incredibly fidgety.  
i had a churning in my stomach.

a lady called jane came and spoke to kendall, she ran through some of the questions he would be given so he had time to get his answers ready.

it didnt sound all bad. it was just a case of if the public wanted to believe kaceys crock of bull shit or the truth from kendall.

i was given a seat just off camera. i gave kendall a small smile of good luck as he took his seat in the spot light.  
he was dressed smart. he looked clean and healthy, not like he had looked yesterday.

the music started and the host introduced the show. kendall was due on in a few moments

the atmosphere was tense. mostly due to thet fact that everyone knew sheridens life hung in the balance somewhere at hospital.

"kendall. thank you so much for coming here today. we appreciate it must be a very difficult time for all involved. do you have any update on sheriden lloyds health?" the first question wasnt so bad but it worried me what kendall might reply as he was now shunned from sheridens and james' life.

"i havent been given any recent news this morning on how sheriden is yet. but i wish her a speedy recovery" kendalls reply came quick and was vague enough to avoid any more questions connecting him to it.

kendall had told them before he would not answer questions regarding what happened yesterday to sheriden. so the host cracked on to his main subject.

"now the media went crazy yesterday over rumours that sheriden had aborted your baby to make way for a new love in her life. how did that come about?" i moved nervously in my seat hoping kendall could keep it together.

"yes... well the truth is always hard to find in situations like this. but the simple answer is what was told was mostly incorrect. yes there was a baby. but no it was not aborted. sheriden miscarried the baby in the car crash that she was involved in with james maslow" well done kendall i thought, he remembered to use "incorrect" instead of "lies", which is the word he originally wrote down yesterday when we planned all of this.

"in the papers it reads that she aborted the baby two weeks before the crash. and then went on a break with james maslow to las vegas, where she was seen on crutches celebrating his birthday".

"yes well again this is incorrect. she was still around ten weeks pregnant then. but i would just like to take the time to say that even if sheriden had carried out an abortion which many people have done i dont think it should have the need to cause up the media attention it has"

"so you believe the pregnancy was sadly ended in the crash?" the host asked.

"yes, sheriden and i had recently gone through some personal problems in our relationship, which i regret was my own fault i wasnt able to be in her life at the time that crash took place, which is why james was with her. james had taken sheriden for a 12 week scan at the plymouth day clinic."

kendall produced his baby picture with the date clearly visable.

"so it must be very hard for you to talk about kendall"

"obviously yes. it was a very hard time for everyone involved. but i felt i needed to come here today to tell everyone the truth of what really happened, as kacey delta had attempted to turn the public view of sheriden lloyd for her own gain".

"so you are aware that the original story came very publicly from kacey delta who is an ex girlfriend of james maslow"

"yes im fully aware that the story had originated from her. she has also had some personal problems regarding her split from james. im sure everyone remembers the slap she gave him at the KVA awards not so long ago"

"is there any resentment in the group regarding you and james now. i mean surely it must hurt to see him and sheriden as a couple"

"actually james and sheriden have always been very close friends. we all are you know, you have to be to live in each others pockets like we do. the time i realised that james was falling in love with sheriden, our relationship was already ended, it was after the miscarriage. obviously sheriden wasnt in a fit state to think about much else that was happening in her life. i sat down with james one night and just told him if he wants her then to go for it. i could see how much he loved her"

"so there was no stealing of girlfriends, and cheating behind backs?"

"no. the only cheating that went on was my own when i made a very public mistake in vancouver. but as far as sheriden, james and i are concerned. we are still all good friends"

"kendall why was all the baby news kept so hush hush to begin with"

"um... mostly because the pregnancy was still very early on, and because of the personal problems sheriden and i had. after the crash everything seemed so raw for sheriden we thought it best to not make it public knowledge to spare her feelings. you have to remember sheriden had recently been through the death of a loved one and of course her spinal injury ended her modelling career. she finds it very emotional to talk about all these things"

"do you think thats the reason she has ended up in hospital now, because it forced her to talk about them?"

"no one will know those reasons untill she is able to tell us herself"

"just finally what are your thoughts on kacey delta at the moment?"

kendall took a deep breath  
"my thoughts on kacey are mainly pity. she has got some issues that desperatly need addressing, thats all i have to say on that matter"

"thank you kendall. we all send sheriden our love and prayers"

"thank you"

kendall was excused from his hot seat and made his way over to me. i hugged him.  
"lets get out of here" he said

the taxi dropped me off at the hotel.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sheridens story**

I could hear voices. But my eyes wouldn't open to let me see anything. Nothing would move. I felt like I was in a dream.

The voices came and went. One of them I knew.  
James... it was James. My beautiful boyfriend. He sounded sad. Why was he so sad. I couldnt remember. My dream wouldn't let me remember.

I must of fallen to sleep again. But I woke up this time able to open my eyes.

I could see James. He was sat with his head on the side of my bed.  
He didn't see me. I tried to move my hand that he was holding but it wouldn't move. I could feel James' hand.  
Why couldn't I move? What had happened to me?

I was too tired to get scared about it. I just accepted it.  
Sleep took me away again.

The next time I woke up. I could open my eyes and I could move my fingers. I tried to talk but nothing would come out.

"Sheriden?" Came my beautiful James' voice.

I tried to smile at him but I'm not sure if my face moved.

"Sheri... can you hear me baby?"  
I moved my fingers. James smiled at me.  
He pressed a button and a nurse came in.

"Hello sheriden" she sounded so loud, she may have well of shouted at me.

"Sheriden do you know where you are?" My eyes moved from her to James to the surroundings of where I lay.

"Your in intensive care at hospital sheriden" she smiled at me.

"James is here, he has been taking good care of you." I looked at James he smiled at me but he had tears in his eyes.

She turned to look at all the monitors I was hooked up to and spoke to James.  
"Her stats look good. She is on her way out of it" the nurse said.  
"Why can't she speak?" James asked. His voice shook.  
" its normal that she will gradually come out of the coma. The fact she is responding to us is good news James. She understood what I said and looked around the room. That tells us her brain is still functioning very well"

"So she will make a full recovery?"

"Most young people that overdose and end up in a coma do make a full recovery. The chances are in her favour. She just needs time" she smiled at James again and picked a folder up at the end of my bed and left the room.

"Did you hear that Sheri, she said your going to be just fine. Then we can go home and put all this behind us" James tears over flowed his eyes.

I heard the word overdose. Surely that's not me she was talking about.  
My memory wouldn't work.  
Again the sleepyness took me under.

The next time I woke up. I couldn't see James. There was no one in the room but me. I moved my head to the side. It felt stiff.  
The room was filled with so many cards and flowers. Even a balloon bobbed about.

The door opened and a familiar face poked his head through.  
"Hello princess" he said.

"Logie" my voice cracked out. And a smile I could feel on my face.

Logan walked over to me and kissed me on my cheek.

"Your talking! That's brilliant! James will be annoyed he missed this"

"Where is James" my voice rasped out.

"He will be back in a little while. He has gone home for a shower that's all princess". Logan smiled a beautiful smile at me. His brown eyes gave me reassurance. Where as James' had looked scared for me.

"Logan what happened to me?"

"Let's not worry about that just yet. How are you feeling?" He changed the subject.

I looked him over with my blue eyes. What wasn't he telling me.

" is Carlos and kendall here too?"

"Carlos has been in and out all the time. He has been singing to you too" he laughed softly.

"And Kendall?" I reminded.

Logan looked away from me.  
"No... no he hasn't"

"Logan what is it? What happened. Is kendall okay?"

"Look let's just wait for James then we can talk everything over" Logan flashed me a fake smile.

I tried to sit up. But I couldnt.

"Take it easy sheriden" Logan soothed.

"Tell me why. What happened to me. What's happened to kendall?" One of my machines began to beep at me and a nurse came in.

"Sheriden I need you to calm down" the nurse told me. Another nurse came in. My heart rate felt insane. Like it was going to pop out my chest.

I saw Logan get moved to the back of the room.

Then everything just faded away.

"Sheriden?... sheriden?" Was the soft words I got woken up by.

It was James.  
I opened my eyes.  
"James" my voice was a whisper.

"Hey baby girl" he replied.  
"Your talking. That's great!" He beamed at me.

I tried to lift my hand up. But couldn't quite manage it.

"Logan said you got a bit angry at him" again James gave me an amazing smile as he held the hand I tried to lift.

"He wouldn't tell me what had happened to me and kendall?" My lips cracked as I spoke. They felt dry.

"Kendalls fine baby. He is here see!"

I looked over the other side of the bed. Kendall stood there. He looked awful. He had a black eye. It didn't look as if he had slept for a year.

I was confused. What had happened to him... what had happened to me.

"James whats wrong with me?" I felt scared.

"Kendalls going to fill you in Sheri" James said. He eyed kendall in a vicious way.

I looked at kendall. His clear green eyes looked almost transparent .

"Sheriden. You... you have just come out of a coma. It's been 3 days since you came in here. You overdosed on heroin. I'm not sure why... You got scared because it came out about the baby." Kendall held my other hand with both of his.

I lay in the bed and the memories started coming back. The baby and kacey. Kendall on top of paisley. All the crying I did. And injecting the heroin.

"I'm so sorry" I said. Tears ran down my face.

"Sheriden it wasn't your fault. It was mine. I handed an ex user heroin. That was stupid. I could of killed you". Kendalls voice was so low and sad. But his tone sounded rehersed, like a line from a show. Like he had planned what to say.  
It wasn't him.

I looked at James  
"It's not his fault. It's not and I won't have you blame him" James didn't say a word.

"I've got to go now sheriden" kendall kissed me on the head.

He walked to the door  
"I love you. I'm sorry" he added, as I watched him leave the room I saw him fall in to paisley petrellis' arms sobbing.

The door closed.

"James what have I done?" I wiped my face.

"You just need to get better sheriden" he rested his head on my arm.

"I love you so much" he added.

"I love you too" I patted down his hair with my other hand as his head rested on my arm.

As I became more with it. More things came back to me.  
James filled me in on gaps, like kacey being proven a liar because kendall spoke the truth on tv.  
James was told I should be home in no time if I carried on the way I was.  
He told me, not asked that once on my feet I was going to some doctor that would help straighten my head out with jay, and the baby.

James told me things with kendall will straighten out. But big time rush may not have a future.  
My heart sank to my stomach at those words.  
But again tiredness swept me away.

The next morning I felt a lot more like me.I could sit up but was a bit shaky on my legs.  
My blood pressure had returned to almost normal.  
The doctors were pleased enough that I would be allowed home soon.

The thought of going back there filled me with dread. I didn't want to go back.

"What's up Sheri" James asked as I got given the all clear.

"I can't do it. I can't go back there" I shook my head.

James carefully nudged me up on my hospital bed and sat next to me. He lifted his feet up and put his arm around me.

"Sheriden"he drew the word out.  
"James?" I replied.

"If you don't want to go home. You can stay at my house... I was thinking maybe we could make it a permenant thing?"

"You want us to move in together?" My voice sounded more sceptical than I meant it to.

"Yeah... I thought we could give it a go. If you dont want to that's still cool. We can do what feels best for you".

"James I would love to move in with you"

"But?" James asked with a frown.

"No buts. I love you James.I'm sorry for being so selfish and ending up in here. I'm so sorry"

"I love you too. Don't be sorry. It wasn't your fault" James smiled his. amazing smile at me.


	13. Chapter 13

**paisleys story**

I walked up to to my hotel room.i had just left kendall in the cab from the ride back from the tv studio  
I was looking forward to a shower and some clean clothes.  
Amberleigh wasn't in. I checked my iPhone. She had text saying she was going out with some family. And said the news is fucked up. Nothing from Ryan though. I last spoke to him 4 days ago. He must of seen something about all this in the news surely.

Amberleigh was better off out of it all. It felt odd to be alone.  
It seemed like so long since I had spent even 5 minutes on my own.

The shower felt good. Cleansing my body of all the horrible things it had seen and heard in the last 2 days.

I was tired. I looked in the mirror as I brushed out my long black hair. I couldn't be bothered to blow dry it. So I put it in a braid, and slumped in to my bed.  
I wondered how sheriden and James were.  
I hoped kendall would be okay on his own. I can't believe he gave sheriden the drugs.  
And kacey. Why, kacey? I wondered where she was now. I thought she was my friend.

I went to bed it was just past midday but my head had had enough of reality. I needed to recharge my batteries.

The door knocked before I could even close my eyes. I looked through the peep hole.  
Ryan!

I opened it up. Ryan stood there. He towered over me. Nearing on 6ft3 to my 5ft5 frame.  
His face was expressionless.  
Ryan is handsome. He is tall dark and very handsome.  
His African American skin was clear and smooth. It looked like he needed a shave though.

I hadn't seen him for 3 weeks.

"Did you want to come in?" I asked him.

"Is he here?" was all Ryan said

"Is who here?" I asked, knowing he meant kendall.

"Schmidt" he spat at me.

"No Ry' he isn't here. It's all a misunderstanding"

Ryan walked in to the room.  
"Get him here"

"What?" I replied.

"Get him here or I will find out where he is. He is all in the papers, it won't take me long"

I got my phone and rang kendalls number from my call history when he rang me in the club.

"Hi paisley... you ok?" Kendall sounded gruff. I thought maybe he had been crying again.

"Hi... yeah I'm... okay. Listen something has come up, and I was wondering if you could come round.

"What is it? You sure your okay?" He sounded exhausted. He could so do with not getting involved in my mess.

I looked at Ryan. This was only going to end with an arguement and me being single even if kendall did explain.

"Kendall... I'm sorry don't worry... try and get some sleep you sound beat"

Ryan looked at me his eyes furious.

"Paisley what's going on?"kendall asked down the phone.

Ryan walked towards me. I Hung up.

"Why did you do that?" Ryan shouted.

"Because he has more important things to deal with Ryan" I kept my voice calm.

"I don't care that his ex killed his kid, and I don't care that she tried to kill herself. I care what went on with him and you. He should be man enough to tell me himself"

"Ryan look I know your angry at me but honestly. Its not how you..." Ryan grabbed my phone and threw it across the room.  
It was totalled.

"Paisley we are finished" came the words I didn't want to hear.

"No... ry' please babe. I love you".

"Love me? Love me?... you used me paisley"

"I didn't, it was one mistake" i pleaded

"I gave you everything I could pais. I knew this singing shit would finish us up"

"Singing shit? I wanted to follow my dreams Ryan! It's not shit. Just coz I don't want to spend the rest of my god damn life in reno stuck in that tiny house"

"That tiny house is the only home you have paisley. I hope Schmidt is ready to have a house guest, you ain't welcome back at mine"

"Ryan please, you can't do this I love you... I'm sorry"

The door knocked.  
Ryan walked straight over to it and opened it.  
Kendall stood there.

"Oh look pais its your boyfriend" as soon as kendall walked in the door Ryan took a swing at him. Caught him square in the face.

"Ryan! No!" I tried to pull Ryan back. But he pushed me to the floor like a rag doll.  
Ryan laughed, and looked at kendall as he tried to wipe blood from his face.

"You can pick ya shit up from my yard pais" Ryan said to me still looking at kendall.

"Ryan please. Don't do this" I started to cry.

"Ryan? Right?" Kendall said

"Fuck off mate. Your not the first to end up like that" Ryan said to kendall, and kendall looked to me.

"Ryan everything that happened was my fault, paisley just got caught up in something" kendall caught his breath from the shock of being hit. He was bent over with one hand on his knee and the other on his face.

Ryan ignored kendall.

"Get ya stuff by Sunday or I'll burn it" Ryan said to me. He walked over to a bacardi bottle that was half full after mine and Amberleighs drunken night in.  
He swigged out of the bottle.

"Pais cmon, get dressed. Your coming back to mine" kendall said.

I looked up at him from the floor.  
"No" I replied

"Move!" Kendall yelled at me.  
I got dressed there and then. This wasn't a time for modesty.

Ryan just sat in a chair looking at us with a smirk on his face and taking gulps of bacardi.

Kendall grabbed what ever he thought may be mine and shoved it in a bag.

We left Ryan in the room. Kendall spoke to reception before we left the hotel.  
I presumed he advised security to escort Ryan from the building.

Then he got on his phone and talked to someone about what had just happened in the room with Ryan. Kendall ended the phone chat with "ten minutes".

He lead me by the hand to his car.

"Are you okay?" I sniffed out through the tears.

"I'm fine" was his reply

"Kendall what's happening in ten minutes?"

"I'm going to have to press charges on Ryan pais'" he glanced at me.

"No you can't. It wasn't him kendall! he isnt really like that" I pushed him as I lost the plot.

"Paisley listen. If I end up with a black eye. Who do you think people will point the finger at"

"Ryan!" I answered

"No not Ryan, Ryan is a nobody. They will think its James"

I thought about what kendall had just said. It did make sense.  
"But Ryan..." I started.

"I'm sorry paisley" he finished.

I looked out my window watching the streets go bye. Tears running down my face. If I had my phone I would tell Ryan to run.

We got to kendalls house there where 3 people waiting outside his home.  
I hoped they wernt journalists. I got closer, realising one was a cop.

Kendall knew the other two. We went inside and sat down in the living room.  
The police man introduced himself, and kendall introduced the two other men. One was Scott bridges his publicist and the other mark Norman. Kendalls lawyer.

Jesus what was going to happen to Ryan.  
Kendall looked at me and gave me his everything is fine smile.  
A picture was taken of kendalls face and a statement taken from both him and I of what had just happened.  
The cop left after he had all the details, saying he will be in contact soon.

Scott and mark stayed.

"Pais you look tired. Did you wanna get ya head down for a bit" kendall hinted for me to leave the room, so I went up the first flight of stairs in to kendalls bedroom.

I stood by the door to try and listen in on kendalls conversation.

"Suing kacey delta for libel will be easy. You have proof of the fact that her statement is lies.  
If sheriden Lloyd came on board after recovery you could both finish kacey delta off for good". Came the voice from mark the lawyer.

So kendall wanted revenge on kacey. He was gonna sue her for slander.

"How does it all work then?" I heard kendall ask.

"It will be very straightforward kendall. She will get issued with papers and will have to attend court. That's if court is the way you want to go?"

"Yes it is... I want to make this as public and painful for her as I can". Kendall replied.

the lawyer continued "From the defamation accusation and the financial loss that both you and miss Lloyd would have lost from part ownership in your record company, kacey delta will be ruined."

"What is the standard of compensation for the damages for kendall alone" asked Scott.

"That's for the court to decide, it would be hard to give a figure, but if sheriden Lloyd also made a case against delta after the trauma it has cost her, I expect the figure will be in the millions" the lawyer finished. He sounded smug.

"So what do I need to do now?"  
Kendall asked the lawyer.

"Get your paperwork sorted, with proof of the financial loss that will incur from the record label, and you will need to write a statement of the emotional distress from miss lloyds medical emergency that you alone suffered. I will send the final documents out for you to sign, then we can go after kacey delta".

"Thankyou mark. You have been a great help to me". I heard kendall and his guests move. I presumed they were ready to leave.

I got in to kendalls bed. It smelt like him, like his hair. It was nice.  
I heard footsteps come up, I closed my eyes pretending to be asleep.

Kendall sat on the edge of his bed.

"I'm so sorry pais" he whispered. Then lay down next to me.

I stayed with my eyes shut. I think kendall must of fallen to sleep.  
His cell ringing made us both jump.

He answered it.

"Hey" he answered with.

"Really. Thank god... that's brilliant"

"Why is he?"

"Ok"

"Ok"

"Thanks logan"

"Yeah you too bud... bye"

Kendall looked at me.

"She is awake... Sheridens awake" he smiled.

"That's good to hear, I told you she will be fine" I rubbed the jeans he wore as assurance.

"James is on his way here. He wants to talk to me" the tone in kendalls voice turned from joy to uncertainty.

I rubbed my eyes. What more drama could possibly happen I thought.

james arrived at the town house about 15 minutes after the phonecall from logan.

kendall let him in with out a greeting, unsure of the reason for the visit after the words they had last exchanged at hospital.

"sheriden was awake, but feeling confused at the moment" james started the conversation.

"can i see her please james" kendall replied, his voice low and calm.

"thats why im here. she spoke to logan and got herself worked up because she believes something bad has happened to you. she had to be sedated for her own good"

"what? why does she think somethi..." james interupted kendalls question.

"she cant remember what happened to her... i think that you should be the one to tell her kendall. it was your fault after all" james sounded so up his own arse

"hang on a minute james!" i said

"this has nothing to do with you paisley" james dismissed me as if i was a fly buzzing around his head.

" no james" i was shouting now " you can fuck right off with your accusations, i am sick of all of this shit... kendall has been working so hard to do right by you and sheriden, he never told her to take it. it was sheriden that told him not to. what do you think sheriden is going to say when she can remember everything thats happened huh!"

"pais!" kendall tried to calm me down.

"kendall no. ive had it up to here with all this bull shit. your all as bad as each other. no one is innocent in any of from that poor baby. do you have any idea what kendall has gone through. he saved your girlfriends life james! he has just had his lawyer round here ready to sue kacey for all the shit she has caused him and sheriden. and thats not to mention that mine and amberleighs hopes and dreams have been destroyed by the goings on of what you kendall and sheriden have been up to. i have no home, no family and no job... because of you 3"

i slumped on the sofa crying. kendall sat next to me and put an arm over me, but i shrugged it off.

"james like it or not sheriden isnt going to blame kendall for anything, you know that. pushing him away will only make her run to him more" my words where broken but they were true.

james sat down on the opposite sofa. his head in his hands.  
"i thought she was going to die" james croaked out

"james she is going to be fine now though" kendall offered .

james looked at kendall then looked to me.

"she will be awake again in the morning. if you could come down then you can see her and explain... i dont have it in me to tell her."

james stood up to leave

"james!" kendall called after him "i will tell her tomorrow, then that will be the last time i will see her. i think its well over due that finally happened" kendalls voice was thick with emotion.

james gave a nod then left. i dont think thats what james wanted.

kendall and i sat in an awkward silence as our heads whirled with thoughts we had no idea what to do with.

"can i borrow your phone?" i asked kendall

"sure" he replied

reluctantly i had to phone my mother and explain everything that had happened. i had no where to stay, and no life to speak of, i had put all my eggs in the same basket. i had nothing left now.

my mother gave me the "i told you so" speach but she agreed i could stay with her untill i found a job and a new place.

"was that your mom?" kendall asked as i handed the phone back.

"yeah she said i can stay with her for a while, im going back to reno tomorrow"

"tomorow? thats quick"

"no need to hang about really is there?"

kendall had a breif think about what i would possibly stay in LA for, no kandy teaze, no record deal, no nothing. he must of came to the same conclusion as i had.

"did you want to see sheriden before you go?" kendall asked

"no...i dont think i will be needed at her bedside kendall"

"okay... would you come to the hospital with me though pais?" kendall re phrased his question

i looked at him. he looked so done in.

"sure, ok" i added.

"how are you getting back to reno?"

"i have no idea at the moment" i smiled at myself for the ridiculous situation all of this had become. ryan was right, all of my dreams were never going to be anything except dreams.

"i will drive you" kendall offered

i laughed at him.  
"kendall its an 8 hour drive"

"yeah thats cool, i got time on my hands at the moment" he gave me a forced smile.

"can i stay here tonight?" i asked.

"course" he replied.

we spent the evening watching old nicholas cage movies. we didnt talk about the last few days. we just chatted about anything but.

"so tomorrow i will be back to paisley prince" i laughed

"what do you mean?" kendall looked at me puzzled.

"petrelli isnt my real name, my crazy agent made me take it on, she said it will advertise my italian look before anyone had even seen me" i chuckled at the memory.

"really?" kendall laughed to himself "paisley prince has a good ring to it too" he added

"yeah i preferred prince" i admitted "the things you do for fame huh"

kendall sighed "yup" he shook his head "i wonder where kacey is?"

"i dunno... she was so normal before we came here, it was like she changed overnight" i rolled my eyes at the thought of kacey delta.

"cmon, bed time i think" kendall checked the time then lifted me over his shoulder like a fireman would and carried me up the stairs.

i screamed out a laugh. "put me down" i joked

he did put me down on his bed.

"bathroom is through there if you need it" he pointed to his ensuite with a smile on his face

i just looked at kendall thoughtfully. then he clicked his door shut as he left and i heard his foot steps go down the stairs.

the next morning i woke up and kendall had prepared a massive breakfast. he must of been awake for hours preparing all of it.

"eat up" he said "we have a long drive ahead of us later"

"thanks" i replied. i couldnt rememeber the last time i ate properly.

"how do you feel about seeing sheriden today? you didnt mean what you said yesterday to james did you" i asked.

kendalls face fell  
"i think its best if i stay away from her. james is right i dragged all this up, if i hadnt of gotten carried away with my own issues then sheriden would be still at home doing her own thing. instead of stuck in that hospital "

"kendall you cant think like that" i protested his reasons.

"it will be fine" he said with a fake smile.

i knew it wouldnt be. i wish kendall didnt have the feelings he had for sheriden.

we got to the hospital just before 10am, sheriden was still asleep when kendall went in. already his tears had started just looking at her. he had to step out the room .

"i cant do this pais" he sobbed.

"you can, just do what you came to do. i know it looks bad but she is fine. okay" i gave him a smile then urged him back in the room.

i waited out side the room, i could hear voices now so i presumed sheriden was awake, but i couldnt work out what was being said.

after a few minutes the door opened. kendall spoke his last words to sheriden  
"i love you. im sorry" .

his tears came so hard, i went to him and held him.

"shhh, cmon everything will be fine" i promised him.

i sat kendall down on a chair and talked him through what was going to happen

"right mister. we are going to get in that car and get on our road trip to reno. we are gonna stop off and get a huge pizza for dinner and find some shitty motel and get totally pissed okay.

kendall wiped his face. he smiled at me.

"thank you pais... for being here"

i just smiled back at him. his eyes looked beautiful even with the purple bruise that now tried to take over his face.

kendall grabbed my hand and kissed it.

i pulled him up.

"cmon, i need to get the rest of my stuff from the hotel and say bye to amberleigh."


	14. Chapter 14

**paisleys story**

  
amberleigh still wasnt back in the hotel. i picked up the remainders of my phone. hopefully the sim would be okay, it looked unscathed.

i wrote a note to amberleigh just incase. i said ive gone home and i will be in touch

i grabbed my things and went out to kendalls car.

to start off with the atmosphere inside the car could be cut with a knife. kendalls troubles still seemed to out weigh my own.

"we have done everything in our power to make things right. everything else is in gods hands now kendall" more words of wisdom came from me in the hope i could snap kendall out of his depression.

"i know pais... i know" he gave me in return.

i flicked through some of his cd's he had in the disc changer, i came across the red hot chilli peppers. and sang my heart out. eventually kendall joined in. we had fun doing that. often we would end up in giggles for not knowing the correct lyric to the song.

"you are an amazing singer pais" kendall complimented me

"not so bad yourself" i gave him a nudge and a smile.

"so why dont you get on with your mom?" he asked

"boyfriends and drinking come first to her" i looked out my window at the scenery as i spoke.

"sorry to hear that!" kendall gave me a side ways glance.

"ah it happenes huh" i shrugged my shoulders.

"yeah i guess it does. what are you going to do when you get home then, any ideas?" kendall tried to lift the mood.

"well i used to life guard at my local pool. used to coach the kids in swimming too, i will probably go and visit my agent. try something different to kandi teaze" i smiled at the memorys of my easier life i had left behind.

"swimming huh? thats cool" kendall returned my smile

"what about you, what will you do?" i asked him.

"i have no idea... im under contract with big time rush for another 5 months. i cant really see it going any further than that now. too much water under the bridge" he raised his eyebrows as he decided the fate of his beloved band.

"well when one door closes another opens, isnt that what they say?" i tried to cheer him up.

"yup thats what im told. its been fun though, i love all those guys... even james" he laughed at himself.

"he is hot though right" i laughed at my own joke and kendall nudged me in the ribs with a smile on his face.

"you know what pais... i feel ive known you forever. i think your the best mistake ive made in the last few days. you make it all worthwhile" he glanced at me again and gave a smile as he drove.

"everything happens for a reason remember" i replied.  
i could feel kendalls eyes on me again even though i wasnt looking at him.

we hadnt talked about our random sex session since the night it had happened.

"i am sorry for... " he couldnt think of a polite word

"seducing me" i offered with a smile.

"seducing, yes. well i am sorry for that" his faced flushed a little.

"its okay... it was... good" i laughed then looked out the window with a silly grin on my face in the hope he couldnt see it.

"good huh? ... well thats better than nothing" he laughed this time.

"do you think ryan will forgive you" kendalls tone changed back to serious.

"i doubt it" i rolled my eyes at the thought of seeing ryan again.

"what did he mean by i wasnt the first to end up being hit?" kendall slowed the car for a red light.

"he... thinks i mess him about. but i dont. you were the third guy ive ever... you know, done it with" i blushed at my confession.

"was ryan not the father of your baby then?" kendall looked at me as we waited for the green light.

"no... i used to see this guy from school. but after the abortion it kind of scared me to have sex. it took me a while to get it on with ryan" as i spoke i looked kendall in the eye. it was really easy to talk to him.

"what about you" i added "you must be in the hundreds or thousands by now?" i joked

"what notches on my bed post?" he grinned.

"yeah?" i smiled back, the light turned green and kendall put the car in motion.

"hardly" he laughed "i do believe you are number 4"

"4? your lying kendall"

kendall laughed. "honestly! i had my first proper girlfriend when i was 17, i was with her til i was 20. then of course sheriden, i wouldnt really count the girl in vancouver but it happened so i guess i have to, then you" he made his case clear.

"so how come you dont want to count the canadian girl but you count me?" i asked puzzled.

kendall thought for a minute.

"i wasnt drunk when we did it. i wanted to" was his reply

"just to annoy sheriden? like the canadian one though?" i retorted, my voice semi comical.

"no. your hot pais... check you out!" he laughed "even in the restaurant that night i thought about what you might... be like" kendalls face went bright red.  
so did mine.

"so you do like me... did like me?" i asked.

"course" he smiled.

"so you have any decent cheesy songs in here we can sing along too?" i changed the subject.

"here you go" he handed me his phone. " the usb is in the glove box... all the cheese your heart desires on that" he laughed again.

i plugged his iphone in to the car stereo. some of his music he had on here was awful. i came across some eminem, we rapped out the bits we knew. it was funny. nice to relax in a good environment for a change. the last few days had been so shit.

"kendall?"

"yup?" he replied nodding his head along to the beat of the music.

"do you feel relieved in a way that all your baby news came out? i mean you can talk about it til your blue in the face now" i looked out my passenger window.

"yeah. i had an awkward chat with my mom the other day though. she was fuming that i hadnt told her" kendall smiled as he said it.

"why so funny?" i asked.

"my mom hated sheriden. she said she would ruin me. always listen to your mother huh!" he laughed

"why did she hate her?"

"she said she was too famous, too old, and too... damaged. i think is the polite way to put it" kendall still had the odd grin on his face.

"do you think it will be easy to not see her anymore?" i asked cautiously.

kendall smiled "yeah shouldnt be too bad, after all, the trips to reno will keep me busy" he winked at me.

i shook my head and smiled.

"i wanna get back to how i used to be you know pais'... i used to be so carefree, but then life grabs you by the balls and sucks you in" the smile on his face faded.

"yeah i know what you mean" i agreed.

i searched for more songs through the iphone.

"really?" i mocked as the spice girls came on.

kendall burst out laughing.

"so you still want pizza?" he asked.

"yeh i sure do" i rubbed my hungry tummy

"and what about the sleazy motel and booze?" kendall smiled

i laughed out loud

"whats so funny?" kendall mused.

"kendall i didnt say sleazy motel, i said shitty motel" i smiled at him as his face flushed red at his mistake.

"you know what i meant" he chuckled.

"and its a good job i do" i giggled

he laughed to himself.

"pais?" kendall drew my name out

"yeh?" i turned to look at him, he had a smile on his face still.

"you wont go to the papers and tell them i bought you booze will you?" he chuckled

"your an idiot" i smiled back at him.

we came across a ton of sleazy motels much to kendalls amusement but we finally settled on one that was mid range. it was still awful, i would think kendall had never been in such a terrible room, even before he found fame.  
the room had two grotty looking beds that had been pushed together, the ceiling looked like once it may have been white, but it definatly wasnt now. the curtains where yellowed and torn.

we looked at each other and laughed.  
"what do you want on the pizza" kendall asked

"everything. im sooo hungry" i replied.

"okay cool, a girl after my own heart" he smiled "you still want drinks pais?" he squinted his eyes at me.

"yeh i do" i smiled at him.

"okay cool, well i will be back in a while. you er... " he looked around the horrid room again "make yourself at home" he winked at me and left the room.

i lay on the bed and looked up to the stained ceiling. well pais your definately back in reality i thought to myself.  
the drive up here had been great though. i really did like kendall. maybe if things had of been different then we may of got together somewhere down the line.  
kendall was right. life did suck you in. i didnt think i would be crawling out of what i had been sucked in to anytime soon.

i was determined to enjoy my last night of the celebrity life with my famous roomy.  
its such a shame he is so broken.

kendall was amazing. and gorgeous, even with his bruised face.

i decided to have a shower and get in my pyjamas to avoid any awkwardness later.  
the shower was... well, shit, it was more of a dribble than a shower. never the less i still had a good sing along and lathered my self up.

"pais?" i heard kendall call.

"yeah? im in the shower"

"okay. well pizza and ... refreshments are back" i heard him have a little chuckle.

"okay il be right out" i called.

as i stepped out the shower i must of tripped over the ledge, but i ended up as a heap on the floor.

kendall opened the door

"shit! you okay?" he asked trying not to look at my nakedness

"erm yeah i think so. i tripped" i blushed, and kendall offered me my towel.

"your head is bleeding pais" kendall pointed to where he could see a small cut.

i wrapped myself up in the towel and looked at my head in the mirror

"fuck sake" i scorned myself.

"come here, ill do it" kendall pulled me out of the bathroom and sat me on the bed.

he went out side our room, i heard his car open and close then he came back in brandishing a first aid kit.

"here you go" he said with a smile.

kendall cleaned the cut with a sterile wipe. it stang and i winced at him.

"sorry" he said "its only tiny, i think you will survive" he gave me a smile.

"thanks" i said

sitting next to kendall on that bed like that with his face so close to mine, only one natural action occured to me.  
i really wanted to kiss him.  
but only one natural action occured to kendall too.

"pizza time" he announced  
he smiled. the look on my face must of given me away.

"come on pais get dressed" he winked again at me,  
i went back in to the bathroom where my pyjamas were and changed in to them.

"well i got a huge pizza with pretty much everything on it, and i got some vodka and a bottle of coke" i could hear the grin in his voice all the way from the bathroom.

i walked back in to where he had laid the food out. kendall was pouring us both what looked like a triple vodka and coke.

"you did well on your shopping spree then" i mocked him "are you trying to get me drunk on the first drink?"

"why would i want to do that?" he asked with a grin i had seen before.

i sat next to him on the bed

"kendall... ive got a problem..." my voice serious now.

"whats up?" kendalls tone now matched my own

"if i drink that then there is a very high possibility i will try and fuck you tonight" my eyes squinted at my vulgar phrasing.

"and if you dont drink it?" kendall replied, a small smile danced on his lips.

"i think, then that i will try... and make love to you" i just sat there and wished the world to swallow me whole again.

kendall stared at me, all traces of the smile had vanished. had i overstepped the mark of honesty? i should of just kept my mouth shut.

"well pais i guess theres only one thing to do then huh" kendall said seriously.

"whats that?" i whispered

"not to drink it" he replied then leaned in to kiss me.

i welcomed his lips on mine, i had forgotton how soft they felt. i folded my arms around his neck, he felt strong. i layed down and pulled him with me. we kissed for ages. it was beautiful.  
he was so different to the time he ravished me in my hotel room. this kendall that was kissing me now was caring, and good.

"pais?" kendall pulled away from our kiss "i really like you okay, im not doing this for any other reason" his honesty was welcomed just as much as his kiss.

"i know" i replied then pulled him down for another kiss.

i freed myself from kendalls kisses briefly enough to undress. i was kneeling on the bed beside him. he liked what he saw. his large soft hands carressed my breasts. it felt nice. he wasnt rushing me. i was so glad i told him my fears over sex on the way up here.

i pulled at the belt on his jeans and then slid it out before undoing his fly and releasing his erection in to the room. i kissed his chest, remembering the last time how he had pleasured me with his tongue.

i worked my kisses down lower. i teased him with my tongue, running it down his length. i felt my insides moisten. kendall gave out a small moan of pleasure. i loved his noises that he made, they were raw and from deep inside him.

kendall swept his fingers across my thigh as i pleasured him, i could feel his fingers run across my clitorous. my heart pounded.

kendall pulled me away gently from him and laid me down on the bed, my damp hair gave off the smell of my floral shampoo i had just used. kendall swept my hair back from my face and kissed me before taking his shirt off and freeing himself of his jeans.

his hands cupped one of my breasts as he guided it in to his mouth.  
it felt so good, shivers ran down my spine.

i pulled him nearer to me, i wanted him now. right this minute. he entered me with ease. the feel of him penetrating me was even more delicious than the last time, slow and seductive was definately for me. i could feel every inch of him move inside me.

i could feel my orgasm building up. kendall smiled then pulled himself from me. my body was so close to releasing the pleasure he was inflicting on me, but kendall hadnt finished yet. he kissed my neck, and ran his fingers down my spine. being very careful not to put his tip near me. the thought of it turned me on even more.

his kisses travelled down my side. he carefully turned me over, i was now on my knees. and he was behind me, kendall ran his fingers over my cliterous again, he slipped a finger inside me, gently massaging me with more pleasure.

he loved the way i felt, he loved touching me. he felt my breasts with his other hand before removing his fingers from inside me. he then entered me again from behind. this time the feeling was more intense. feeling his body move against mine, and hearing his noises filled with pleasure almost sent me to seventh heaven but kendall still wasnt done.

there was no way i was believing him on being his number 4. he was a sex god, i had decided that for certain.  
kendall turned me again on my back. he smiled at me. never before had i felt so much love and care come out from someone when i had slept with them.

his soul goal was to pleasure me, he loved it. he enjoyed exploring my body and hearing my pleasure escape from my mouth.

he was on top of me again and was inside me moving slowly. he was close now, i could tell. i let my body relax in the knowledge that soon kendall would send me away to bliss. and soon enough it came.

kendall had a shower and i got in to bed, picking at the pizza while i waited for him. i hoped to god that he would still be in the same mood when he came out and not change like he did in my hotel room just a few nights ago.

he came in to the room donning just a pair of boxers. he looked hot.

he crawled on to the bed and settled down under the covers with me.  
i looked at him. trying to fathom out his mood.

"pais, this is no good" he finally said

i looked at him. eyes wide and fear began to sink in.

"the pizza is cold" he finished with a smile.  
i shook my head then gave him a hard nudge in the ribs.

"dont do that" i moaned "i thought you had gone all odd again then"

he laughed and we ate pizza in bed til we couldnt move.

"im never eating again" i joked

"thats good saves me money on oversized pizzas in the future then!" kendall chuckled.

"kendall is this just a one off?" my voice whispered the words out.

he looked at me and pulled me in to his arms then kissed my forehead.  
"i dont want it to be pais" he answered.

"reno is a long way away" he added.

"yup" i agreed.

"i will sort something out pais" .

"what do you mean?" i asked

he sighed. "im not sure yet but i will, i promise you"

"pais can i ask you something a bit personal?" he smiled again.

"course, anything?" i replied.

"there not real are they?" his grin widened.

i guessed he was talking about my boobs. "no they are not real. but they are big" i confessed. "you not like fakes?"

"i like them" he laughed.  
i shook my head at his now caveman like conversation.

"you wanna drink this vodka with me then?" i asked him

"sure why not?" he smiled.

the evening mostly consisted of me and kendall doing karioke to the songs on his iphone. i enjoyed every second. it was fun. he was fun. i hoped that this was the kendall he used to be, and i was helping him to be it again. i fell to sleep in his arms. trying my hardest to stay awake to make the night last longer.


	15. Chapter 15

**sheridens story.**

as we left the hospital i was filled with so many different emotions. relief, fear, guilt, hate and love, to name a few.

"i went to yours this morning and got a load of your clothes and other stuff" james informed me

"thanks" i replied.

"are you sure you dont want to go back, its tidy and... well you know" he squeezed my leg.

"i cant james, not just yet, i will when im ready to sell it" james turned to look at me.

"you sure you want to sell up?" he asked.

"yeah im sure. new house new start" i smiled at him

"okay baby" he smiled back at me.

the drive back to james' seemed longer than it should have been but eventually we arrived. i stepped in to the modern looking bungalow.  
i smiled at james. he had filled the place with fresh flowers, he knows how i love the smell.

"wheres the dogs?" i asked him

usually i had been mobbed by them by now.

"they are staying with uncle carlos for a bit, just untill you are settled" he grinned at me.

"james you didnt have to do that, they are your babies" i walked in to the bedroom as i told james off for his abandonment of his dogs.

james followed me in and layed on the bed, he crossed his arms over the back of his head.  
"just thought it be easier" he yawned at me.

"what are you doing today? do you have to be anywhere?" i asked him

"well i was meant to be at the studio today but im one band member short of a group, and two business partners down in a record label" james looked at me lovingly to get the point of his sarcasm across so not to offend me.

"why two short for record label? im still in. has kendall quit?" we hadnt talked about the record label for days, since the night we all went out for dinner to meet up.

"sheriden, your not really in though are you? your gonna be getting your head sorted for a while before i even let you so much as lift a pen up" james smiled at me.

"im fine james, dont piss me off by taking things aways from me" i didnt return his smile.

"im not taking anything away, i just want you to take it easy. you have been through so much. besides there is nothing to do at the studio without a band huh." he kept his smile.

i crawled on to the bed and in to his arms, he unfolded them from behind his head and held me tightly.

"i can fix it" i promised him.

"it cant be fixed sheriden. it needs to start from scratch" he kissed my head.

"you never said about kendall" i asked "has he just abandoned it then?" i looked up at james.

"i havent heard from him sheriden, to be honest its not exactly great between us right now" he confessed.

"well you can sort it out james. i am not being the reason that everything falls to bits with you, i know you blame him for the drugs..." he cut me off.

"sheri i dont blame him... i mean i did at first, but paisley kind of made me see sense"

"paisley? why was paisley talking to you about kendall?" i asked as i sat up and faced him.

"paisley was there with me, and kendall when we found you. kendall gave you first aid, paisley rang for help... i didnt do anything, i just sat there, i couldnt move. they came to the hospital to see you but i said to kendall he wasnt welcome in our lives anymore. next thing i know kendall is on tv prooving kacey a liar with a picture of the baby, i went round to see him to have a go at him, to say its him that can tell you what he had made you do... but paisley said all the things that kendall had done... do you know he is suing kacey for libel? he sorted all that out in 24 hours and all i could do was sit there and watch you ... on the floor. jesus why did you do that?" james pulled his knees up to his chest.  
he reminded me of myself.

"james im so sorry. i dont know why i did it. i felt cornered. i wanted to escape" i looked at james.

"... sheriden did you want to kill yourself?" obviously james had wanted to ask this question for a number of days.

"no, i didnt mean to OD. I promise you. i just took it to take the pain away. thats the thing about shit like that, no one can tell when its too much... james are you going to leave me?"

"no... no way! course im not, jesus that hadnt even crossed my mind sheriden. ive never been so scared in my life. i felt for sure that was it, you know. i thought you were dead... i wanted to be dead"

"dont ever say shit like that james. it was a stupid stupid mistake, it was my own fault, nothing to do with kendall or kacey. if i had of taken the time to talk about stuff when it happened then i wouldnt get so emotional" i wiped a few stray tears from my face.

"i never want to be with out you sheriden" james put his legs down and placed his hands over mine.

"you wont be. coz im not gonna let you go ever, we are gonna grow old, and have a million babies and i will still be so inlove with you when your hair falls out and your face is as wrinky as mine" i laughed.

"your face isnt that wrinkly" he smiled  
i gave him a pretend slap.

james looked at me with his american smile beaming " a million kids huh?" he chuckled.

"maybe not a million" i raised an eyebrow to him.

"we gonna make it though arn't we sheriden. me and you... its for keeps yeah?" a serious smile came over james' adonis face.

"its for keeps baby". i leant over and gave him a kiss. "you wanna just chill out here for a bit, you look like you havn't slept for ages" i layed back down on the bed in to james' chest.

"that sounds great" he smiled again and pulled me in for a hug. i lay there with my eyes closed just thinking for a few minutes.

"james, was it you that gave kendall the black eye?" i asked.

"no, i dont know how that happened. i will call him later. he is the last little crease in all this i need to fold out. he said some stuff the other day that im hoping he didnt mean" james lay with his eyes shut still, his voice sleepy and calm.

"what did he say?"

"ah it doesnt matter i will sort it baby" james yawned.

i opened an eye to see if his were still closed. they were. i layed next to james looking at his beautiful face until i could tell he had fallen to sleep, his breathing got heavier after a few minutes. i slowly slipped myself out from his arms and got up from the bed.  
i felt tired but i knew i would just be laying there thinking of all the bad things that had happened. i had a walk around james' bungalow.  
james was so romantic putting all the flowers around the place. the bungalow was large, the living area was smaller than my own,but the kitchen was bigger than mine had been. it has an oversized breakfast bar with 6 stalls stood beside it, the kitchen lead out to a large sun room which opened up to a garden filled with trees and a largeish pond at the side. james said there was fish in the pond but i had never seen any, i think they must of all died from shock when the dogs started jumping in.

i hunted my lap top out from some of the belongings that james had brought round from my house for me, i sat it up on the breakfast bar and sat down.

i hadnt seen any papers or news on the tv since that fateful day in my bathroom, i guessed now was as good a time as ever.

what i read wasnt so bad. most was the truth actually. kendall had done a huge greatness by going on tv. i signed in to twitter, all the comments i had recieved where full of support and love. i didnt scroll down too far just incase i found some hateful ones.

i decided to tweet

**SheridenLloyd **_Home safe with **jamesmaslow** . thank you everyone for you love and support. i have made huge mistakes but the ppl in my life amaze me_xxx

i stared at the screen for a while reading some of the new tweets that came in for me. carlos being the twitter hound that he was made a joke at my expense.

**thecarlospena **_the lengths **SheridenLloyd** will go to for a long nap ;-)_

bloody carlos, he is a nightmare! i couldnt wait to see him though, and logie and kendall. i hoped kendall was okay. he seemed so emotional that day at the hospital. he told me he loved me. why would he say in front of james. i hope he wasnt doing anything silly.

i checked my work emails, there was plenty that i could be getting on with at the modelling agency.  
i had a charity gala to finish organising too. i wasnt sure if i would be attending it though, it was only a week away. the sheriden lloyd foundation - a charity that i set up three years ago to help spinal injuries and defects. i held it every year on the same date as i had my accident. doing this stopped me from moping about and being miserable. last year james and i had a rather risque picture taken and put up for auction. the picture was beautiful, james ended up getting the winning bid and giving me the picture as a birthday gift.  
he never did tell me what his maximum bid was, but the picture sold for 250.000 dollars.

i was hoping kandy teaze would do a small set at the gala with some of the slower songs they had done but no such luck now. at least i still had big time rush playing. i would have to find something to fill the slot for kandy teaze.

the door knocked.

"who is it?" i asked

"its your logie bear" a chuckle came from the other side.

i opened up and embraced logan henderson like i hadnt seen him in years.

"how are you sheriden, doing okay?" he took my face in his hands to check me over with his eyes "you look so much brighter today" he added.

"i feel a load better" i concluded.

"where is james?" logan asked scanning the room.

"he is sleeping. he looked exhausted earlier. i think he can relax more now im here with him" i ushered logan in to the kitchen and we both sat at the breakfast bar.

"yeah he didnt like to leave you in the hospital"

"how are you then? all good?" i asked, i hadnt had a good chat with logan in a long while.

"yeah all fine the gigs we did were amazing" he beamed a beautiful smile at me.

"you still single logie?" i nudged him with a small smile

"yes still single sheri?" he nodded his head in disaproval knowing i always moaned at him to find a nice girl.

"i actually came round to see if you had heard from kendall?" he added on the end before i could get going on my get a girlfriend speach.

"no i havent since yesterday, james is going to call him later. he said kendall was saying stupid things".

"well kendall was with the petrelli girl, he was taking her back to reno yesterday. but he still isnt back yet, he isnt answering his phone to me. im just worrying he is gonna get caught up in another whirlwind romance, typical kendall style and end up flat on his face. he asked me to look after his animals"

"kendall was taking paisley to reno?" i asked

"yeah she was going home, i spoke to him briefly yesterday at the hospital, but he was so tightly wound, he wasnt making much sense"

"i will get james to try paisleys' cell later, maybe he went off somewhere after he took her back?" i scratched my head wondering where he might be "logan do you know how kendall got the black eye?"

"yeah it was paisleys boyfriend. took a swing at him in the hotel apparently then dumped her, kendall is pressing charges on him"

"oh i see, the boyfriend. so you think him and paisley are together now?" i probed him further.

"i honestly dont know, they have been together since they found you pretty much, carlos said she was at his the other night, she went to the tv station with him, and he has driven her all the way to reno..."

my mind whirred, i hope paisley knew that kendall was damaged at the moment. i didnt want to see him get hurt again.

"did you want a drink or anything?" i offered logan.

"shouldnt it be me looking after you while his lordship is sleeping?" he grinned.

"i wont argue with that, my head feels a bit... odd still , but im trying to ignore it" i gave logan a forced smile, he got up from his seat and got me a glass of water.

"so whats this i hear you dont want to go home?" logan asked with seriousness.

"i just dont want to see it. me and james are... kind of moving in together now" my face gave way to a grin.

logan chuckled "i dunno! sheriden lloyd all grown up huh? are you moving in here or going to buy someplace together?"

"i know who would of thought my bachelorette days would soon be numbered. im happy to stay here. james' house is beautiful"

logan eyed the room we sat in and smiled at me.

"you wanna watch your corny dvd you love?" logan raised an eyebrow at me.

"labrynth?" i smiled. i always watched labrynth when i was feeling a bit down, usually with carlos though. im surprised the dvd still worked to be honest.

"cmon then" logan picked up my water and followed me to james' lounge. i found the dvd and we sat on the large L shaped sofa and watched.

logan laughed through most of it, taking the piss out of a very youthful looking david bowie. my body started to shiver with cold, which i think scared logan slightly. he offered to cover me with a blanket but i insisted it was probably time i fought the demons and tried to sleep.  
logan left james' house only when he knew i had everything i needed.  
he is such a great guy. i couldnt understand why he only ever held relationships for such short periods of time.

i crawled in to bed, but this time under the covers, my body had the chills like ive never known, i pressed myself up to james' body as much as i could without disturbing him.  
i finally fell to sleep.

i woke up and the time on the clock read 9:12am. how the fuck had that happened, i must of gone to bed at 4 in the afternoon yesterday.  
james had gone. im surprised he hadnt worried if i had slipped back in to a coma being asleep for so long.

i showered and dressed and went out in to the kitchen. james had left a post it note stuck on his fridge.

**sheri,  
made you a smoothy.  
drink it please!  
xoxoxox**

i opened up the fridge and found the newly made smoothy, looked like it had strawberrys in it, i couldnt tell what else.  
just as i wondered where james might be, i got my first clue given to me by a distant bark of a dog, then a minute later james walked in with fox and falco at his feet.  
i was so glad to see them. the place wasnt the same with out them here. they made it a home.

"morning baby, your looking so much better today, i only got up an hour ago, i went to see carlos and quickly went to yours, i picked your mail up"

james gave me a kiss on the lips when he finished his sentance.

"morning. what you got there then?" i took the mail from james' hands and worked my way through it. some intersting some not so. and one that was from my lawyer. it stated that kendalls lawyer had been in touch with him about his case against kacey requesting some assistance.

"the nerve of that girl" i said out loud.

"who?" james asked

"kacey, the dumbass bitch! says here that kendall has started proceedings to sue her for libel. but she is fighting it, saying that no comments were made directly about mr schmidt, so he doesnt have a case.  
she wants it to go to court to clear her name, so they are asking if i would be willing to start proceedings against her too"

"she is an idiot, everything that girl does is so she gets some money out of it" james looked over my shoulder at the letter i had in my hand

"i will take her to the fucking cleaners" my mind was set.

"woah sheriden, no. just let it go okay, kendall can sort this out, he started it, he can finish it. this could go on for months. kacey's dad is a lawyer. you dont want to get mixed up in all that. they will try everytrick in the book to win that case. you dont want your whole lifes history dragged out do you?"

i turned to look at james. he looked so delicious when he was mad.

"i dont care, im doing it. kendall saved my life you said? least i can do is save him from that bitch" i turned my head so i couldnt see his face anymore.

james walked around to face me, he rolled his eyes to say whatever.

"im gonna phone kendall" james retorted.

james got his iphone from his pocket and hit the quickdial for kendall.

"hi kendall its james, can you call me back when you get this. thanks buddy." james left his voicemail message.

"i wonder where he is?" i asked james." thats two and half days ago he left for reno" i thought for a minute "here try paisley?" i handed james my own cell with paisleys number ready to dial.

"says its turned off" james said as he took the phone from his ear.

he tried another number from my phone.

"hey amberleigh, its james maslow. ive been meaning to talk to you, just things have been a bit crazy last few days."

"yeah i know. thats fine."

"i will meet up with you soon to discuss all that, im sure we can sort something out... hey i was just wondering if you have heard from paisley?"

"yeah to reno?"

"oh i see. do you have a number for her anywhere else?"

"okay not a problem. if she does call or anything then can you let me know?"

"brilliant, thanks amberleigh. take care."

james handed my phone back to me.

"well amberleigh is still at the hotel. paisleys phone got smashed, but she left amberleigh a note saying she will be in touch with her soon. she is going to her moms"

it didnt make sense. why would kendall disapear in reno?

i called kendalls cell from my own phone maybe he will pick up for me.

it rang but it didnt answer.

"where is he?" i sighed as i looked at james.  
james had an odd look about him.

"james what did he say to you the other day?, you said you hoped he didnt mean it. he isnt going to hurt himself is he?" i thought back to the drugs i had taken from kendall.

"no, no nothing like that" james sighed "he said he was gonna stay away, that going to the hospital would be the last time you saw him, he said it was about time" james rubbed his head.

i pulled my laptop towards me from where i had left it yesterday.

"what are you doing?" james asked.

"ive got paisleys details on here, it will have her agents number, i expect she will have a contact number for us".

i phoned madeleine caddick, she had the mobile number that was now not working and the home address that paisley no longer lived at thanks to kendall.

i slammed the laptop shut.  
"you know what, im done. if he thinks he can play silly buggers and just fuck off when things get bad then sod him, thats exactly what he can do"

james took the letter from the lawyers from the breakfast bar and stuffed it back in the envelope. he smiled at me for two reasons, one that it seemed i no longer wanted to get involved in helping kendall out in court, and two i had my fight back.


	16. Chapter 16

**paisleys story**

"Paisley"  
"Pais', wake up".

I woke up to kendalls eyes looking at me from the pillow next to me.

My head hurt, far too much vodka had been consumed the previous night, and my voice sounded rough as I spoke.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked still half asleep.

" I was thinking... if you want to that is... Well I don't have to be anywhere for another 6 days, we could just stay here"

I looked at kendall Schmidt. The man who I only met less than a week ago but had now slept with twice.

I sat up. Taking in kendalls plan of action.

I looked around the grotty motel we had stayed in.  
"You want to spend a week in here" I grinned.

"Why not? Beats taking you home today... we can go someplace better if you want?"

Kendall had a look on his face like all his Christmas' had come at once. It filled my insides with butterflies.

I took another look around the room.  
"Nope, all I need is right here" I answered him.

"I've got to get my things from Ryan though. He said he will burn them" I frowned at the thought.

"Well can we fit it all in the car?" Kendall asked.

I laughed, " definately, I don't have much, just clothes and stuff"

"Ok. we will get ya stuff, take it to your moms and then find some finer temporary accomodation for us" he smiled.

"Why do we have to drop it off?" I moaned to the thought of going back to my mothers.

"Because you said you would be back yesterday. If you dont show up she will get worried"

"Kendall I doubt she will even remember my phone call let alone worry I've not shown up" I laughed at kendalls gentlemanly thoughts towards my mother.

He gave me the look to say its happening.

"Okay," I rolled my eyes at him with a defeated smile on my face.

He sat up and came towards me for a kiss.  
I hesitated for a second, but welcomed it.

"You okay?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah, course. Sorry I didn't mean to do that. Just a bit new" I smiled at him hoping i didnt offend him.

"It's cool, you just broke up with your boyfriend. I didn't mean to rush you" kendall spoke apologetically and shyed away.

"No its not that, I mean this... me and you. It's brilliant. It's just new that's all"

"Pais we can take it as slow as you like"

I smiled at him,  
"6 days of me and you then?"

He grinned at me with his beautiful eyes.

"You okay to drive then?" I asked seeing as the vodka bottle was near on empty.

"I do believe you drank most of that" he laughed.

I pushed him back down on the bed and straddled him.  
We spent several minutes kissing. His tongue teasing me inside my mouth.  
I pulled away from him and he smiled at me.

"Slow remember?" He said.

"Slow is good" I replied followed by one more kiss on his lips.

I got up, and strutted my naked self in to the bathroom. Kendall chuckled at me as I walked away teasing him with the view of my body that his new slowness rule had banned him from.

After we had both showered and dressed and spent several more minutes with our faces locked together with slow seductive finally checked out and got back in the car for the final part of the trip to reno.

"So what's on your agenda for 6 days time" I asked as we got back on the freeway.

Kendall glanced at me.  
"Got a gig for a charity gala... its kind of Sheridens thing"

"So much for staying away" I smiled at him"

"I will. But the band comes first" he kept his eyes firmly on the road.

"You should call her, to see how she is" I rubbed his leg.

"6 days pais. Just me and you. After that reality will grab my balls, but untill then..." kendall smiled.

"What's gonna happen after 6 days?"

"I'm not sure paisley. I'm sorry. Definately still see you... I mean you can drive down or get the train... can you drive?" Kendall seemed agitated after hearing sheridens name

"Yeah I can drive but I don't have a car, I sold it to get to Detroit with the girls"

"Well we will sort something out" he gave me a forced smile.

The drive only took a little over 2 hours, kendall pulled up outside ryans house.

"Do you think he is in? Kendall eyed up the the shabby looking house.

" I don't think so, his cars not there. I can see my things" I nodded at the black garbage bag on the side of the porch.

"I'll get it" kendall said then he opened the door and walked up the short path.

Seeing kendall at my former home was an odd sight. I liked him not being surrounded by the glitz and glamour of California.  
He was so normal.

Kendall chucked the bag in the trunk and got back in.

"You all right?" He asked.

"Yeh" I gave him a small smile.  
Kendall gave me a kiss.  
"Cmon let's go see ya mom"

I didn't talk apart from the odd directional turn commands. After 15 minutes we had reached my destination. It looked worse than I remembered.  
I let out a sigh. Thank god I was putting off returning here for 6 days.

The small bricked chalet style house that I grew up in looked awful. Even ryans tiny house looked more welcoming than this.  
The grass was more dead than alive. The wooden door was in dire need of stripping and painting. One of the panes of glass had been replaced by some plastic.  
I dreaded what the inside would look like.  
I dreaded what kendall must think of me right now.  
"I won't be long" I whispered, avoiding eye contact with him.

"I'll get your bag" I heard him say as I got out of the car.

Kendall got the garbage bag out the trunk for me as I got my holdall from the back seat that I had in LA.

I gave a smile but aimed it at my feet as I took the bag. I walked through the mesh gate and knocked on the door.

She answered.  
"Well here it is" my mother greeted me in a more polite way than I had expected.  
She was drunk though.12:30 in the afternoon.

"Hi mom" I whispered.

"You've got fat paisley!" She eyed me up.

"Not really, have I? I spat back."Is it okay if I stay still?"

"What happened to Ryan? he Had enough of ya'll finally?" She slurred at me.

"we broke up." I sighed. I so couldn't be arsed with this crap any more.

"Well its only the settee I have. It won't be for long will it?" My mother. Such a caring human being.

"No won't be for long. I'm just dropping this off from ryans, then I'm out of town for a few more days, so I won't be in the way untill Friday" my mother eyed up the car that was parked behind me, outside her gate.

"New one already then?" She said as she gave kendall a cross examination. Kendall had sun glasses on so he could  
View all of the goings on discreetly.

" That's just my friend" I whispered

"She will bleed you dry just like the other one" she shouted over to kendalls open window.

" shut up" I hissed at her.

Kendall pretended to not hear, but He must of.

"So can I come in?" i changed the subject to get her away from kendall.

She moved from the door and I walked in.  
The place was a mess, dirty cups, glasses, Plates scattered all over.  
Mismatched and broken furniture littered the rooms.

I put my bags in the corner of the living room and sorted some of the items out I would need to bring back out with me.

"Thanks for this mom" I said as I repacked my holdall.

my mother smiled at me "I'm gonna need some money paisley"

i knew this was coming, now i was her liquor income"Yeah course"I whispered, I got 30 dollars from my purse."that's all I have on me at the moment.

"Well it will do for now" she smiled at me again.

"I will see you Friday then?" I reminded her.

"Okay paisley baby" hmm I was paisley baby now she had taken my cash for being inside the house for 10 minutes.

I said goodbye and left. She followed me to the gate, swaying this way and that.

I got back in to kendalls car. He drove away with out a second glance at the drunken woman that stood at the end of the garden.

"You alright?" Kendall asked after a few minutes silence.

"No, not really" I began to cry. Kendall pulled over and pulled me in for a hug.

"Is she always like that?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah pretty much" I replied through a few tears. I wasn't much of a cryer, but the sadness of going in that place just got the better of me.

"There's a hotel not far. We can get cosy then sort all this out pais" kendall said as he wiped a tear away from my face.

I nodded and he put the car in motion again.

The hotel we got to was just a normal run of the mill Hilton.  
Kendall chucked my bag on the floor and flopped belly down on the bed. He beckoned me down with a wave of his hand.  
I laid belly down next to him with my head rested in my hands.

"Why didn't you tell me things were that bad paisley?" His voice was soft.

I smiled " believe it or not that's a very good day for her"

Kendall let out a deep breath."how am I meant to leave you there pais" he shook his head.

I smiled at him "kendall you can't rescue me. It's just life. I didn't mean to get upset, I just forgot how crappy a mom she is but she would never hurt me"

"No. I'm gonna fix it. We can get another girl in to replace kacey and pick up where it left off". Kendall was clutching at straws.

"Kendall its done. I'm out of luck and now thanks to my mother out of money. It's not meant to be. Kacey had the best voice. Kandy teaze is dead"

"Well stay with me. I got more than enough room..."

"Kendall don't be stupid. If I didn't have feelings for you I would snap that offer up, but I'm not gonna do that coz I... really do like you".we looked at each other for several moments.

"You don't want the fame anymore?" Kendall changed the subject

" I do but... not by shacking up with you. I only met you a few days ago"

"Ok... ok..." he took another breath and changed the subject again"where do you get all the Italian from?" Kendall definately made the most from behind the sunglasses in his car earlier.

"My dad, he is Italian, my mom is just blonde white trash" I let out a sigh this time.

"where is he now?"

I shrugged "he left when I was 7. He ran a bar in town and was screwing one of the barmaids. He went off with her, he visited me to start off with, but I havent so much as had a birthday card in 6 years now"

"Paisley I'm so sorry, I had no idea this is what spurred you on"

"Spurred me on?"

"Yeah to sing... to be a star. And just for the record, kacey may have stolen the stage but you have the better voice. You need to believe that".

"Kendall let's just enjoy the time we have now huh" now i changed the subject.

"Yep! Your right". He gave my backside a slap and stood up."paisley prince... we are going shopping" he pulled me up to my feet and kissed me.

"What are we shopping for?" I mused.

Kendall looked down at himself  
And held his arms out." I didn't come with anything, I need clothes, and i owe you a new phone"

"You don't owe me anything kendall" I kissed him." You are looking a bit shabby even for you" I smirked.  
"Tahoe is the best place near here. Are you not worried we will get seen"? I eyed kendall.

"Pais your not my dirty little secret. Tell you what if you come quietly I will buy lunch" he grinned like a cheshire cat.

"And if I don't?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Well then..." he lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist.  
I playfully screamed as he manhandled me.  
He kissed me. "Well then...that will be your last kiss" he promised.

I smiled at him.  
"Your very handsome kendall Schmidt, you know this don't you. Even with that black eye".

Kendall was just about to kiss me again when his cell phone rang.  
Kendall just looked at it on the side and let it ring out to voice mail.

"Who was it? Sheriden?" I asked as he put me back on my own two feet.

"No, Logan...6 days pais. I need a break... cmon shopping time" he grabbed his keys off the side and walked out the hotel room grabbing my hand with him.

Shopping with kendall was a very different experience to shopping with a normal person.  
He likes trainers... a lot. He bought himself 3 pairs. And got more than enough clothes to last him more than the 6 days.  
He held my hand pretty much every where we went.  
It felt special, I enjoyed the feeling.  
He wore aviator sunshades to hide his bruise on his face which came in handy as he got spotted fairly often by his eagle eyed btr fans.  
He had his picture taken with a good few of them.

One small girl, she must of been about 8 asked who I was, kendall replied "a very good friend" . I was happy with that. Any thing else this early on would be crazy. but im not even sure if kendall wanted it anything else at all.

Yeah we had slept together already but I enjoyed this getting to know each other take it slow approach.  
And the truth was the more I did get to know about him the more I was falling for him.

I doubt the same could be said for him, in the past 2 days I had gone from a wannabe singer to an alcoholics daughter, with no hope in life.  
But for now I was pushing my reality to one side just as kendall was.

"In here" he ordered.

We had walked in to a phone shop.

"Honestly kendall I can't let you buy a phone for me" I gripped his wrist.

" its not really for you. If you don't have a phone how are we gonna keep in touch?" He kissed me on the forehead.

The public display of affection made my cheeks redden.

He bought an iPhone for me regardless.  
We returned to our hotel after we stopped off at some Chinese noodle place to eat dinner.

"Kendall do you miss being normal" kendall laughed at my question.

"Am I not then?... normal?" He smirked at me.

"You know what I mean, do you ever wish you wernt famous?" I eyed him carefully as we both sat on our nice Hilton double bed.

"I love all of it... well apart from gossip and stuff. Sometimes its hard to talk just incase it can be easily twisted. But its a small drawback for everything me and the boys have achieved".

I nodded.

" you look shattered pais? You alright? Your head feeling okay after your knock?" He now eyed me carefully.

"Yeah I'm fine. I got bit of a headache but I think its from the vodka" I gave kendall a reassuring smile.

Kendall got up and pulled the sheets back on the bed. He undressed and got in. I followed suit. But kept a vest top and some panties on.  
I snuggled up to kendall, admiring the tattoo on his arm.  
I swirled my finger over the heart shape and yawned.

I was pretty tired.

"Today was fun" he said kissing my head.

"Yeah it was nice" I added.

we chatted a bit about general stuff but I soon dozed off to sleep.

Kendalls phone ringing woke me up. But not him, it said on the screen that it was James calling.  
I wonder what he wanted.  
I got in the shower and got dressed. Kendalls phone rang again. This time is said "shoo" on the caller id.

Kendall woke up.

"morning pais" he husked out at me.

"Morning, your phones been going..." I handed it to him.

"James and someone called shoo" I added.

"Oh right" kendall responded and took the phone not making eye contact.

"Shit" he said

"What's the matter?" I asked and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Got an email from my lawyer, kacey is being a problem" he sighed.

"So what does that mean then?" I looked at him kind of aware what may well just be coming.

"It means life has grabbed my balls pais... I'm going to have to go back to LA" he ran both his hands across the top of his head.

"Today?" I whispered.

"Yeah... but its fine. You can come with me and we can..."

"Kendall no" i thought for a minute, there was no point delaying the enevitable. "It's not gonna happen. I got to go home sometime, might as well be today"

Kendall sat up "I'm sorry" he whispered.

"It's okay... its been great ya know"

"Pais please come with me, it will be fine"

"No its a waste of time, It will be Friday before too long and I would have to come back again"

"Paisley... baby.. I'm sorry" he looked me in the eye.

I hugged him.

"Cmon let's get it over and done with" I dragged kendall from the bed.

"Pais come here" and he pulled me on his lap and hugged me.

"This isn't it. okay... I promise" he whispered at me then kissed me on my lips.

I nodded in response. Fighting back the lump in my throat.

Before long he was parked outside my moms place again.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea kendall" I looked up at the house.

"Well I will call you when I get back okay!" He promised.

"Sure" I managed out."You take care alright".

"You too pais" he smiled

I got out of the car and walked around to the drivers side window, I leaned in.

"Gonna miss you and your smile" I rubbed his poorly eye with my hand.

Kendall gave me a smile as a parting gift before kissing me gently on the lips.

He started the engine up and turned the car around at the end of the street.  
I watched him drive by, as he slowed down to go past with his final wave I mouthed " I love you" to him.  
He gave me a shy smile before driving away.

Why did I do that? what was i expecting from the guy. he was still hung up on sheriden quite obviously and i had nothing going for me.

i turned and looked at the house that i for now would call home. i sighed then walked up the path.


	17. Chapter 17

Sheridens story

As I watched James running after the dogs in his garden I tried to sort out some things for the charity gala.  
Most of it was taken care of music, auction, dinner etc... but a few items had to be addressed by me, I also needed to book another artist in to replace kandy teaze.

James hadn't given me the I told you speach yet about how he knew kacey was a huge risk.  
But I knew once he knew I was completly better he would be piling it on me thick.

He came and sat next to me on the patio table.  
He was laughing at fox his little puppy.  
"Any luck yet?" He questioned my band finding.

"No not yet. I'm waiting for a couple of calls back" I rested my head on his shoulder.

James nudged me and pointed his head towards fox, I looked up. Fox was now covered in green slime from the pond.

I laughed "he is your baby, you can hose him down"

"Yeah he is" James smiled "...sheriden... you know what you said about a million kids the other day?" He added.

I looked at him from my resting point on his shoulder."yes... what about it?"

"Well do you think we actually will... I mean we know what's coming now dont we, with your back. You really want to go through all that pain again?"

I sat up properly and looked James in the eye.  
"I do want children... I do. I'm not prepared to let my stupid back take that away from me"

James kissed me.

"Are you wanting to go through it all with me?" I asked James.

"For you sheriden, I would do anything. Even if it meant running you hot baths every hour for 9 months" I laughed at James.

"I love you maslow" I whispered.

"Hey one day you will be maslow" he smirked at his words.

"not marrying you James!" I joked.

I was getting cold, I ran my hands across my arms. i had goose bumps.

"You want a sweater Sheri?" James asked.

"No I'm gonna go in, my head feels a bit light... who says fresh air is good for you huh?" I rolled my eyes.

James smiled and gave me another kiss.  
"Okay baby, I'm going to wash the incredible hulk clean, and be inside in a bit"

I got up but just as I was on my feet James grabbed my arm and pulled me down on to his lap.  
"I will make you mine Lloyd" he said with a smile.  
He made my heart ache so much.

We kissed slowly. James' arms wrapped around me. He kept me warmer than any jumper in the world.  
I love him so much.

I heard the door bell sing from inside.  
"Eurgh, bad timing" James said pulling his lips from mine.

I smiled, feeling James' hardness digging in to me.

"Its probably Logan, you clean the hulk, I'll get the door"

I climbed off of James' lap and walked through the house to the front door.  
I opened it up to see kendall stood before me.

"Oh. sheriden!?... hi. I didn't think you would be here?"

"Where the hell have you been! Everyone has been trying to get hold of you"

Kendall looked past me and ignored my moans.

"Um... is James about? I need to talk to him"

"Come in" I opened up the door further to allow kendall in to James lounge.  
"He is washing fox down... kendall I had a letter from my lawyer this morning asking to jump on board of this case with you" as I spoke kendall wondered around the room pretending to be interested in the art on the walls

"Uh huh" he replied to me.

"Well did you want me to?" I snapped now.

"Do what you want sheriden"

"Have I done something to annoy you kendall?"

He ignored me and walked through to the kitchen.

"Kendall?"

Again he ignored me.  
"Kendall you can't come inside my house and treat me like shit" James walked in the kitchen from the garden but kendall didn't see him.

"It's not your house though, I came to talk to James. Kendall hissed at me.

"Sheriden lives here now"

kendall turned around to see James.

"We have moved in together kendall" James carried on "sheriden still isn't 100% so if you have come here to make life difficult then I would like you to leave"

"I didn't come here to make anything difficult, I didn't know she was going to be here" kendall spoke to James.

"Kendall why am I she now?" His petty attitude was pissing me off. I walked right up to him so he could address me instead of going through James as a third party.

Kendall looked me straight in the eye.  
"Personally sheriden I've had enough of your shit, and your face.

I slapped kendall hard round the face.  
"Jesus!" He cried out as he held a hand to his already bruised cheek.

James stood in the same spot at the door looking at the floor with what looked like a smile on his face.

"I'm sorry okay. I just need some space from you shoo"

"Why what have I done? last time I saw you ,you told me you loved me, now this?" My voice was raised now. And my cold and shivers had returned with avengance. I wrapped my arms around my self and sat at the breakfast bar.

"I just ... blame myself. If I wasn't in your life then this shit wouldn't keep happening to you" he pulled up a stool.

"Is she okay?" Kendall asked James.

"Yeh, she has trouble controlling her body temperature, it will wear off" James replied and sat down on a stool himself.

"Can't you get her a sweater or something?" Kendall didn't like seeing me how I was.

"It will wear off" James simply said with a shrug.

"Christ!" Kendall took his jacket off and placed it over my shoulders.  
Again I noticed James smile at his feet.

"So what did you want" James asked kendall.

"Um yeah... well, kandy teaze. we need to replace kacey. It can just carry on"

"Kendall kandy teaze is finished..." he cut me off.

"No its not, if we just got another member it can still work" his voice begged.

I had a feeling this had something to do with him and paisley.  
"Kendall its not just kacey. Amberleigh has gone now too. James had lunch with her today and she decided that she wants to be more in a studio than on stage"

Kendall looked from me to James. In the hope that my words were lies.

"But she can't of left?" Kendall slumped in his seat.

"Kendall is this about paisley petrelli" James asked.

"She said she loved me... when I drove off. She just said it"  
James and I looked at each other.

"Well... do you feel the same?" James asked him.

"How am I meant to know that. I'm still in love with your girlfriend" kendalls eyes pierced in to James.

James looked away.

"Kendall? sorry what's been happening between you two" I asked .

"We are seeing each other... sort of, its all bad timing shoo, my head is all over the fucking place"

"Kendall do you like her?" I asked.

"Yeah she is amazing, I do really like her" kendall looked to his hands." I need to get her back here... in LA"

"There isn't a band for her anymore bud'" James got up from his seat and walked out to the lounge returning with a blanket which he wrapped around me replacing kendalls jacket, then sat me on his lap with his arms around me on the bar stool that was next door to me.

Kendall hardly noticed all these goings on.

"You should see where she has to stay, its all my fault you know. And her mother... Jesus!" kendall put his head In his hands.

I gave James a squeeze. I didn't know what to say to kendall.

"... Well she is still only 19 kendall, she is a good singer, she will get her break" James reassured kendall.

"No she is giving up" kendall said."her voice is amazing, you should hear her... I mean really hear her".

"Kendall she is really good, I have heard her. But the band has gone" I patted kendalls shoulder.

James squeezed me this time. I looked up." Can I have a word" he whispered.

"'Scuse us for a sec'" James said as he popped me off if his lap and ushered me through the lounge and in to our bedroom.

"What?" I hushed

"Ask paisley to sing for your charity" James asked.

"What?, how will that Get people to donate money. She is a no one James. I don't mean to be harsh but this charity means the world to me" my whispers bit back at James.

"Sheri, trust me. You owe me big time for the kandy teaze fuck up. I will make it work. I've got an idea"

"What idea?" I hissed at him.

"That would be telling... do you trust me?"

"Of course I do babe but... Jesus . why is kendall doing this?"

"Maybe him and paisley have got something good?" James smiled.

"Yeah and maybe Logan was right, and kendall is rushing in to things again"

"... well so what if he is" James smiled.

I shook my head."James please don't fuck up my charity. I put a lot of work in to help peoples lives with that"

"Sheri i won't fuck it up. I promise" he pulled me back out to the kitchen.

Kendall was still sat at the breakfast bar.

I stayed standing but James sat next to kendall  
"Right this is what we will try... get petrelli back here. If she is as good as you say she can be on her own, and if your wanting to risk it, so are Sheri and I on making paisley solo". James smiled at kendall " she will need to be here on Friday to sing for her life at Sheridens charity bash on saturday"

"You would both do this for her?" Kendall replied in astonishment.

"No I'm doing it because I've been told to, and James is doing it for you" I pulled the blanket tighter around me.

"Call her and see what she thinks" James nudged kendall.

"Yeah... yeah okay!" kendall pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Silence succombed the room as kendall waited for paisley to answer her phone.

"Pais', hey. Listen I've got some news. How does going solo sound? We are gonna sign you pais!..."

"What do you mean?"

"Course you can paisley. I told you. Your amazing" I looked at James. Hearing the one sided conversation from kendall it sounded like paisley had some confidence issues.  
James just cocked his head and shrugged.

"No it will be fine" kendall continued."you need to get back here by Friday"

"Well I will pay for it?" Kendall was really agitated.

"What? Why?..."

"Well what does that mean?"

"Okay... yeah I know, but..."

Kendall looked up and took the phone from his ear.  
"She Hung up... she was just about to talk to her... Ryan"

"kendall stop dicking about, go get the girl, and bring her back" James said flatly.

"I can't, I've got to see my solicitor... this kacey shit."

"Well I will drive down and get her" James concluded.

"What? No you won't James!" I argued.

James ignored me and walked with kendall towards the garden.

For fuck sake.  
I shivered and walked through to the bedroom.  
I got undressed and changed in to my night shirt and got in to bed.

I could hear voices in the next room. Kendall must be leaving.

James walked in. He took his shirt off and layed on top if the covers next to me.

"I'm not talking to you" I mumbled.

"Sheriden it will take one day to get her back here. It's not worth you getting upset over"

"James... why are you doing this, to force kendall in to a relationship?"

James laughed at me "no sheriden. I'm doing this because I wanted to start a record label. I listened to you, and I've listened to kendall. Now I want to listen to my self"

I turned to look at James.

"You can stay here and make sure that kacey gets what she deserves"

"I didn't think you wanted me to get involved?"

"I don't...really. but its the right thing to do. I'm going to drive up tomorrow. Kendall says she is meeting with her ex now, he thinks she will go back to him. Apparently her mum has a load of problems"

I snuggled in to James too tired and cold to argue. How I ever survived doing coke for all those years before I will never fathom out.

I fell to sleep in James arms but woke up just after Midnite. I layed there thinking about kendall and his latest problems.  
Was I jelous he had found someone he was willing to risk so much on?

I got out of bed carefully so as not to wake up James and picked my lap top up from the sofa and sat in a stool at the breakfast bar.

I clicked on my personal photos and scrolled down to some I hadn't looked at in a long while.  
One in paticular made me smile.

It was of me and kendall. It was taken at the beginning of our relationship. Kendall had his arm draped over me.  
And I was as close to him as i physically could get.  
Both of us smiling up at the camera. Kendall looked so... complete.  
My heart ached away.

"Is there something I should be worrying about" James said from behind me.  
I slammed the lap top shut.

"Shit, you scared me" I said, flustered.

James took the stool next to me and re opened the lap top.

"I'm sorry... I was just looking through them all..." I was rambling.

James looked at the photo of kendall and I.  
"It's a good picture" he smiled at it.

"I'm sorry James" I felt ashamed.

"Hey Cmon" he put his arm round me."I was there remember, you two was all about each other... I can't expect you to not feel... anything"

"James its not that, its just... well I don't know what to feel"

"Sheriden I love you. So much I doubt you will ever even know. But I stand by what I said the day after you two got together. It was a mistake. You look happy in that" he pointed to the picture."but you look happy in these too" James scrolled the curser to some pictures of him and I before we dated and some after.

I smiled at the memories before james returned it back to kendall and i.

"Don't be guilty of your past sheriden. It made you and me who we are today"

" what the hell did i do right to get you James" James laughed at my honesty.

"I think its more what you did wrong Sheri"  
i smiled and a few tears escaped my eyes.

He chuckled again.  
"Come here soppy" and he pulled me in for a hug.  
"I couldn't sleep myself actually" James confessed.

"Why not?" I asked wiping my face.

"I want to ask you something" James' voice was almost a whisper.

"It's not will you marry me before you go off on one" I shut my mouth.  
"But would you consider buying a house together? This place really doesn't suit you Sheri"

"James I love this place. There is nothing wrong with it" I defended the gorgeous bungalow.

"My princess deserves a palace to live in. A fresh start for both of us. would you want to buy a home with me?" James held my hand on the breakfast table.

"Yes I definately would like that" I whispered through a few more escaped tears.

James kissed me.  
"Cmon let's get back to bed" he ordered.

James left before 6am the next morning. The plan was to pick paisley up and hopefully get back before dark.  
Kendall was under instruction that under no circumstances should I be left on my own for over a few hours.

I kissed James goodbye. I so needed him right now, not kendall.  
Then he was off to reno. I felt lost.

After I got the ball rolling with my own solicitor on kaceys back I had kendall left over as my house guest.

It had been a long while since we had been alone together like this.  
I felt uncomfortable.

"You can go you know, I don't need a baby sitter" I said to kendall as we both sat on the large L shaped sofa.

"I promised James I would stay til he got back" kendall insisted.

Silence filled the lounge.  
"Did you want to watch a movie" I asked him.

He thought for a minute before replying to me.  
"... shoo why did you do it?"

I looked at him for several seconds then shrugged.  
"Jus' wanted the pain to go"

He nodded.  
"You really moving in with James then?" Another question.

"Yeah... we are thinking about buying a place together, somewhere bigger... a family home. You know?" I wished I hadn't of said the last part of my sentance.

"Oh right... are you... now?" Kendall stumbled through his sentance lacking any grace.

"No. No I'm not ready for that yet... just getting set for the future... you know?"

Kendall nodded " so you and James are the real thing you think then?"

"I believe so, yes".

"Sheriden..." kendall lingered.

"Yeh?"

"James... and you are perfect. He is just the person you need" kendall gave a weak smile.

"Thank you" I returned with a weak smile of my own.

"So what has been going on with you and paisley" I grinned.

Kendall cracked a beautiful smile. The excitement in his eyes at the chance to talk about her.  
"Well we agreed to take things slow. But she is... a lot of fun"

"And she told you she loves you?" I asked.

"Um... well yeah, I think so. She kind of mouthed it to me when I dropped her off"

I smiled " did you say it back?"

"No it shocked me to be honest. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind"

Kendall seemed very Hung up on paisley. It was nice to see.  
Just before 1pm I recieved a call from James.  
Reno wasn't going to plan.  
He didn't go in to great detail. I got the impression some words had been said between James and the ex boyfriend.

James said there may be a slight problem but phone again shortly to let. me know.  
I didn't tell kendall this yet. No point in making him upset.

Kendall made him and I some lunch. It was a beautiful day so we ate in the garden. It was gone 3 when I received the next call from James.

"Sheriden there is a small problem" James said down the phone.

I left kendall sat in the garden and walked in to the house.

"Oh James, if paisley doesn't want to come then sod ..." James cut in.

"No she is here. I've got her. It's the car... I'm fine. Don't worry about anything like that but the windscreen is... cracked. I can't drive with it like this, I found someplace to repair it but the screen won't get here til tomorrow. I won't be home tonight Sheri"

"What? James... you have to come back..."

"I'm sorry baby, I promise I will be home by this time tomorrow"

"How did it crack... the windscreen?" I asked.

"Um ... paisleys boyfriend took a dislike to me"

"What? Did he hit you?"

James laughed down the phone.  
"Sheriden please" he chuckled again "I'm fine baby. Listen Logan is gonna be with you later tonight. Kendall can go home"

I've never seen James even slightly violent. I wondered what had happened between him and this Ryan person.  
James worked out a lot, he was definetely capable of looking after him self.

"Ok... what time for Logan?"

"Bout 9, he is out of town til later"

"James I will be in bed by 9, I'm almost ready for bed now. Fucking comedown of this shit is a killer"

"Sheri shooting it up in the first place is a killer. Keep your phone on loud and Logan will call you when he is there. So you can still go to bed early" I could almost hear the smile in James' voice.

"Love you James. Call me later baby yeah?"

"Love you too Sheri. I will"

Great. Now I was doomed to spending the rest of the day with my ex, while my boyfriend spent the night with paisley petrelli somewhere in reno.  
I knew that maserati would make problems. And here it is.

I walked back out to the garden.  
"So they are staying in reno for the night" I sighed as I sat back down next to kendall.

"Really? Why?" Kendall asked.

"I think the masarati got a similar treatment as your face"

Kendall laughed "no fucking way"

"It's not funny. James could of got hurt"

Kendall pulled his phone out

"What are you doing now?" I asked him.

"Texting James, I want a picture of it"

I rolled my eyes. But felt fairly happy.  
Finally witnessing kendall talking about James in a fun way.

kendalls cell vibrated and a big grin came over his face.

"how bad is it?" i asked

"im not sure yet he said look at twitter"

"i'll get my lap top.." i walked in to the kitchen to get my lap top. it opened up to the picture of kendall and i from last night.

"thats...weird" kendall added.

i blushed. "i was just looking through them last night thats all"

kendall didnt say a word.

i signed in to twitter and there it was

"jesus christ" i whispered. the windscreen was not just cracked. it was mostly shattered with a hole in it. paisley was sat on the bonnet of the masarati. she looked every inch a little rock star. the caption james had put with his photo simply read "watch out world paisley prince has arrived"

"prince? why prince?" i asked kendall.

"petrelli was like a stage name she was given, her surname is prince... i guess james is allready on the ball of making her a someone" kendall smiled at the picture.

"james is okay with this girl isnt he?" i eyed kendall

"you mean is paisley a slut?" kendall said flatly

i shrugged at kendall.

"sheriden, paisley has a few issues relationship wise, so im pretty safe in the knowledge that not even amazing james could crack that one"

"you did... after an hour!" i reminded him.

"yeah that was different" he protested.

"i wonder what james has got up his sleeve for this girl? did he say?"

"i think he wants her to do a small set with some big ballads too show off her voice and he toyed with the idea of a colabiration with us"

"thats a good idea, sounds like a you tube frenzy if its got you guys in it"

"yeah... she is amazing." kendall smiled away at the picture of paisley on the car.


	18. Chapter 18

**paisleys story**

as i opened the door to the brick chalet house that i grew up in i took one last glance to where kendall had just dropped me off.

why did i say i love you. what a dick i am.

i sighed deeply and walked in the house. my mother was still in bed as far as i could gather. the mess was awful, i began to tidy up.  
there was no way in hell i could live here like this.

after an hour or so of making the place semi livable in my mom graced me with her presence.

"i thought you said friday?" her voice sounded so much older than she actually was.

"yeah things changed" i answered

"ryan was round here last light looking for you, ellie mei from down the street saw you was back and told him"

"what did he want mom?" i asked

"he wants you back paisley. and if you know whats good for you you will go back... i sure as hell dont have the room for you here"

i thought for a second and looked around the house.  
my reality sucked. with kendall gone and him being so far away i doubted that i would probably ever see him gain.  
yeah im a pretty girl. but thats not enough to bring kendall schmidt back to me.

"i will call him mom. i will hear him out okay"

she gave me a smile before going to the fridge to get a beer out. she might as well pour the stuff on her cornflakes.

i had arranged to meet ryan in town. i didnt want to go back to his place just incase he got angry. i have been known to lock myself in the bathroom from time to time to escape a fist from him when he would accuse me of doing shit with other guys.  
kendall was most definately the only guy that had been silly enough to succeed.

i sat on a bench waiting for ryan to show up, he was already ten minutes late.  
my phone rang. it was kendall.

"hey! how are you?" i answered

_"Pais', hey. Listen I've got some news. How does going solo sound? We are gonna sign you pais!..."_

"kendall i cant talk now, solo sounds... not good"

_"What do you mean?"_

"im not good enough for that. i could never carry it off."

_"Course you can paisley. I told you. Your amazing"._

" i really dont feel comfortable with it kendall"  
_  
"No it will be fine" kendall continued."you need to get back here by Friday_"

"i dont have any money to get back to LA"

"_Well I will pay for it?"_

"look ive got to go now"

"_What? Why?..."_

"im meeting ryan, kendall"

"_Well what does that mean_?"

"well nothing but i cant stay at my moms, you know what she is like... look he is here now, gotta go. sorry"

i slipped the phone back in to my pocket just as ryan had approached me.

we talked over a lot of things. but the fact was i had slept with someone else, he had the right to be angry... even though i knew and he knew that he had done it to me countless times with other girls.

i didnt tell him about the phonecall i had just got about possibly returning to LA. i couldnt even afford to get there so there was no way it could even happen.

it looked like ryan was my only light i had left at the end of a dark shitty tunnel.

ryan agreed that i could come back to his house. i said i would stay at my moms for tonight and he can pick me and my things up tomorrow.  
he seemed happy with that. we walked around for a while, i was hoping to find a few job positions in the local shops. i would go down to the pool tomorrow to see if there was any way they would take me back on as life guard.

the night on the sofa was a long one. i tried to stay out as late as i could so i wouldnt run in to moms latest squeeze. he was a class A dick.  
i was pleased that this would be my only night on this sofa. i think i would rather be dead than put up with living here again.  
my night consisted of very little sleep and remembering the awful childhood that i had. looking around the room so many memories came back to me that i had lost or purposly forgotton.

funnily enough it was in this room that i lost my virginity to scott from school. and it was this room that i told my mom i was pregnant at 15.

i wish i had my time again. i wish i wasnt so scared of everything.  
i wish kendall had of taken me back with him.

i woke up late the next morning, just gone ten. i got washed and dressed and walked the way in to town to the pool.  
i spoke to a few old friends, they found it amusing that i had been in the papers, and asked me a load of personal questions about kendall... if i had learnt one thing from any of what had happened in LA it was to keep your mouth shut or reap the repercussions.

i denied everything and smiled sweetly.  
they had no jobs for me.

as i got back to my moms i got the shock of my life seeing james maslows car out side the chalet. it wasnt alone though, ryans car was parked just infront of it.

crap!

ryan must of been in the house, james was sat in his car. i didnt blame him not getting out, i wouldt of left that thing outside on this street alone either.

i knocked on james' window, it came down and the gorgeous james maslow smiled at me, he had his sunglasses on again so all i could really see was my own reflection looking back at me.

"hey paisley" james chirped

"hi... what are you doing here?" i asked bemused.

"its your turn to shine... we are going back to LA"

"what? why are you here.."

"kendall is busy with taking kacey to the cleaners, so i have come to rescue you. i did knock but the angry little guy in there wasnt very welcoming towards me" james grinned. his smile was amazing.

"but what will happen if it turns out rubbish again? ive got no where to come back to if i go with you"

"paisley what if it turns out great?"

i smiled at james. singing... and kendall, it wasnt much of a risk when i weighed the odds out like that.

"okay i will get my things"

"i will come with you paisley"

"no... its fine, its not great inside... honestly its fine i will be right out"

"paisley im coming with you"

i sighed, and nodded.

james came in the chalet with me. ryan was sat on the sofa. he must of seen me talking to james through the window. ryan looked pissed off.

"hey" i said to ryan

"wais who the fuck is that?"

"um, ryan , james. james , ryan" i introduced them "james is... my boss

"i thought you said that all that singing shit was finished, then he shows up with his flash car... and what?... you off again?"

"ryan listen. this is a massive thing for me"

"i dont give a shit pais. you aint going anywhere"

"please, ryan. you cant tell me what to do"

ryan stood up, he squared up to james. i think there must of been only an inch in the size difference between them.

"you want her? your gonna have to pry her from my dead hands pretty boy!"

james didnt say a word. he smiled and gave a small chuckle before ramming ryan up against a wall. james held him there by his throat.  
im not even sure if ryans feet could still touch the ground.

"i think you should listen to your girlfriend a bit more. she wants to do this" james voice was more a hiss "if you ever threaten me again i will cut this fucking throat... are we clear?"

ryan gurgled in response.

james let go and ryan fell to the floor in a heap coughing.

"get ya shit pais' we are off" james said before walking out of the house

i grabbed my stuff and ran out the door and in to the passanger side of james' car.

ryan came out the house.  
"im sorry" i called out to him

"sorry... fuck sorry" ryan shouted back at me. he started kicking at a loose fence post untill it had got free. james did my window up and drove off, he turned around at the end of the road but ryan was armed and ready. the maserati took a blow to the window. i screamed.  
james put his foot down, i had no idea how he could even see out the car, but he somehow made it a few blocks away from my moms chalet.

he pulled over

"fuck... fuck" james shouted

"shit im sorry" the car was silent

after a few moments james spoke  
"its not my car, its rented... fuck"

"well lets just get it fixed. its only the windscreen" i hoped it was only the windscreen.

james got out and had a look at the damage, i opened my door but stayed in the car.

james poked his head round "yeah it is just the screen... sorry i didnt mean to shout at you"

i smiled "its fine... thanks for what you did back there"

"any time" he simply replied.

james got back in the car and dialled a number on his phone.

he spoke to sheriden. told her he might have a problem because of ryan. he didnt tell her what had happened. i guess she had been through so much, having her worry about james wouldnt help anything.

he said goodbye to sheriden then googled a few local garage numbers. he tried about 6. most laughed at him, who stocked maserati windscreens? but he did find one that could get one for tomorrow morning. by the sounds of it, it was not going to be cheap.

we got a tow to the same hilton that kendall and i had stayed at. we should of been half way to LA by now.  
james paid for a room each for us.  
i felt so awkward relying on people for money. usually i was very independant. i had to be to survive.

as i lay on my bed i still couldnt help feel happy. i didnt deserve any of this. i really wanted to give it my best shot.  
the door knocked.

"hey! this is going to sound odd but i need you to sit on the car" james flashed a smile at me.

i raised an eyebrow to him. he walked in my room.

"has this got your clothes in?"

i looked at james maslow very puzzled "yeah it does" i answered

james opened my bag and picked certain items out. could this get any weirder?

"right put that on, with those boots and i will meet you in the parking lot"

i laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation but nodded.  
james left and i got changed and went out to see what he was up to.

"why do i have to sit in the car?" i asked james.

"not in it paisley... on it. im going to put you on twitter"

"what?" i laughed at him.

he nodded in the direction of the car bonnet, so i climbed on. now i know why he wanted me to change. this was a publicity stunt. james took a few pictures before i could get off.  
he helped me down.

"very clever mr maslow" i laughed

"i know miss petrelli" he winked at me

"its not petrelli... it prince... paisley prince"

james cocked his head. prince didnt seem to irritate him as it had my agent madeleine.  
he tapped away at his phone for a bit then declared that it was all done.

"right young lady. we have got a job to do" and he ushered me away back in to the hotel.

james took me in to his hotel room. this made me nervous. i hardly knew they guy.

"how well do you know these songs"

he played a few seconds of each song he had picked out for me on his phone.

"um... hallelujah i know pretty much all the words to. the others just the chorus... maybe a bit more".

james smiled "good. sing hallelujah to me"

"now?" i asked

"ya. we only have a few days paisley and i need to know you know the song and can hit those notes... show me what you got"

"okay"

i sang james the song. he walked around the room. it put me off slightly.

he wasnt pleased the first time

"close your eyes, pretend im not here"

i tried again  
"that was better" he said after,

"now sing it with me, follow my pitch, you will notice that mine is slightly different to yours... learn from it"

i sang with james. his voice was perfect for this song. it blew me away. but i knew what he meant. i needed to give this my all. thats all james wanted.

he smiled "thats good... you need to get it out from here" he placed his hand on my stomach.

i tried again on my own. james raised his hand to help my voice hit the right note.

he smiled that smile at me. he was pleased  
"paisley your voice is really astounding" he beamed

"really"

"yes. its amazing, kendall was right... this song is going to be your make or break okay. its so powerful"

i sucked in a deep breath. i had butterflies in my tummy

"do you know nothing even matters?" james asked

"big time rush nothing even matters?" i asked

"ya"

"yeah i do... why?"

"because you will be singing it with us on saturday hopefully. i need to make a few calls but i want you in on it"

"its not a duet though? that wouldnt work"

"it can be broken down very easily...listen" james played the song on his iphone. he pointed at me on the lyrics that i would be singing.

listening to the song like that made it sound like it was destined to be a duet.

i was blown away again by james. he was intelligent beyond belief. i had so much respect for him right now.

james sent the songs to my iphone and ordered me to practice. he said we will continue in the car tomorrow.

i plodded back to my room so happy. i fet for once things couldnt get screwed up.

The night went by uneventful. James knocked on my door just after nine the following morning. The windscreen had just been replaced.  
James told me that when we got back to LA I would be put in to a different hotel from the last, just incase ryan showed up.  
And that I would definately be signing on the dotted line with his label directly we got back.  
As far as James was concerned he had heard enough that I wouldn't need to do any sample tracks in the studio.

I was beaming.

"I will be in the car when your ready paisley" James smiled " say goodbye to reno" he winked.

I did say good bye to reno. I hoped to god I would never return.

I walked out to James he took my bags from me and put them in the back.

"You ready" James smiled at me. I think he knew the feeling of excitement he had given me the gift of.

"I'm so ready" I grinned back.

Mostly on the drive to LA James helped me with the songs.  
I was to sing 4 songs in front of the 1500 guests of Sheridens charity gala.

"James you said before that kendall was right about my voice?... has he said anything else about me?" I think I hid my blushes fairly well.

James glanced at me with a huge grin.  
"He did say some thing about you telling him you were in love with him"

I couldn't contain any blushes after that.  
James laughed.

"Oh god. I don't know why I said it" I covered my face with my hands.

"Paisley don't worry about it. He likes you... a lot"

"Really, why hasn't he called since he found out I was meeting Ryan"

"You Hung up on the guy to meet that prick. What do you expect?"

"Yeah I guess. I didn't have a choice though... you saw my moms house"

James just nodded. Being a fully bred Californian he probably expects this from the wrong parts of reno.

"Really though paisley, he is quite taken by you. The thing about kendall is he falls in love fast and hard..." James looked at me as he reached a red light."kendall does stupid things when he is in love. I wouldn't want to see him get hurt"

"I don't want to hurt him James. I like him a lot" my voice was a whisper.

"Was it his idea to make me solo?" I added

"No that was me actually. I left kendall to look after sheriden for me... thanks by the way... for helping the other day. I was a mess"

"That's okay... did you say kendall is with sheriden?"

"Yeah I called her last night. They had a meeting with their lawyers to take kacey down then kendall was keeping an eye on her for me... she still isn't right"

"Oh so he changed his mind on staying away from her then? He seemed so adament the other day"

"He did try" he laughed "sheriden slapped some sense in to him"

"Did he stay the night?"  
James looked at me with a 'do I look dumb' glance.

"Sorry. He just is so... Hung up on her. I don't mean to be rude but I have trouble ever picturing that they get along let alone had a whirlwind romance"

James laughed "right!" He agreed.  
"I never understood it either. But they did and it was all very... emotional"

"Don't you find it hard to see them together? I mean just knowing kendall has been talking to her makes me feel insecure".

"No, I know sheriden inside out. And I know the hurt she suffered because of him"

"Yeah I guess... well I hope kendall will be pleased to see me"

James grinned again.  
"Right these songs... how are you doing? Make sure you don't over do it. Last thing you need is to lose your voice"

"I'm doing okay... I hope... your really amazing James. Thanks for your help"

James smiled  
" don't tell kendall you called me amazing... he has issues" he let out a deep laugh.

Our journey back was fun. James was very normal. His head firmly on his shoulders.  
He would think through everything he said very carefully before it left his mouth.

We were now minutes from his home, Where I was about to sign an actual record contract.

My excitement could not be contained.

"Paisley before you get out the car, I've noticed you haven't so much as glanced at your phone. Just so your aware kendall is inside" he gave me a smile.

"Thanks James... I'm not avoiding him, I'm just a bit scared"

"I doubt your as scared as he is right now... Go easy on him paisley"

I gave James a smile but my stomach was now in knots.

We went inside. Something smelled nice cooking. I was starving.  
Sheriden greeted me.

"Paisley, welcome. come on in" she hugged me " ... thankyou paisley. For doing what you did the other day. God knows what you must think of me"

I smiled at her. She looked well. But was wearing what must of been James' sweater. It was huge on her small frame.

"Kendall is cooking us Thai, you must be hungry"

"Yeah famished" my voice whispered out.

James took sheriden around the waist and looked her in the eye.  
"You okay" he asked.

"Now your home I am" sheriden replied.  
I don't know what James thought was intense with sheriden and kendall but watching those two was very uncomfortable.

"Kendall is just through there" sheriden said before she locked lips with James.

I walked through. Kendall was stood with his back to me.  
I gulped down the lump that was now in my throat.

"Hey stranger" I called

Kendall turned to look at me.  
"Hey! ... I'm making dinner. thai?"

"Thai is good" I replied.

I walked up to kendall to give him a hug.

He held me tightly.  
"Pais I missed you"

"I missed you more" I looked up to kendalls face.  
We stared at each other for a few seconds.  
Then his lips met mine. Beautiful soft lips. I slipped my tongue in his mouth, he met it with his own, He caressed it.

Kendalls arms still on my waist from the hug he had just given me. I moved my hands around his shoulders and got comfortable with our kiss.

My butterflys in my stomach felt insane.  
I don't think I ever wanted to part from kendalls soft slow kiss.

"Hmm hmmm" came a cough from behind us.  
Kendall broke his contact with me.  
I turned my head to see James and sheriden.  
James had his arm around her shoulders.

James smiled at me. I smiled back. Sheriden just looked. It must be hard for her to see but kendall let go of me slowly.

I kept my gaze on James. His smile made me feel safe.  
"Paisley would you like to look through your contract now?"

I looked up to kendall. He didn't look at me, he was too busy gawping at sheridens confused face.

"Sure" I said with a sigh  
James walked me through to a small room just off of his lounge. I suppose you would call it a den. It had a small office space inside it.

"Are you okay" James asked.

"Yeah its a bit weird. Are they always like that when they are together?"

James smiled " no I think they will probably hug it out then it will be normal"

"Are you okay with that?" I asked James.

"Paisley you have to remember that they lost a baby together and still try to be friends after a messy break up" James sat down.

"Yeah I know. Kendall is so messed up about it"

"They both are. Paisley, its going to take a while for them both to move on. It's been well over a year now and look what's happened"

"I don't get how you can be so understanding all the time?"

"easy... I love sheriden. I'm always going to be there for her. Good and bad"

I nodded."James... I do feel I love kendall, i wasnt just saying it. I'm just not sure I can fill Sheridens shoes for him"

"Don't fill her shoes pais. Be a new pair" James smiled.

"You wanna read this contract and sign your life away?"

"I sure do" I replied wiping away a stray tear.

I read through the 6 month contract which included 1 album and 2 singles. Plus free accomodation.

I was over the moon.

I hugged James .  
"Right shall we eat?" he said

"Definately" I agreed.

As we walked out from the den. The kitchen was quiet. James and I walked in to a disturbing sight of kendall and sheriden in the middle if what looked like an intimate kiss.

I stepped foreward from James ready to show my anger. But James grabbed my hand tightly before I could step foot in to the kitchen.  
He stared at me to wait.

We both stood there. Watching his girlfriend and my boyfriend to be kissing. Eyes shut, exchanging tongues. Very much ... kissing.

Kendall pulled away and rested his forehead on Sheridens.  
"I'm sorry" kendall said

"It's okay...im sorry too. for everything... james, the baby. but don't hurt her kendall"

Kendall smiled "I won't shoo I promise"

"James loves you more than I ever could shoo. Don't give him any more of your shit okay"

sheriden gave a small laugh"I promise"

They hugged, and James pulled me by my hand back to the den.

"Are you okay" he asked.

"Yeah that looked like..." I couldn't think of a word for what I had just seen.

"closure?..." James offered.

"was it? Shit are you okay? That must of been rough" I asked James

"I'm surprised its taken them so long. But in a way I'm glad I saw it" he replied

We both looked at eachother in silence

"Paisley could I ask you to maybe not mention that we saw ... that"

"um... Course, that's fine"

James walked out of the room loudly talking this time. I didn't listen to what he was saying. When we reached the kitchen this time sheriden was sat alone in a stool and kendall was dishing up dinner.

James pulled a chair out for me, I sat opposite sheriden.  
She smiled at me.  
" all signed up then?"

"Yes... its very exciting"

Kendall gave me a kiss on the cheek.  
"Told you she was amazing" he added

I smiled. So did James.

kendall had made us all a nice meal. i was so hungry. james didnt stop at all unless it was to use the toilet on the way back for reno.

my mind whirred with thoughts of kendall and i, and the thought of the kiss i had just witnessed. how the hell had that just happened. and james, oh my god he must have the patience of a saint to have put up with all this for so long.

as i found myself questioning if i was up to the challange of kendall as my boyfriend, he stood up.  
"would you like a lift back to your hotel?" he asked.

if my face hadn't given me away that i really didnt want to be sloppy seconds from sheriden lloyd tonite then my refusal was just about to.

"um.." i started.

"actually i need to go over a few things with paisley. i will drop her off if you dont mind" james cut in

"no thats fine" i said and smiled at kendall.

i said my goodbyes to both of them. james made sure that kendall was out of the door at the same time as us.

"paisley... that kiss. it was a one off. dont let it put you off okay"

"if your so sure of that why did you wait until kendall had left your house before you took me to the hotel?"

james sighed but added a chuckle.  
"ive got a funny feeling that sheriden will tell me all about it when i get home"

"and if she doesn't?" i asked.

"if she doesn't then ... im just going to let it go... it was a one off pais"

"james can i ask you something? ... its a bit weird but i dont know who else to ask"

james glanced at me, the night lights from the road flashed on his face as he drove the car.  
"sure... shoot"

"im not very... experienced when it comes to... you know... it. and kendall said he has only slept with 4 people. he seems a lot more, advanced than me."

"well i dont know about the only 4 girls thing, as far as im aware thats all he has under his belt. logan is more the one that gets the girls back after a show... that kind of thing, but ive not shared a bus with kendall since he got together with sheriden... it was weird before and its weirder now. and your only 19 paisley. he isnt expecting anything from you... just enjoy each other"

"your keen for him to be with me arent you?" i said

"i think it will do everyone good if he got a girl... he hasnt so much as looked at anyone since sheriden so you must have something he likes pais'"

i nodded.

"paisley... dont take this the wrong way but im going to send you off shopping tomorrow. your look is amazing but we need to diva you up a bit... my treat" james said.

"i have taken that slightly the wrong way" i laughed.

"right well here we are, they are expecting you, so just check yourself in. i will send some things over for you tomorrow... and i will need you in studio by 3. i will run through a stage set with you for saturday"

"thanks james. you run a much more oiled machine than i have experienced so far"

james smiled " we will make it work this time"

james got my bags out for me and i made my way in to the hotel room.


	19. Chapter 19

**Sheridens story**

"So your stuck with me for a while longer kendall. I'm honestly fine if you wanna leave" now James had phoned to clarify he was stuck in reno for the night I was awkwardly stuck with my ex boyfriend.

"No I promised him. He said you still get sick from the... it." Kendall argued.

"Well I'm not being funny kendall but what are we going to do?"

Kendall gave me the look that I once knew as the let's have sex look. He was joking of course. But I hit him and laughed.

"Just hang out shoo" he said in the end.

"How come you still call me shoo?" I asked him as I stretched out on the sofa.

"I'm not sure. Just habit. Would you prefer something else?" He seemed offended.

"No, just Carlos has always called me shoo, James I'm mostly Sheri now and logie I'm princess"

"Well I could just call you sheriden" he smiled.

"No, you only say that when I'm in trouble" I laughed " shoo is fine.

"Sheriden..." he smiled " the heroin... what was it like?"

"That's a dumb question kendall even for you"

"I'm curious thats all, did anyone tell you about me in new york?" Kendall asked matter of factly.

"James said you got high as a fucking kite, he never said what it was"

"It was Coke, done it a few times now ,Danny on the bus has it, that's where the heroin came from. It's not a habit or nothing though"

"Kendall it never starts off as a habit. Learn from my mistakes. And for christsake never tell James or Carlos that heroin came from Danny"

"Yeah I'm off everything but the fags now. You do a good scare tactic. I think it will haunt me forever what happened on that day"

"What did I look like when you found me?" I asked curious.

"Dead! You where so white, naked. Your face and hair was covered in sick..."

"Naked?... oh the towel?" I realised. Great another embarrassment .

"Yeah you must of had a seizure or something. Worst part is, last time I got to put my lips against yours and its to do mouth to mouth covered in puke"

I looked at kendall. He spoke in a jokey way but I could tell I had scarred him for life.

"I'm sorry kendall" I held his hand " thank you for saving my life"

"Shit shoo, let's stop talking bout this "

"Easy for you, I'm still trying to get my body better"

"Is that the shivering thing" kendall asked.

"Yeah, I've been sick a couple of times too"

"Well I got this you can have today, coz that shivering thing freaks me out" kendall took his sweater off and handed it to me.

I smiled and layed it over me as I sat on the L shaped sofa. It smelt of kendall. It was nice.

"It freaked Logan out too, so don't worry about it. Only shivers huh" I said

"Yeah I know, but ... well look at you" kendall waved a hand in my direction.

"What do you mean" I asked offended.

"Shoo I'm surprised James hasn't said anything... you have lost a load of weight. It's scary to see you so..small"

I took more offence. I knew I had lost a few pounds but I had been unwell.  
"James has mentioned it. He is making sure I get food in me even when he knows I can't stomach it"

"Sorry I just worry about you shoo... Sorry, I know you get funny bout your weight" kendall gave me a hug, leaning over from his place on the sofa

I smiled "least you care enough to say... your a good friend kendall. I would be lost without you"

"Yeah I know, you cat walk types are hard work. Honestly sheriden our lives would be dull if you weren't in them" kendall smiled, showing off the dimples that I used to adore so much.

"Har Har kendall, glad I keep you all so amused" came my sarcastic reply.

"Hey you know Logan fucked this girl on tour, she was..." I interrupted

"Yeah the girl with the... fetish?" I laughed.  
So did kendall.

"Oh my god, I've never heard anything like it. If I wasn't laughing so much I would of jumped on to the James and Carlos bus" he joked.

"Yeah James told me, why does he do it all the time, he must of had more girls than I've had hot dinners"

Kendall eyed my small frame as if to say even his small handfull of girls was more than hot dinners than I had ever had.

"I dunno, he likes it. They chuck themselves at him. What's a logie to do?" Kendall smiled at the memory of Logan and the demonic red head he had a one night stand with on the tour bus.

"Paisley asked me how many girls had I slept with. How many guys have you had?" Kendall had never talked like this with me before. I found it highly amusing.

"Too many kendall. I'm a lot older than you as I'm sure your mom has told you, and have lived a lot of life" kendall laughed.

" just say, cmon i won't tell amazing James"

"Amazing James already knows, and is at the top of my list on the best sex ever" I winked at him.

"That's below the belt shoo" kendall chuckled.

"I'm in the 300's put it that way" I was ashamed to say it out loud but a drinking habit, and cocaine addiction at a young age leads to a load of bad sex for a model.

"Fuck... I'm on 4" he laughed.

"I wish mine was 4, James has had more than me. That boy is too good looking for his own good, and I bet you 100 dollars that Logan has had over a thousand girls" I said.

"Carlos hasn't slept with many girls though has he?" Kendall seeked reassurance.

"No he is on 8 I think" I didn't really know.

"Have you ever... with Carlos?" Kendall asked sheepishly.

"Eurgh kendall no way"

Kendall laughed at me.  
"Sorry just checking" he smiled.

"So James said Logan will take over from baby sitting me at nine... I'm honestly okay to be left alone"

"Shoo stop trying to get rid of me. I'm not budging til anyone gets here... why Logan, I thought carlos was your keeper"

I frowned at kendall.  
"Carlos has been busy... he may of got himself a new lady friend"

"Really?... why am I always last to find these things out?"

"Well its only me and you that know now"

"Oh i see... you want a drink?" Kendall asked wiggling his empty tea cup at me.

"Yeah okay, I'll come out with you"

I followed kendall out to the kitchen.

"Can't believe you and James are going to live together..."

My stomach turned from getting up too fast from the sofa.

"...yeah I know. But we are so ready..."

"You alright?" Kendall asked me.

"Er yeah fine... just feel a bit sick again... I don't want any tea...now thanks"

Kendall just got the one cup out for him.

"You brits and your tea" he smiled"  
I smiled back but then had to run to the bathroom to be sick.

God when is this ever going to end I thought to myself. I could feel the cold setting in again now too.

Kendall knocked on the door after a few minutes.  
"Sheriden you okay in there? I've got a glass of water for you" I could hear him call through the door.  
I splashed my face with water. Looking at myself in the mirror I looked so rough.

I was such an idiot. How the fuck had I got myself in to such a mess.

Kendall walked in.  
"Hey... you all good now?" He said in a sympathetic voice.

"Yeah think so" I walked back in the lounge and put kendalls sweater on.

He smiled and sat down next to me channel surfing untill he settled on watching old friends re runs.

"I'm a total loser aren't I" I shook my head as I spoke.

"You don't think that's all, your like me, the first big idea that strikes you, you go for without thinking about the aftermath"

I nodded, kendall was right about that.  
I layed my head on his lap and pulled my legs up to my chest trying to make the sickness ease off.

I must of fallen to sleep, the next thing I knew my cell was ringing and a light tap came at the door.

I got up from kendalls lap to answer it.

"Hey princess, I'm so sorry I'm late"

It was Logan. The time read almost half ten.

I yawned at him  
"It's okay I was asleep anyway"  
I made my way back over to my spot on the sofa and rested my head back on kendalls lap.

Logan made himself at home and the three of us watched the friends marathon untill about one.

"Right missy Lloyd. It's your bed time" Logan announced.

I laughed at Logan, but I didn't argue hopefully I would feel better by morning.

I took kendalls sweater off and handed it back to him, but he left it on the sofa saying something about save it for tomorrow when he is back to relieve Logan from night duty.

Kendall left giving me a pat on the head. Which I found funny.  
Logan being the comedy genious that he is brought round some old fashioned night hats. He made me wear one while he donned the other and took a picture of us both .  
He sent it to Twitter with the caption "sleepover at sheridenlloyds"

Logan made himself comfy on the sofa and I got tucked in to bed.  
I was so lucky to have these guys as my family.

I woke up the next morning about 8, I called James... I missed him so much. We had spent so much time together recently it felt wrong to not have him about.  
He was in good spirits as always. He teased me about my hat that Logan made me wear and said the windscreen will be fixed soon, so he should be back around 4 ish, and could I please sort out a contract for paisley.

That was all fine. Logan tried to entice me round to my own house but I didn't want to go out just yet, especially there.

Besides I had another meeting with my lawyer and kendalls today about kacey which was handy if James wanted a quicky contract whipped up for paisley.

The day seemed to fly by. Logan left as kendall and his legal entourage turned up.  
He was taking this kacey thing very seriously. But all was going according to plan.  
Kendall drew out paisleys contract.  
6 months .then an opportunity to re sign after depending on how well it goes.

Kendall had brought with him the ingrediants to a Thai meal. I watched as he busied his way through James' kitchen preparing everything. Kendall was famous for his Thai.

"So are you a bit nervous about seeing paisley after she said she loves you?" I asked kendall as he mixed things in James' bowls.

"No not really... are you?"

"Huh? Why would I be nervous?" I asked him as I walked out to the lounge to pick kendall sweater up. The chills had begun again.

"Well you tend to slip back in to your British accent when you ask a question you have obviously taken the rare opportunity to think over" he smiled.

I smiled back. I wasn't aware of this fact.  
"Okay you caught me, it will be weird seeing you with someone, but you deal with me and James so I'm sure it will be fine... least paisley isn't blonde, it won't bring back those shitty memories"

"I will regret that blonde for the rest of my life sheriden" he gave me a small smile then returned to his food preperations.

"I regret a lot of things I've done kendall so don't worry about it... we are both still here having a good time together. Friends"

Kendall turned and smiled, I got busy putting his sweater on. Then text James that dinner was on kendall this eve and that paisleys contract was ready to sign.

Fox started barking so I knew James had just pulled up. I peaked through the window making sure the car was in tact... it was.

James and paisley walked in. I thanked her for her efforts in my bathroom drama the other day and told her kendall was in the kitchen. She walked through.

James held me by my waist. I kissed him. I had missed him so much. He smelt incredible.  
He did his usual of checking I was okay.

"Paisleys contract is on your desk ready to go, it has everything you said tied in to it"

"Brilliant, thanks Sheri. You and kendall friends again?" He asked.

"Yeah its been nice actually. Was weird at first but had a few good chats... cleared the air"

"Good, right let's get paisley all signed up. I think I'm more excited than she is" James grinned and slung his arm round my shoulder.  
"What's this?" He smiled pulling up the fabric of kendalls sweater that I still had on.

"Oh its his" I nodded toward the kitchen "I still had the shakes but they aren't as bad now"

"Good" James winked and we walked out to the kitchen.

Wow. Sprang to mind when I saw paisley and kendall kissing.  
Kendall looked very in control of everything. Little pangs of jelousy hit my heart.

I could feel my eyes widen. I wanted them to stop. I didn't like seeing it, and I felt so bad that kendall had silently put up with James and I all this time.

James gave a cough and invited paisley to sign the contract.

Kendall just stared at me for several seconds.  
I didn't know what to say.

"Hug?" He finally said

I walked up to kendall and fell in to his arms. This was the moment both of us had needed since I got with James. Finally an even balance.

"I'm sorry for everything that went wrong" he said and kissed the top of my head.

"Don't fuck it up with her kendall" I looked him in the eye.

"I won't shoo... no regrets from now on"

"Regrets are shit" I said as kendall rested his forehead on mine.  
What went through my head next was odd. But I kissed kendall on the lips. Least our last kiss wasn't me lifeless and covered in sick.  
I parted from him but only to be met by his lips again.  
My heart ached away for the loss of our love, our life and our baby.  
It was more intimate than I would of liked but I knew I could finally move on after this.  
Leave the whole kendall, sheriden saga behind.  
Kendall pulled away and rested on my forehead again.

"I'm Sorry" kendall said.

"It's okay... I'm sorry too, for James , the baby. Don't hurt her kendall"

"I won't shoo I promise, James loves you more than I ever could shoo. Don't give him any more of your shit okay"

I laughed at him." I promise" I. said and gave kendall another hug.

" you ready to let go" I asked, not meaning the hug but more our past.

"I think I'm almost ready yeah. But I will love you to the ends of the earth sheriden. I will always want to be a daddy to our baby... but I will settle to be an uncle for you and James one day"  
He laughed.

"I would like that" I whispered.

"Sheriden I'm happy that you are that beautiful, you have had over 300 guys yet you still fell in love with me" he smiled.

I smiled back at him.  
"When it was good it was amazing" I added."paisley is in for some fun times".  
I let go of kendall and sat back in my usual seat at the oversized breakfast bar.

I ate a load of kendalls Thai. I think smelling it cook for most of the afternoon had adapted my stomach.

James annoyed me slightly, he offered to take paisley to her hotel robbing kendall of his chance to be alone with her.

As kendall went out the door he gave me a wink. James and paisley left shortly after.

I let out a deep sigh... alone at last.  
And I felt so much better.  
I felt all the problems I did have had some how vanished.

I showered and dug out some of my sexy lingerie. James must be wanting it so bad. I think this must of been the longest we had spent in the same zip code and not had sex.  
But I felt ready now. I wanted to please him.

I layed my lingerie out on the bed and dried my self with the towel.

Once ready I put the brazier on... it didn't fit, it was so big on me.  
I couldn't understand it.  
I put the underwear on and it looked so baggy and awful.

I rummaged for another set but it was a similar story.  
I looked in james' full length mirror at my self naked.  
I was shocked. How had I honestly not seen this before.  
Kendall was right. I looked terrible. James would be disgusted at my boney body.

I put my dressing robe on and sat on the edge of the bed.  
I looked at my reflection in the mirror and burst in to tears.

James walked in. Took one look at my face then sat down next to me and held my hand.

"What's up Sheri? You were fine a minute ago"

"Nothing it doesnt matter, I've just realised how stupid I've been"

"You wanna talk about it" he asked.

"No ... oh god I'm disgusting, how can you even look at me"

James chuckled and wrapped an arm around me and gave me a squeeze.  
"Sheriden your not disgusting. It was only a kiss..."

"What?" I asked confused.

"I saw you both having your little... moment"  
Fear filled my airways with James words.

"What do you mean" I asked.

James gave me a small smile which i interpreted as forgiveness.  
"Kendall kissing you" he simply replied.

"Jesus James. That wasn't what you... fuck I have no clue what I was thinking... I'm sorry".

James looked a bit confused. He didnt get the confused look very often because he was so calculated.

"I thought that's what you meant you were a disgusting person for... its only a kiss" James gave me a squeeze again.

"No I meant my body James" I whispered.

"What? Sheriden don't do this!" James was annoyed that I had found yet another problem to battle against.

I started to cry again "I was going to surprise you..." my sobs cut in to my explanation."but I...I look awful James".

James rolled his eyes then clocked my lingerie on the bed.  
"Let's see the damage" he smiled and tugged at my robe.

But I wrapped my arms tight around myself.  
"I can't" I cried.

"Sheriden, you will be back to normal in no time. You know I wouldn't allow you to stay like this... let me be the judge on wether I can bare to look at your body" his tone was sarcastic, again not something I was used to from James.

He kissed my neck... it was my favorite place... a smile cracked on my face. James attempted again to pull at my robe.  
He succeeded with only a small struggle from me.  
He pulled the robe from my shoulders and worked his kisses down.  
His hands were warm.

James gently lay me down on the bed. He de robed me completly.  
If he was shocked at my skinnyness then he hid it well.

"Love you Lloyd" he whispered.  
I smiled at him and he stood up from the bed and undressed. He walked out to the bathroom, I took this as my opportunity to cover up, I got a night shirt out from my drawer and quickly pulled it on.

James walked back in the room, he tutted at me then pulled me in to his arms.

"I've missed us so much" he said. His voice was husky.

I wrapped my arms around James neck and kissed him.  
I could taste the mint on his breath from him just brushing his teeth in the bathroom.

I had missed me and James so much too.  
The Passion, the last few days had been so sensible, so caring. But I missed James' Passion.

Our kisses were hard and fast. I wanted James maslow desperately.  
James picked me up, his hands on my thighs and slipped him self inside me.

It felt immense. Our kissing just got more erratic, as did our breathing.  
James backed me up against his bedroom wall. I couldn't really call this making love. James was fucking me. Fucking me so hard.  
I moaned out in pleasure. I hadn't felt so at ease in so long.  
James Definately was well over due a sex session. I had never felt him so hard inside me.  
He went so deep it almost hurt but I loved it. Loved every second.  
The passion that James oozed in the bedroom was nothing I had experienced before.  
I always put it down to him just being naturally good at everything but I thought then it was because we loved each other so much.

I screamed out his name as I came.  
James loved it. My appreciation was welcomed by him and his sexy smile.  
He climaxed soon after then layed me on our bed, and flopped down beside me to catch his breath.

He laughed "oh my god... I needed that".

I smiled at him as I rolled over in to his arms.

I circled my fingers over his chest, watching his breathing gradually slow.

"So... this kiss with kendall..." James asked

I sighed. I had forgotton about that since we got lost in the moment.  
"I don't know what to say apart from sorry... for me it was farewell" I sighed again.

"I know it was farewell Sheri. Kendall made sure he got the most out of it" James chuckled.

I smiled " yes he did... but I owed him that in a way"

"How come?" James asked.

"He said he was upset that the last time he would ever kiss me I was half dead and covered in sick"

James sighed at the memory of the day in my bathroom.  
He changed the subject.  
"If you feel up to it tomorrow would you like to go shopping?"

"I would actually... what are you after?" I asked.

"It's not for me, paisley needs a new wardrobe. I promised I would treat her"

"You want me to go out for the first time since... shopping with paisley?" I asked astonished.

"Yep... it will do you good" James replied.

"Okay... but I'm taking bobby with me. I'm not up to dealing with paps yet and paisley wouldn't have a clue" my reasoning bargain was bobby. Bobby is just shy of 6ft 6' and built like a house. He has been my on off security measure for many years.

"Bobby it is" James said happily.

"Sheriden... why do you always say you won't marry me" James added out of the blue.

I turned on to my stomach and looked James in the eye.

"I get scared I guess. Why change what works..."

"So if I did ever ask you, would you refuse?" James' eyes searched my own for a clue.

"I guess we won't know untill that day arrives" I smirked at him.

"Sheriden?" James said with a smirk to match my own "will you marry me?"

I laughed and shook my head to say no. Then climbed on him, my legs straddled over his still naked waist.

"Love you maslow" I whispered.  
He smiled his American smile at me.


	20. Chapter 20

**Paisleys story**

I had a good nights sleep in my hotel room last night.  
Kendall woke me up with a text message. It read ' I will see you at studio later. Dinner tonight? Xxx.'

I was still miffed about him and sheridens kissing last night but they had there reasons I guess. I replied, my good mood giving me courage to send a flirty text.  
"Can't wait for studio, and just dinner Mr Schmidt? Xx"

He replied to that with " what happened to slow is good? hahahahaha xxx"

I got my self ready, I wondered what James was sending over for me.  
The door knocked before too long and I answered it to sheriden Lloyd and quite possibly the largest man I had ever seen in my life.

"Hi, come in" I said to sheriden and her giant. He had to duck to walk in through the door.

"Morning paisley, James has asked me to give you these" she handed me a brown envelope."and I was wondering if I could tag along shopping with you?"

"Um... sure that would be great..." oh god. This was awful. I didn't want to be near sheriden today. Let alone go shopping with her... her fashion was probably a lot more expensive than mine ever could be.  
Looking at her now she wore a maxi dress with a denim jacket. It was casual but she rocked it. I expect the dress cost more than the entire contents of my life.

"Oh this is bobby by the way. His fashion sense is second to none" sheriden grinned at bobby the giant.  
Bobby wore a tshirt that could be used as a bed sheet and cargo pants.

I looked at bobby and he laughed a deep booming laugh. This made me laugh too.

I opened up the envelope that was from James.  
Inside was 200 dollars cash, a credit card with the record label name on it, and a set of keys.

I was blown away by the kindness of James maslow.

"The cash is to tide you over for living, food etc. The credit card is for you to go mad on today shopping, and the keys are a thank you gift from James and I for doing what you did the other day" sheriden said.

I held the keys out, it had a BMW motif on the fob.

"Oh my... sheriden I can't accept all this"

"You have to" she smiled "it was in the contract you signed yesterday... you should always read the small print paisley. Your car won't be here untill tomorrow morning but I think you will like it"

"Thankyou... both, so much" I whispered out.

She smiled at me "Well I have a limo waiting down stairs. So whenever you are ready..."

"I'll just grab my bag" I said.

"Oh paisley I would recommend sun glasses. Today will be a bit odd for both of us, you don't want to look like a rabbit caught in the headlights" again sheriden smiled at me.

I nodded and popped my sunglasses on my face as we left my hotel room.

Good news travelled quick in LA. Photographers snapped away at sheriden the minute we left the hotel.  
I immediately understood why bobby had been invited shopping with us.  
Not many people would agree but I felt sheriden was a good person to learn the fame game from.

Once we hit the shops I found it hard to buy anything knowing it wasn't my money on the credit card.  
Sheriden however grabbed a load of size 6 for me off the rails and basically forced me up to pay.  
She was very friendly, not the sheriden I had known before all the crap had happened.

We went in to the most expensive shops I had ever seen.  
If I so much as glanced at anything that took my fancy then sheriden would have it taken up to the counter for me.  
I felt like a complete super star. I loved it.

Sheriden took me to lunch. We sat together but bobby had his own table next door to us. His presence warned off any one that dared to approach sheriden.

"Bloody paparazzi" sheriden said.

They had followed us pretty much everywhere today.

"Least you have bobby" I smiled.

"Yes, bobby has been around for a while" she laughed.

"So... you and kendall huh" she added.

I blushed, I really didn't want to talk about kendall after seeing sheriden with her tongue down his throat last night.  
"Fingers crossed" was the only suited reply I could think of.

"He is in love with you paisley" sheriden said.  
I almost choked on my food

She smiled at me.  
"I'm not so sure of that" I practically coughed out at her.

She tilted her head and smirked, she reminded me of James... they must spend far too much time together.

"Well we best get going soon, studio at three... James is going to work you hard" sheriden winked at me.

We finished our food and made our way to the limosine.  
It took us about 45 minutes to get to the studio.

I wondered what james was going to make me do.

Walking in I was greeted by James, he introduced me properly to Carlos pena. Logan was also there, and kendall finally greeted me with a shy dimpled grin and a kiss on the cheek.

"Pais what's the largest number you have perfomed in front of?" James asked me.

"Um...about 250 i think" I answered.

"Right so how do you feel about singing infront of 1500 people? Most being fairly famous"

"Scared" I replied.

"Scared is normal, all of us still get nervous before a show, especially kendall" James said, I looked at kendall and he gave me a smile.

"Right I want you to get on that stage and sing hallaloujah to us. The Mic is on" James looked up to the rehersal stage.

I gulped down the lump that was in my throat.

"James..." I whispered.

James smiled at me.  
"Go on its good warm up"

I got on the stage and took the Mic.  
James sat down at the piano that was in the room and started playing the intro.

I sang... I sang just as James had told me to in the hotel. It sounded so much more powerful with the Mic.

I had a round of applause from everyone which made me blush but I felt I did my self proud.

Over the next hour James had me work my stage presence. It was fun. I enjoyed wanting to look at ease up there and he was pleased with how I came across.

"Right, nothing even matters?" James announced.

Shit! He had managed to talk whoever was in charge of big time rush in to letting me sing with them.  
This scared me to death.

"Did you learn the parts I told you to?" James asked.

I nodded.  
"Brilliant, well when you have finished song number three you will introduce us in, and sit down on the edge of the stage, we will join you down there. Just before you get to the end we talked about don't forget to stand up. Kendall will stand with you and you will both finish the song with the big ending".

Oh my god I was so nervous. James had practically given me all his parts at the end, and I sang every other line in the rest of the song.  
The song was easy to split up because there was so much in it. james had totally rearranged the song.

I nodded again to James.  
"Paisley... you alright? He checked.

"Yeah I'm terrified" I laughed.

I introduced them and sat down, Logan sat next to me one side with Carlos and kendall the other with James on his end.

The music began and Logan started off.

as the song got to the end I stood up sheriden stopped the music.

"Paisley you need more space, It didn't look very graceful".she said.

The boys spaced out a bit but James didn't like it.

"No kendall you get up first then hold your hand out for paisley. Paisley just swoop your legs round and your up"he said.

We all agreed and tried again.  
It worked.  
James liked it that kendall and I stayed holding hands. He asked us to keep that for the real thing, I didn't mind that. I think kendall didn't let go of my hand because he could feel how bad I was shaking with nerves.

After I got through 4 hours of practice James was confident that I stole the stage.

"Well done paisley. Brilliant absolutly brilliant".

I was told to come back tomorrow for one last run and I was going somewhere with sheriden called Evans I think, before the actual gala on Saturday.

I met up with kendall after my rehersal, fully aware of all the pairs of eyes that we had on us.

Kendall smiled " you were amazing"he said to me and kissed me on the lips.

I smiled at him " still want dinner?" I asked.

"Yep sounds good... fancy a take out round mine...?Kendall asked.

I eyed him, wondering if I had got myself in to a sticky situation with my flirty text this morning.

"Pais..." he pulled me in to his arms."its just food" he chuckled.

I smiled at him and got caught in the moment. We ended up having a rather raunchy kiss. But i think I stepped it up a bit so sheriden could see whatever she could do... I could do better.

I could hear wolf whistles coming from Logan.  
I turned to see him and James grinning at me, sheriden had her back to us talking to Carlos.

"See you later guys" kendall shouted out to the others, I gave a small wave and we left hand in hand.  
I got in kendalls familiar car. He carried out all my shopping for me.

"You went with sheriden then?" He laughed.

"Kendall... are you and sheriden... you know, Definately over?" I asked him, it was now or never.

Kendall smiled.  
"I'm glad your asking" he said.

"What? Why would you be glad I'm asking that?" I felt annoyed at him.

"I saw you in the reflection yesterday... after I kissed her. So I'm glad you are asking instead of just ignoring it... but yes we will never be doing anything like that again"

Okay I wasn't expecting that!  
"So... what you fancy for dinner?" I asked him.

He laughed." Is that it?"

I looked at him"kendall I really like you, it was crap to see you do that ten minutes after I had kissed you myself but James talked me round. I do really like you" I said.

"You said the other day you loved me?" He smiled.

I blushed."I got caught in the moment... it seems to be going around at the moment" my voice was sour.

Kendall nodded and started the car.  
We headed to his house. It was a lot tidier than the first time I had been round.

After we ate dinner I felt a bit awkward. I wasn't sure what kendall expected of me.

"Pais' do you wanna stay over. Just slow still" he added on the end.

"Why is going slow so important to you now kendall?" I asked bemused.

"Because everyone keeps telling me how I fuck things up by rushing in to things" he blurted it out.

"Okay... but what feels right to you in here" I tapped his chest.

Kendall thought for a moment. His answer he gave me made my insides melt.  
"Everything about you feels right in here pais".

I kissed him.  
We spent a long time kissing. Kendall caressed my breasts. He really did like big boobs. But he still insisted in taking things slow.

I was happy with that even if it was all backwards.

I did stay the night though. I loved being with him. He really was the male version of me.

We layed in his bed knowing full well that sex wasn't an option. I think that's maybe why he liked the go slow scenario so much. It made it so much harder to resist each other.  
But we talked about everything and anything. And kissed a lot.  
I loved it all. He was so caring.

I really did love him, but I wasn't going to say it again.

I fell asleep but got woken up by a loud banging.  
Whoever it was really wanted kendalls attention.

Kendall woke up and looked at me.  
The time read 2:30 am.

"Who the fuck is that" kendall said, his voice gorgeous and husky from his sleep.

He got up and chucked a tee shirt on and some shorts.

"Hey wait!" I whispered "what if its Ryan?"

Kendall rolled his eyes and muttered something about can't maslow sort anything out, so I presumed James had told kendall about his run in with Ryan .  
Kendall made his way down the stairs, I stayed in his bedroom with my head out the door listening.

"Your fucking kidding me" I heard kendall say. I grabbed my phone ready to dial 911, but kendall opened up his door.  
I poked my head further out the bedroom door.  
I could make out a dark haired girl sat on kendalls step. Her back towards me.

"What the fuck do you want?" Kendall greeted her with.

"I'm... so... sorry...!" The slurred out cries came.

"I've got absolutly nothing to say to you" kendall told the girl.  
My mind boggled, who was it?  
It wasn't sheriden, and she was the only girl I had ever seen in a 10foot radius of kendall.  
I think sheriden liked it that way. I felt special that I was being welcomed in to the btr fold.

Right fuck it paisley, I thought to myself. You march down those stairs, grab kendall and give that slut her marching orders.  
I chucked on one of kendalls tee shirts to cover myself up. I was only wearing underwear.

As I got down stairs kendall was mostly out side he held the door near on shut behind him, I could hear him talking to the girl.

My blood boiled, I was buggered if something else was going to try and take my kendall from me.

I patted my hair down, opened the door and said " who is it baby?" As i put an arm around kendalls waist.

As the girl turned around, anger filled every bone in my body... kacey delta.  
I lunged myself at her but kendall grabbed me.  
Kacey stood up in defence and tried to have a pop back at me, but kendall stood inbetween us both.

"You ruined my fucking life. you Bitch kacey. I lost everything because of you" I screamed at her.

Kacey didn't say anything. She was drunk, and dressed like she had just come from a night club.

I spat in her face. She laughed at me.

"Why is that Bitch here?" I said to kendall through gritted teeth.

Kacey just sat back down on the step.

Kendall had to force me back inside his house.  
"She wants sheriden to drop her case..." he said.

"So why is she here?" I hissed.

"Because she doesn't want to cause sheriden any more problems"

"Problems... fucking problems, sheriden almost died because of that stupid Bitch".

"Yes I know..." kendall agreed.

"So why is she still sat on your doorstep" I asked, my arms crossed.

"She is going to lose everything... her house, her car, her parents house. Practically everything her family have."

"She should of thought of that before"

"Calm down pais okay" he held both my looked me in the eye.

I took a deep breath."phone James" I said.

Kendall took a deep breath too. I thought that this was the only idea he had come up with also.

"I will phone him" he said.  
I handed kendall my iPhone that was still very tightly gripped in my hand.

Kendall let the phone ring out but no answer.  
"He is asleep" kendall concluded.

"Give me the fucking phone"  
I rang James' number again.

"Paisley? What's the matter?" A sleepy sounding James answered.

"Hi, I'm at kendalls and something has just come up... or rather some one"  
I explained to James what was going on and what kacey wanted, and... well to be honest I was very fair. I felt that out of all of us James had the right above any of us to tell sheriden that kacey wanted forgiveness. And it should be left up to him to decide to give it.

James went silent down the phone.

"Okay pais." He said eventually "Thank you for letting me know. Give me a few minutes okay"

The line went dead and I told kendall that James was on his way.

Kendall relayed this information to kacey. She was so drunk. I really didn't think it was a good idea for James to come round now. I hope he wouldn't wake sheriden up.

Kendall closed his door and sat with me on his black leather sofa.

We waited inside for about 20 minutes with still no sign of James. Kacey was still sat on the step. Kendall wouldn't let her in the house.  
Then finally we saw the reflection of car lights pull in to kendalls drive.

I got up and looked through the window.  
"Kendall look" I said, kendall got up and came over to the window where I stood.  
It wasnt James' car it was the police.  
James must of thought it over and decided he had no forgiveness for kacey. Almost losing sheriden was too much for him.

Kacey didn't go quietly. She knew she was going to get in to more shit now having tried to talk kendall round after court proceedings had begun.

I got a text from James about 5 minutes after the police had arrived. It read " you gave kacey the option she never gave any of us. She doesn't deserve to be heard out. As far as sheriden and I are concerned kacey delta isn't losing enough."

I wondered if James did talk it through with sheriden or just hates kacey enough on his own for the problems she caused, to decide that.

It was almost 4 in the morning after the police left, I was wide awake.

"Breakfast?" Kendall asked.

"No im too wound up to eat" I confessed.

Kendall thought for a moment before speaking.

"So I know what's good for relaxing..." kendall said in the end. He had a grin on his face.

"What's that then?" I asked,

"Swimming... I got a pool out back". He kept his grin.

"Swimming at 4 in the morning?" It actually sounded good..."I dont have a bikini or anything"

"I know" kendalls grin widened and he started taking his tee shirt off and began walking towards the door leading to his back garden.  
I followed in amusement.

Kendall opened the doors up and stepped out in to the warm LA air. His shorts came off and he dived naked in to his pool.

"Cmon pais. You love swimming"

Yes I loved swimming but naked swimming was something else... maybe I was too boring.  
I wondered if him a sheriden would often skinny dip in kendalls pool when they had been together.

That made my mind up, I slowly lifted up kendalls tee shirt exposing my naked breasts.  
Kendalls face was a picture. I had never been so glad that I got my boob job done.  
I slipped my underwear down and jumped in the pool.

The water was freezing.

"Oh my god" I screamed as I came up for air.  
Kendall laughed at me, the water not bothering him.

"Sorry the heater hasn't been on for months because I was on the road"

I swam up and wrapped my arms around kendalls shoulders.

His body was so warm.  
"You tricked me" I scolded him with my sad face.

He chuckled at me, showing the gorgeous dimples on his face that I was falling more and more in love with everyday.  
"I'm sorry... baby" he said still smiling, it took me a while to get the joke, but then I remembered me grabbing his waist and calling him baby when kacey sat on the doorstep.  
I blushed but it was probably too dark for him to notice.  
"Well... you are my baby... kind of" I defended my actions.

Kendall kissed me " so your kind of mine and I'm kind of yours?" He whispered.

"I think I would like that" I smiled back at him.

"Cool... so paisley prince.. your my girlfriend" he listened to the sound of his words. He smiled.

"Oh my fucking god... kendall schmidt is my boyfriend" I screamed out a laugh. My imaginary ticks against my claims to fame just went insane.

I very much liked how that sounded.

I kissed him and pushed my naked body up against him.  
Kendall liked this.

"Does this mean the slow rule has gone now?" I asked breaking away from kendalls lips.

Kendall smiled " no its still in place" he said.

I found this hard to believe seeing as we clung on to each other completly naked in a swimming pool. But I think kendall wanted to take things slow more for his sake than mine.

I was happy with that.  
After we had messed around in the pool and coming close to breaking the slow rule, we got out of the water.  
Any tension that I did have from kaceys visit had definately all gone now.

After I got out the shower I had a rummage through all the clothes sheriden had helped me choose.

I wondered how much was on the credit card. All these clothes easily maxed up to about 4 thousand dollars.

I picked out a pretty floral dress. It was mostly white, my dark Italian skin looked good against it.

I towel dried my hair, I would usually straighten the life out of it but it once dry it would show a natural wave.

I walked out to kendalls kitchen.  
He complimented on my dress  
"You free today until the studio?" Kendall asked as he poured me out a coffee.

"Yeah kind of... James and sheriden bought me a car, its being delivered to the hotel today. Im kind of excited, its a BMW" I boasted.

Kendall laughed " so I've heard" he smiled " I will drive you round and you can take me for a spin if you like"

"I do like" I smiled back.

Kendall and I had ran through the gala routine with me quickly. Gave me tips on how to calm my nerves and even some helpful talking points when meeting new people.

He did promise to try and stay by my side as much as he could.

We got up to my hotel room just after 10am I was feeling tired by this time. The early start to the day was catching up with me.

I yawned."why don't you chill out on the bed pais" kendall. said to me.

"Do you mind? I feel bad dragging you round here then just going to sleep"

"Nope I don't mind, I feel shattered to" he confessed.

We both lay on my hotel bed, I didn't bother to get undressed but kendall folded a blanket over me.

He layed down next to me smiling.  
"What are you grinning at kendall?" I yawned at him.

"I'm not grinning, I'm smiling" he corrected me

"Well why are you smiling at me then" I asked again.

"Because your beautiful" he said simply.  
I would of blushed but I was too tired, I pulled the blanket over kendall too and snuggled in to him. He wrapped his arms around me.

I'm not sure how fast I fell asleep but I woke up feeling ready to go. The excitement of my new car filled my stomach with butterflies.

I looked at kendall fast asleep. He was so handsome.  
I smoothed his hair down away from his face and kissed him, his eyes opened up.

"Hey" I greeted him with and kissed him again.

"Hey" he replied. His voice dry and sexy sounding.

He pulled me down for another kiss. This time it was seductive. His hands felt there way under my dress and along my thighs.  
I really wanted more from him this time. I felt ready to chuck the slow rule out of our lives.

Kendall remained attatched to my lips but pulled my dress up at the same time,his kisses only leaving me briefly to get the dress over my head.

His hands moved there way around my naked body.

I remained kissing him, and allowing him to touch me for several minutes.  
I wasn't sure if he wanted the slow rule still in place or not, i was in two minds wether to try and undress him.

I ran my fingers down his top, then slipped my hand inside it, feeling the warmth of his chest.

Running my fingers over his abs and playfully caressing his nipples.

We still kissed slowly. Kendalls tongue teasing my own. Making me want more.

I think he wanted more. I moved my hand down his chest to the button on his pants. With a quick flip of my finger it came undone.

He knew what was being offered on the table now, and he hadnt tried to stop me as yet so I carried on.

I was so turned on.  
My hand made its way down kendalls pants. I felt his hardness in my palm. A smile cracked on my face at the thought of what was to come. Kendall must of felt the smile on my lips, I opened my eyes to catch a glimpse of his beautiful green ones smiling back at me.

That was it. That was my green light to say paisley let's fuck.  
I was so ready for him to please me again.

I pulled my kisses away from him and pulled his trousers from him.  
My heart pounded in my chest.

Kendall was still busy caressing me with his hands. He savoured every touch like it was his last day on earth.

I sat myself on top of him, my legs straddled either side of his waist. He wasnt inside me yet.  
He felt my breasts in his hands.

I leaned down and kissed him, biting his lip playfully. I could feel his tip so close to me now i had moved position. My body ached away. My heart beat thundered with adrenaline.

I was just about to move my body back down so he could place himself inside me when the door knocked.  
Kendall gave out a small laugh, where as I groaned and leaned my head on his chest.

Flaming typical!

I got off kendalls sexy body and grabbed my dressing gown from the chair it had been draped over from my first nights stay here.

I made sure I was all covered up before answering the door.

"Good morning pais'" came James' cheery voice.

"Hi" I greeted him coolley. I was pissed off with James maslows really bad timing.

"What's wrong?" He asked at my annoyed expression on my face.  
I gave a quick look behind to check kendall was decent, which he was. He had his pants back on at least.  
Then swung the door open so james could see what I was annoyed with him about.

"Oh" he said then let out a small chuckle.

"come in" I said finally.

"Sorry I didn't realise you two... were... er... ya. so I got the car, the slips are here she is ready to go"

James handed me the cars paper work.

"It's on level 3... Well I will leave you two... to it" he chuckled again.

"Hey wait, dont you want to join us for a spin James" I asked.

"Na. thanks anyway, besides I wouldnt fit in" James smiled at me "have fun paisley, see you at 3 in the studio" he waved at kendall who gave James a smirk then saw himself out.

"Kendall what kind of car is it if James wouldn't fit inside" my body felt excited but it couldnt move.

Kendall grinned ."what, and ruin the look on your face, let's go and find it shall we?"

After getting dressed as quickly as I possibly could we finally got to level 3 of the hotel parking lot. It was underground and not very well lit, kendall knew what he was looking for but he wouldnt give me any hints to even a colour.

" just click the key fob, you will see the lights flash when it unlocks" he kept saying.

I was clicking away but nothing, untill at last I heard the click of something unlock. It was to the side. I grabbed kendalls hand and dragged him with me as I weaved through two rows of parked cars.

I clicked the fob again and saw the Orange lights flash up on the car in front of me.

I couldnt believe my eyes

"It's a Z4" kendall said from next to me.  
I'm glad he did because I honestly had never seen such a beautiful car.  
It was gleaming, a silver convertible brand new car.

This was not at all what I was expecting. I can't believe sheriden and james would buy something this flash for me, all I did was phone for an ambulance.

"Jesus christ kendall. That car must be worth forty thousand dollars" I gasped out at him.

"I think more 60" he said with a smile.

I looked at him with astonished eyes.

"I cant keep this. They must be insane..." my mouth fell open.

"Sure you can, sheriden has more money than sense, you can't put a price on her life as far as James is concerned... but you can shake a fancy car at it". He said, his voice so much calmer than mine.

We got in the car. It was like a surreal dream.

"What did they give you then?" I asked. Kendall Definately did save sheridens life.

Kendall smiled at me "I will tell you soon... come on start her up" he said excitedly.

I did. I felt like a star.


	21. Chapter 21

**sheridens story  
**  
Paisley was doing well up on the stage.  
James was incredible too, I had never seen him so set on making something gel together. He wanted this to work out so bad for paisley and us.

Time ticked on and rehersals finished up.  
I noticed paisley and kendall trying to eat each others faces. The couple of seconds I let myself glance at them it looked very seductive.  
I turned away before I felt my heart ache with forgotten memorys.

I talked to Carlos. I had only spoken to him on the phone the last few looked well... obviously his new lady friend was treating him well.

"So... when do I get to meet this mysterious girl 'los" I asked him excitedly.

Carlos flashed his beaming smile at me "I'm hoping to have everyone round for dinner next week shoo... you think you and James can make it?" Carlos eyed my still ill looking body, my maxi dress hadn't fooled him in covering up my noticable boney frame.

"Yeah course we will. What's her name?" I asked ignoring his attempt to bring up my health.

"Jess'... well jessica. I met her in Michigan on 4th July...she is amazing shoo" Carlos grinned.

"Jessica huh. Sounds good, is she a regular person or in the fame game?" I asked him bemused at his silly smile that wouldn't leave his face.

"She dances actually, she does Broadway. We are keeping it on down low for now... early days huh" he chuckled as he looked at paisley and kendall "obviously not everyone keeps things on the down low" he added.

I didn't turn but I heard Logan whistle then kendall called out goodbye.

"Yeah not everyone does" I laughed." But they do look great together... hey why don't you bring Jess as your plus one to the gala on saturday" I playfully nudged Carlos in his stomach.

"Ah I don't know... she is still in LA though" Carlos thought about his options.

I decided to help him along "well you will end up on your lonesome if you decide to go it alone, obviously me and James. Paisley and kendall and Logan is taking that Sara girl" I rolled my eyes at logans latest flash in the pan girlfriend.  
"Oh and shawn is taking Amberleigh..." I smiled.

"What paisleys friend Amberleigh?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah, it was her that told me actually.I had to call her to sort some stuff out, apparently her and shawn really hit it off that night they all went down to the club"

Carlos laughed shaking his head.

I turned to see James waiting for me, he was sat back on the stage. Logan was just grabbing some bags he had.

Carlos and I walked up to James, we all said our goodbyes.  
James and I walked out to the maserati.

"I've got a little surprise for you" James said.

"What's that then maslow?" I asked with a grin.

He handed me some keys "I think I have found us a house baby" his grin matched my own

I wiggled my legs in excitement and gave out a little scream " Ahhhh! James I didn't even know you were looking!" I squeezed James' legs.

"Well I phoned around a few people when I was stuck on my own in reno, and this guy Pete called me back this morning saying a beautiful house had just come on in bel air, I asked if we could check it out this eve and went and got the keys" James' eyes gleamed.

"Oh my god, we can look at it now?" I squeeled .

"Yep! ... You sure you want to sell yours Sheri, coz I love that house, and wouldn't need to think twice about moving in there"

I looked at James. Trying to think of anything serious whilst being this excited was hard even for me. But i did.

"James I honestly feel that I can't go back there. I mean its not just what happened in the bathroom, its all of it. I'm so ready to start something new... with you baby. I love you James"

James gave me a smile and kissed me. Lingering on my lips long enough to slip his tongue in.  
"I love you too Sheri" he said as he started up the car.

The journey to the house took about half hour, it was getting late in the evening but was still light outside.

As James approached the bel air estate, he punched in the number for the gates to open.

I was blown away, the home he pulled up to was enormous. I could see 4 garages already joined on to the house, it looked like a beautiful grand Italian villa.  
it had Venetian walls.  
As we walked around the house I felt so overwhelmed. It was beauty like I had never seen.  
Walnut wood floors, the kitchen was huge, all dark wood hand crafted cabinets with cream granite counter tops, it had a massive center island cabinet.

The house had 6 bedrooms, the master bedroom having seperate his and her built in walk in wardrobes and the two bathrooms both boasted luxurious baths.

The bedroom opened up to a covered balcony which overlooked an expansive veranda. I could literally see for miles, it was beautiful.

The first floor had a games room, bar and office. As well as 3 reception rooms.

The four garages turned out to be 6, much to James delight with all the old trucks he had littered outside his bungalow. He got carried away and talked about maybe turning one of the garages in to a gym.

The garden was huge, a large grassy area which the dogs would love, a pool for my back when it got bad and even a spa. It looked out on to gorgeous vista canyon views.

It was amazing.  
"James its incredible" I smiled.

It really was everything we both needed.

I dreaded to ask how much it was, my house was so much smaller than this one yet still cost me over 2million dollars.

"It is incredible isn't it. Space for everything we would ever need" James beamed.

"A million kids?" I joked.

He laughed as he took in the magnificence of the house.

"James?" I took his hand in my own."how much is it?" My eyes squinted in preperation for the heart attack I was quite possibly about to have.

James smiled at me, he shook his hair to one side... he was giving me his 'look at me I'm gorgeous' pitch in the hope that it will soften the blow.

"James!" I laughed, letting go of his hand and giving him a small slap on the chest. "tell me" .

"It's a lot... but its beautiful. Isn't it?" he smiled at me again "... its just shy of 9 million" he finally said.

"9 million... oh my god... James ..."  
James took my hand again and gently pulled me to a big patio table that was near a built in Bbq area in the rear gardens. We sat down and looked up at the house.

"Sheri I know what your thinking, obviously I don't have enough capital behind me yet to even dream of a place like this, so again I know its you that will be left with the decision... but even if its not now, this..." he waved a hand at the beautiful home."this is what our future is going to hold, I promise you that sheriden". He kissed my hand he still held.

I stayed silent for a few moments taking in James' visions of the life he had planned for us both and the house that sat in front of us.

I squeezed his hand.  
"James, I love you so much... this house is insane" I laughed.

"It sure is insane" he said as he chuckled.

"Let's do it baby" I said, I stood up and pulled him with me.

"Sheriden you can't decide like that!" James argued.

"Why not? and besides I owe you so much James... I love you so much. Your right it has everything we would ever need" I smiled up at the house.

"Really?" james said in shock.

"Really baby! Let's do this.100% let's do it" I screamed with excitement.

I jumped in to James arms, wrapping my legs around his waist. He kissed me.

"Sheriden I won't ever let you down baby" James said inbetween kisses.

"I know James, you never have, yet I let you down so much by doing stupid crap"

James rolled his eyes, he smelt amazing, he had a leather jacket on, the smell from that combined with his amazing natural scent was almost too good to be true.

We locked the house up and made the journey back to James house, stopping briefly on the way to drop the keys back to the estate agent known as Pete.

The evening was filled with excited chit chat from both of us late in to the night.

There was so much happening right now over all aspects of our lives.

We went to bed just after midnight, we had a meeting with our lawyers in the morning to sort some record label details out that kendall had recently brought to our attention. And James had to drop paisleys car off after.

I fell to sleep pretty quick but got woken up by James' cell ringing just before 3am. He walked out of the room to talk,  
I fell back to sleep only to get woken up again by James. He looked worried.

"What's up babe?" I asked. my voice croaky and eyes squinted from the bedside lamp that James had just turned on.

"That was paisley. Kacey has shown up at kendalls begging for you to drop everything against her. She is set to lose everything in court so she told kendall. What do i do Sheri?"

The excited glint that I saw in James' eyes before bed had completly gone now. It was replaced with worry and fear.

"James if you want me to drop it, I will drop it. She didn't force the heroin inside me, I was doing it to help kendall mostly"

James sighed.

"Look! James after today ive realised that all I care about is getting things right for us. You used to be so in love with that crazy girl once apon a time. I will go along with whatever you think is the right thing to do".

James snuggled in next to me. He was thinking. James never made rash decisions.

"I love you Sheri" he finally said before leaving the room and using the telephone that was in his lounge.

On his return to the bedroom he climbed back in to bed and kissed me "if we dropped it I would regret it for the rest of my life Sheri" James said.

I kissed James on his forehead as he snuggled back in to me.

"She can burn in hell" he whispered.

I was quite shocked. James must feel very strongly about everything kacey had done to him and me.

We both woke up early, we sorted out all of kendalls legal jargon for the record company and James picked up paisleys car and dropped it round, he was back again just after lunch.  
James left me to go to the studio, I drove my car for the first time in such a long while to see Pete the estate agent.  
I went over the details of the bel air house with him, he had managed to knock $800.000 off the price for me from the owners.

I signed on the dotted line and got the ball moving hopefully it would go through pretty quick. There was no chain as the family that had lived there had moved to paris already.  
Fingers crossed in a few weeks James and I should be moving in to that amazing home.  
Butterflies filled my stomach.

I went back to James' bungalow. Again it felt odd to be alone.

Tomorrow was my big day, the Sheriden Lloyd foundation would raise a load more money for people with spinal injuries. I loved holding the gala. It was so special to my heart.  
My back injury had changed my life completly, but without it I doubt I would ever of got to know James like I had.

I loved that man with all my heart. James was most Definately what I would call the one. My one.

I took care of the last few details for the gala, showered and headed to bed. Tomorrow was going to be busy.

* * *

_i have 2 more chapters ready to go on for tomorrow, and i should hopefully have this story finished in a couple of days. run out of time tonite though.i have just been trying to get them sent on quick, so if they dont all make sense let me know, sometimes i muddle the chapters up without realising. dont forget to follow me to make sure you get to see how it ends... already come up with some ideas for a third story for sheriden, thanks for taking the time to read.  
xxx treehatsrock xxx_


	22. Chapter 22

**Paisleys story**

I drove kendall and I around as much of los Angeles as I could fit in before I was due at the studio at 3.

Rehersal went really well. I hugged the life out of James saying thankyou for the car. Again it was all James giving the orders, kendall just sat back and waited for his Que with the rest of the boys.  
Sheriden hadn't shown up today. But James told me to drive to his house for 10am the following morning for a lift to Evans, I still didnt know what Evans was, I didn't like to ask for fear of looking stupid.

After rehersal kendall advised, not told me that I was best off going back to the hotel and chilling out before the nerves set in for tomorrows performance. But he was pleased that I said I didn't want to be alone and ended up back in his pool having fun but I had the common sense to go back to the hotel and grab a bikini.

We had a chilled out evening of our own.  
"Kendall what is Evans?" I finally plucked up the courage to ask.

Kendall looked up, he had his pet pig yuma on his lap.

"Evans? I don't know pais. Why?" He asked.

"Sheriden is taking me to Evans tomorrow, but her and james just assumed I knew what it was" I said relieved that kendall didn't know either.

"Ohhh! That Evans" kendall laughed.

"What do you mean oh that Evans? What is it?"

"It's a beauty salon... kind of. Sheriden always goes there, but I'm surprised she is taking you actually" he said.

"Why? What does that mean" I laughed.

"well she doesn't go with anyone... Sheriden tends to be a bit of a loner in the girlfriends department. She has one good friend that I know of but she is in Milan last I heard, rest of the time she hangs out with us lot. She enjoys being... the alpha female I guess you would call it"

"She must just want me to look better for my big debut tomorrow" I got up and looked in a mirror that Hung on kendalls wall.

"Hmm... pais your beautiful as you are. I think she just wants us all to get along. When kacey first showed up sheriden was very stand offish, and Carlos' ex tammi... well it was a pain in the Ass putting up with those two in the same room, and any girl that comes in to contact with Logan gets a good dressing down from her"

"Yeah but you said logan brings home a different girl every night, so that doesnt count" I defended sheridens actions.

"Yeah I guess, but least she is trying" Kendall added.

Yeah she was trying. I wondered if sheriden had just realised its easier to let me in the group so kendall has half a chance of liking me or if she was doing it for James' benefit for the record label, or indeed she did just want a friend.

I left kendalls house just before 10pm, I was chilled out and ready for bed.

I slept okay despite my increasing nerves.

Kendall popped round early the next morning with a massive bouquet of flowers for me. They were a gift for good luck. We had a passionate kiss. He gave me my ticket for the gala. He must of bought one from the sheriden Lloyd foundation despite being able to get in anyway as the band was performing.  
It was all for charity I guess and at $750 a ticket I expect sheriden was going to do well with raising her fund money.

I left my room the same time as kendall. He wished me luck and looked forward to seeing me later. We kissed goodbye as we reached my sexy new car, I made my way to Sheriden and James' house.

"Paisley! Great to see you. James tells me you love the car" sheriden greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and a friendly tone.

"I do love the car, there was really no need for such a grand gesture though" I gave her an air kiss and matched her friendly voice.

James walked in to the lounge.  
"Morning pais! How's the nerves?" He asked as he grabbed suit bags and other items.

"Not too bad at the moment" I replied.

"Good good" he smiled back.

James went outside and filled sheridens car with the bags.

"Right ready when you two are" James called.

Sheriden smiled at me and pulled me out to her car by the hand.

She sat in the front, James drove and I was in the back.

When we arrived at Evans it looked like some fancy golf club manor house. Some of the male staff came and took the bags out of the car that James had put in.  
Sheriden kissed James goodbye, he gave me a wave and left us there.

I felt terrified.

Inside the huge manor house was a winding staircase, I followed sheriden up it.

"you okay paisley?" She asked.

"Erm yeah... what exactly happens here? Kendall said it was a beauty salon" I laughed my nervous voice off, secretly hating kendall for not telling me the extent of poshness that would be required at Evans.

Sheriden smiled." It is a beauty salon... just on a less commercial scale. It will be fun paisley, its just a way I like to get myself ready for big events... and I can't stand not doing anything today. It's the same date as I had my accident" sheriden stayed smiling although I could see in her eyes that she was filled with pain.

We went in to a small room at the top of the stairs.

"Sheriden why did you want me with you today?" I really wanted to know.

"It's important to the boys that we get along. I want us to be good friends paisley... honestly I do" she reached for my hand for the second time today.

I smiled at her and squeezed her hand."its important to me too Sheriden"

"Well let's get ready for our big night then" she concluded.

Evans was amazing. as far as I had seen, only sheriden and I were there.  
We started off with getting all over body massages then had manicures, pedicures. eyebrow threading and tinting, the poshest lunch i have ever had in my life, and we had our hair and make up done and finished off being dressed.

Sheriden looked stunning she wore a navy blue sequined dress, it was full length, she had gone for a complete hair colour change and was now a beautiful blue eyed blonde. Her hair had loose curls scattered throughout. She really did look amazing.

Sheriden beamed at me.  
"Paisley look in the mirror. You look so different".

I walked over to the mirror. Sheriden had picked out a glamorous white dress for me, the skirt length came just above my I understood why sheriden had a moan about how I got up from the rehersal stage the other day. She obviously knew I was going to be wearing this. The top of the dress was tight fitting showing off my cleavage. My dark Italian skin had been buffed to perfection, it looked amazing against the whiteness of my dress.

My hair had been waved, it looked so natural but totally changed the look of my face... my face looked stunning, even if I did say so myself.  
I still looked like me, but it was like me as an angel in heaven.

"Kendall is going to be blown away pais'" sheriden whispered from behind me.

I smiled, it was the first time she had called me pais'  
"You think so?" I asked as I stared at my angel reflection.

"Absolutely!" she said.

"Sheriden... thank you so much... not just for this but for everything you and James have done. I hope you know how much it means for me"

She smiled "believe it or not paisley you and I are not all that different. I came from a very difficult background just like you, I tried to make it big on my own, just like you with kandy teaze. If it wasn't for the help of some very special people in my life then I would still be living in hackney London, snorting up coke,giving up on my dreams and my self and probably living with an abusive boyfriend, carlos' dad saved me from a truly terrible upbringing, both my parents were acoholics, i was left to fend for myself pretty much at the age of 12"

"Sheriden I had no idea of all that" my voice almost a whisper.

"Well the press don't tend to listen to the truth, they just print what they see, which at the time was a very scared 19 year old girl with no where left to go... just like you"

I could feel the heat of tears wanting to escape my eyes.

"Don't you dare fucking cry pais, we don't have time to redo that make up" sheriden laughed trying to compose herself of her own tears that now threatened her.

She gave me a hug.  
"Your going to be brilliant tonight, just remember to enjoy yourself okay" she smiled.

"Okay" I replied.  
Time had sped by today with all the beauty treatments and a lavish lunch. It was time to get a move on to the gala.

Sheriden and I got in seperate cars as we left Evans. I had a surprise waiting for me in my car in the form of kendall Schmidt.

Kendall looked so handsome. He wore a black designer suit, complete with jacket, waistcoat and a bow tie, his hair swept to perfection.

His face was a picture, for the first time since I had met him he was speechless. I greeted him in the car with a kiss and a smile.

"Paisley... wow" he managed out.

I laughed at him." Your looking hot yourself kendizzle" I replied back with a wink.

We arrived out side the gala venue, it was heaving with people wanting to catch a glimpse of their favorite celebrity that was attending.

The car stopped and someone opened the door for us from the outside, kendall stepped out on to the red carpet and reached his hand out for me to take, I took it and stepped out smiling. Flash photography engulfed us. We walked up the carpet, kendall held tightly on to my hand and gave a few waves to the hords of people behind the red roped barriers that framed the carpet.

We eventually made it inside, it was beautiful, large round white clothed tables awaiting the guests to sit for an exquisite meal. Each table was decorated with red roses. I saw the stage that I would soon be on and even a catwalk that I expect I would see some of Sheridens former runway friends on later.

I could see so many famous people. models, film stars, comedians, singers, tv stars.

I could feel my chest tighten. Shit! I did not belong here. Look at these people... they wouldn't want to hear me sing. I felt sick.

"I can't do it" I muttered.

Kendall gripped my hand tighter "course you can baby"

"I'm going to be sick" I declared.

Kendall turned to look at me. His green eyes almost hypnotic "paisley cmon don't do this now... it will be fine"

We were then greeted by james and sheriden, god knows where they snuck out from.  
We all hugged and kissed.

Kendall told to James of my new found nausia.

James looked worried as he gave me a good look.  
"Paisley you look a bit hot" he said with a smile.

I nervously smiled back.

"Come with me" James said and took my hand and dragged me off to a fire exit.  
We went through a small white bricked corridor. And in to a tiny office like room.

"Right pais if your gonna throw up do it in there" James pointed to a tiny looking washroom .  
But unfortunatly for him I went in and threw my guts up.

I came out after a few minutes.  
"Better?" He asked.

"Yeah actually... have I fucked my face up?"

James took a good look at my face and gently wiped under my eye.

"Eyeliner was a bit smudged but your looking good now" he smiled at me then walked over to the desk and pulled out a small bottle of vodka and two glasses. He poured the vodka in and handed me a glass.

"Drink up paisley" James said swigging his own glass. I did followed by another recommended by James.

"Right take a deep breath... how you feeling now?" He asked.

"Surprisingly good" I laughed.

"excellent, now promise me you will stick to soda for the rest of the night... least untill you have performed, and pais...enjoy yourself"

"I promise James... thankyou" I replied.

"Right let's get back to this party then" he said and took my hand, he delivered me back to kendall who was talking to shawn and Amberleigh who was sat at our dinner table. I could not of been more pleased to see her.

Dinner went by far to quickly for my liking, as well as shawn and Amberleigh we shared our table with Logan and his date sara, dustin belt and his girlfriend Caroline and Carlos and his date Jess.  
Each table housed ten people.  
Sheriden and James sat on another table with a bunch of special guests, two of them being 9 year old twins maisy and Molly Alessi, both being born with a spinal deformity that caused them both to be confined to wheel chairs for life.  
Sheriden Lloyd really struck me today as an amazing human being.

After dinner an auction took place, up for grabs was a load of celebrity stuff. Clothes, signed platinum albums,photographs, even a pair of Robbie Williams underwear that he had signed. The auctions had been running for a couple of months beforehand on eBay for members of the general public to join in. The total cash figure raised just by the auction alone had already reached over $175.000 .

Before I knew it it was time for me to take to the stage. James came and got me, took me through the back and gave me a quick run down of what to do, and wished me luck.

I heard sheriden speaking on the mic, she was explaining to the audience who I was and to give me a warm welcome. She then spoke out my name and walked off the stage.

I walked on and sat on the small black stool that was spotlighted for me.  
A man on a piano began playing halleloujah.  
I sang my heart out. By the second verse I felt so confident, my voice did me proud, I did my self proud.  
I hit every note perfectly remembering what james had told me. I could see kendall at the side, back stage, he beamed at me.

I felt worthy of being in the same room as these people.

The second song I sang was called truth, originally it was performed by Good Charlotte, again James had mixed it up to fit my voice and show off the power I could give out. I stood up to perform this song, I needed to push the feeling of the lyrics out.  
It really was a beautiful song, I thought to my self that James truely was a musical production genious .

The Good Charlotte song ended and an extended intro to nothing even matters began, I had 20 seconds to address the audience and introduce big time rush on the stage with me.  
The audience were clapping away from my last song.  
" thankyou everyone... thank you so much" I said in to the Mic.  
"I have one more song to sing for you this evening but it requires some very good friends of mine... ladies and gentleman please give a warm welcome to BIG TIME RUSH!"

I sat down on the edge of the stage praying it was spotlessly clean to save my dress from any dirt marks.

The btr boys joined me as the audience clapped at them. they sat on stage. Kendall gave me a smile and a wink.  
The song went by so smoothly, even better than rehersals. Kendall pulled me up very gracefully to do the big ending he held my hand and he looked so proud to be doing so,  
As the song finished, the rest of the boys stood up and James spoke in to his Mic.  
"Paisley prince everybody..." and the audience applauded me as I left the stage giving each of the boys a hug and a kiss. James whispered in my ear "you did me proud pais". And I walked off grinning ear to ear. And the boys continued with there own mini stage set.

I sat down on a sofa back stage to collect my thoughts... I couldn't believe how well that had all gone... fuck that was amazing.

Sheriden joined me after a minute or so she handed me a glass of champagne and sat on the sofa next to me.  
"Well done pais' you absolutly nailed it" she said.

We chinked glasses " thanks" I replied. Feeling a bit emotional on hearing her kind words.

"why are you back here when you have all those people out there?" I asked her

She smiled, "I have something for kendall"

I thought it rude to ask what it was, so i didnt ask.

The boys finished there performance and filed off and I stood up, A flurry of kisses came towards sheriden and i.

"James I got the papers" I heard sheriden say.

Logan and Carlos went back to their lady guests at the gala, I stayed behind with kendall as James had grabbed his arm and asked him to hold up.

"Kendall I got these for you bro', I think its all present and correct" James handed kendall the envelope that sheriden had brought in with her

Kendall smiled and gave James and sheriden a hug. They all looked at me.

"What?" I said to the three of them.

Kendall took my hand and sat me down on the sofa with him.  
"Pais... you know I like you loads dont you?" He began saying.

" erm... well yeah, I hope you do" I replied.

" well i do, and to tell you the truth I haven't felt very comfortable kind of being with you and being the boss" kendalls smile faded slightly as he read my uneasyness from my face.

I removed my hands ready to prepare for the words that kendall didn't want to be my boyfriend.

"Paisley!" Kendall laughed and took my hands back "what I'm trying to say is I've asked sheriden and James to buy me out... I'm not part of the label anymore. I'm just gonna be your boyfriend not your boss" he smiled.

I smiled back, it all made sense now why James had taken charge and kendall wanted to take it slow. He didn't want to fuck anything up.

I kissed him.

"Who is going to do your job in the studio then...max?" I asked.

James took this as his Que to answer me, I looked up at him from the sofa.

"Well kendall won't be replaced as a partner in the company but his job will be taken by Amberleigh Scott" he finished with a smile at Amberleighs name.

"Serious?" I asked

Sheriden nodded.

"That's amazing... she is amazing at all that stuff" I beamed.

Kendall squeezed my hand.

Sheriden and James left us on the sofa, I think she was due to have a turn on the catwalk to kick things off. I bet she lived for that moment.

I kissed kendall.  
"Is that what you really wanted?" I asked him in seriousness.

"100% paisley. I don't want anything to come between me and you" he smiled.

"I love you so much kendall" I whispered to him.

He smiled at me then kissed me.  
he didnt say i love you back but a kiss was a good enough answer for me. I could wait for him to be ready to say it, i knew rushing him wouldn't help anything.

We made our way back just in time to see sheriden strut her stuff on the runway, she had changed in to a bright red backless dress, it was layered up about a hundred times over. Like a ballet skirt it was short and showed off her amazing legs. As she turned the backless dress showed off her scar along her spine.

I admired sheriden Lloyd so much.  
I looked over to james. He looked very emotional, he watched her glide away up there. He looked so inlove, so proud.  
Kendall gave out a small sigh as he looked up at sheriden.  
He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me back to our table.

As the night went on the more people had too much to drink and delved in to their chequebooks to donate money.

The evening ended with a flurry of awards for some of the special people that had entered Sheridens heart.

The twins maisy and molly got given a special gift during the awards ceremony. They were huge fans of Justin bieber. He wasn't at the gala but sheriden presented the twins with concert tickets and backstage. passes to meet him at one of his shows.

The look on those girls faces is one I will never forget. I could understand why everyone in Sheridens big time rush family loved her so much. She was truely nothing like the person that was printed about in the paper. She still was that scared little girl from hackney, but now she used her influences for good. Just like Carlos' family had shown her.

James must of seen that quality in her from day one.

After the awards there was another band that played for the guests to dance to.  
a dance floor appeared after some tables had been removed and a party began.

Sheriden could relax now, she came and chatted to everyone, James was firmly attached to her hand. She still wore the gorgeous red tutu style dress from the cat walk. Her newly blonde hair looked stunning with it.

They made there way over to kendall, shawn, amberleigh and i.  
We talked about Amberleighs new job title. Again Amberleigh was cackling away with her dreadful laugh, sheriden gave me the look to say is that for real. I laughed at her.  
It was all very relaxed untill Carlos came over and introduced his new girlfriend Jess to sheriden and James.  
I had only said hi to Jess once at the dinner table. She spent the rest of the time whispering in carlos' ear.

James looked a bit shocked as he was introduced to jess, I presumed her beauty had taken him aback.  
She really was very pretty. She wore a strapless black mini dress. The skirt was so short I admired how she made it look effortless to keep it in place, and not expose her behind.

Sheriden gave Jess an air kiss and looked her up and down. I got the impression sheriden didn't approve of Jess one bit.  
Carlos chatted away to kendall, i stood next to sheriden, i noticed that james was talking quickly in her ear.

Jess then made a bee line for me, I presumed it was because it looked as though I also didn't have a talking partner.

"How was your first time on stage?" Jess asked me.

I smiled at the thought of my performance "oh my god it was amazing" I beamed at her.

Jess laughed.

"So are you a singer too?" I asked her.

"Oh god no babe, i dance, Ive just finished a stint in vegas actually, mainly Latin dance but I do all sorts" she smiled

"Wow that's amazing, I expect your used to performing to crowds like this then... I was so nervous earlier"

Again Jess laughed, I found it irritating. She took a quick look at the crowds of people at the gala.  
"I'm used to much bigger than this..." she chuckled." This is nothing" she emphasised.

"Well this is a different scenario completly though... charity function and all" I argued.

"Hmm" she said "so... this is kendall then?" she stole kendall from Carlos' conversation.  
Kendall smiled at Jess

"Yes this is kendall" I agreed, my voice turning patronising.

"You two aren't really an item are you?" Jess chuckled out.  
Kendall looked at me and smiled. I could tell from his eyes he was saying who the fuck does this bitch think she is.  
I let out a small laugh " well yeah we are dating actually" I said and took kendalls hand. He gladly raised it and gave it a kiss.

"Oh my... I am sorry, i just presumed it was for publicity. You dont look his type" as she said it jess ran her fingers across kendalls chest.

I dont know if Carlos saw this or chose to ignore it. But it pissed me off.  
Kendall gave a nervous chuckle and looked at me.

"why would you think its publicity" I asked out of pure curiousness .

"Well... babe, don't take this the wrong way but your just a bit plain... I just assumed it was to help record sales or something" Jess had a smile on her face.

I was speechless. What do you possibly reply to that.  
I looked at kendall. He looked awkward.

"Hi... Jess?" Sheriden joined in our conversation.

Jess raised an eyebrow to acknowledge Carlos' very dear friend and the host of the gala.

Sheriden chuckled, i noticed Carlos deep in conversation with dustin now, completly unaware of the terrible introduction his new love interest had given us.

"Sweetheart..." sheriden said, her voice thick with intimidation."paisley isn't plain, she is adorable. She is just not very good at mastering the look of a slut, like yourself" sheriden again eyed Jess from top to bottom.

At that point kendall tugged at my hand and pulled me away.

I couldn't hear what other words the two women exchanged because of the noise from the band playing but i saw James follow kendalls lead and guided sheriden away from Jess the bitch.

Kendall led me to the dance floor, a slow song was playing I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"That was weird right?" he smiled.

"Right!" I agreed "good old sheriden" I winked at him.

Kendall laughed and gave me a kiss.

Logan came up to us and asked if we would like to come back to his for a gathering.

Kendall. said he would but i decided to quit while i was ahead. I was shattered. Today had exhausted me.

"You want some company?" kendall said with a grin.

I smiled back at him "no you go ahead and have fun, im just gonna zonk out baby"

I said my goodbyes to everyone then Kendall walked me out to a car, he kissed me goodbye and promised to call me in the morning.

I got back to the hotel showered and slumped in to bed, I was so tired but the entire day had been worth it.


	23. Chapter 23

**sheridens story**

I had had a really good time with paisley today at Evans. I felt hopefull that any rift that had been caused between James and kendall because of the stupid things I had done in my life could be repaired.

Paisley would be so good for kendall to have in his life, I had noticed that his eyes had begun to shine again instead of looking so sad.  
I was determined that big time rush would not suffer because of me. That band meant the world to James.

Paisley had just got in to her car with kendall. I got in to my own where James was waiting for me.

"Hello blondie" he greeted me with.

I kissed him "hey baby... what do you think?" I asked him, hoping he would like my new hair colour.

"Very sexy! I thought you had changed your mind about doing it?" he smiled.

"A change is as good as a rest" I said and gave James a kiss from his new blonde girlfriend.

"You look great!" I smiled eyeing him over, he wore a navy blue tuxedo, his hair had been cut again too.  
"I love your hair that length James...makes you look more my age" I said with a giggle.

He slung his arm around me and laughed."not so much your toy boy now huh, you will have to trade me in for a younger model soon" he joked.

I laughed again " I doubt that maslow... your stuck with me for good I'm afraid"

I gave James another kiss, a longer one this time. His eyes smiled at me as I pulled away.

"Not bad for a blonde" he whispered to me.

I smiled. I loved James so much. My heart ached away as I looked in to his beautiful brown eyes.

Our car pulled up out side the venue. James and I walked out on to the red carpet. We spent several minutes greeting the crowds outside. We posed to have our picture taken, I posed away with James showing off my beautiful dress.

"Sheriden... sheriden" called some of the paperazzi.  
James and I walked over to say a few words for the journalist trolls.

"How are you feeling now Sheriden?" One man shouted out with a tape recorder thrust at me.  
I felt James squeeze my hand.  
"I am feeling so excited for tonite. We hope to raise a lot of money for the charity this evening" I calmly replied, twisting the journalists question to a more suitable answer for myself.  
"Sheriden..." I could hear more shouts but James gently pulled me away thanking and smiling at everyone.

We got inside. We had a quick chat with a few guests. James spotted kendall and paisley and wanted to check she wasn't falling to pieces with nerves, so we made our way over... she looked scared stiff clinging on to kendall, James took her in to a back room to give her a pre show chat.

Kendall smiled at me " once again sheriden you have blown me away. You look amazing"

"Thanks" I smiled back "paisley looks stunning doesn't she?" I asked.

"She... had me lost for words. I can't wait to tell her about Amberleigh. I think it will take a load of pressure off us"

"I will sort all that out for you later when things have got in to some kind of order" I replied with a friendly squeeze of his wrist.

Logan and his... company came to greet us.

"Princess... look at you!" Logan said taking my hand and giving me a twirl.  
I gave logie a kiss on the cheek and greeted his date with a smile.  
"Sara this is Sheriden Lloyd" Logan introduced us.  
"Nice to meet you" she mumbled out at me. Logan had his hand on her ass, giving it the occasional rub every now and then.  
I adored Logan Henderson so much. He was a funny, caring, beautiful person. I just hated the way he exploited his fame by sleeping with as many girls as he could.  
Sara had been his latest fuck interest for the past two weeks according to James. Looking at them now I would think Logan would chuck her out of his bed in the next few days.  
It was always the same old story.

I made my excuses and went to say hello to some other guests.  
Robbie Williams had decided to grace us with his presence. I used to date Robbie for about a year when I lived in England. We had some fun times together but we influenced each other in terrible ways with alcohol and drugs. But he too has since sorted himself out. It was great to see him.

Guests took to their tables as dinner was soon to be served, I saw James and paisley walk back in. Paisley was atleast smiling now so I was pleased.

James greeted all the guests that were at our own table before giving me a kiss on the cheek and sitting down.

The evening moved on smoothly, everyone seemed to be having fun, I introduced paisley on to the stage. She sang superbly.  
I took her a glass of champagne to celebrate her success as she came back stage.  
I hope she knew how well she did.  
James and the boys came off stage. We gave kendall what he had asked for, the legal documents stating he no longer owned part of the record label. He felt it wasn't for him after everything that had happened and didn't want to risk any added pressure to his relationship with paisley.

I left them both to chat as I went to go and get changed for my mini return to the cat walk.

I loved days like this, I sometimes got the rare opportunity to appear on runways, mostly charity events like these or sometimes as a special guest for my former campaigns.  
My back on somedays caused me no issues what so ever, but there was no way I could survive the excersise routine a catwalk model has to go through to stay in prime condition.  
I still thought I looked good for my age but to a professional they would clearly notice I wasn't up to scratch any longer.  
I was changed in to a cute Prada red puff ball dress, the skirt was ridiculously layered up. It looked like a dollys dress, the top was tight and sparkly with an open back. Usually I wouldnt wear anything that showed my scar along my spine so freely but it didn't matter today, I had a small scar on my leg from the car crash I had with James too. One of the make up girls was gently patting it with camouflage cream so it wouldn't show.  
As well as me I had fellow british models set to go. lily Cole,she worked alongside me as the face for rimmel makeup in london. Kate moss who again used to hang around with Robbie and I back in the day and 5 other models from my own agency.  
We all wore Prada.  
Prada had been generous enough to donate the clothes and $500.000 to the charity. the dresses all the models wore had being auctioned off to help raise even more money for the sheriden Lloyd foundation.

I did my thing on the runway making sure I enjoyed every second. I clocked James looking up at me. He took my breath away.  
I felt amazing up there. I missed modelling so much.

James met me after my stint on the cat walk, he looked very emotional.  
"Don't you start me off maslow" I laughed as he scooped me in to his arms. He smelt so good. We spent a few minutes kissing backstage as the other models took their turn showing off the pretty Prada outfits.  
My puffy skirt denying me from pressing myself up as close as I would of liked to my amazing boyfriend.

After we mingled with guests and the dancing had begun I could relax. James and I went to talk to our own little btr family.

Carlos introduced me to Jess, she didn't look his usual sort, Jess looked very outgoing, Carlos was a very emotional person, he could get upset very easily and was a complete crybaby when he was tired. he was very immature and childish...but i wouldnt have him anyother way. I didn't envy the other big time rush boys putting up with a tired and grumpy Carlos when stuck on the road with him. Poor James shared a tour bus with him and shawn.  
Carlos' girlfriends usually consisted of two qualities. One being she would always wear the trousers in the relationship, which by looking at Jess I could see she definately had that oozing from her. but two, Carlos' girls would always back him up, even when he was wrong and Jess did not look like the sort of girl that would fight in anyone's corner apart from her own.  
Jess made tammi, Carlos' ex look like a kitten.

I eyed Jess all over, she looked cheap, wearing an all in one black mini dress, she was as flat chested as a 10 year old boy but if she bent over in the shortest skirt i had seen in a long while, i would expect you could see what she ate for breakfast.  
I had already taken a dislike to her before James filled me in on some disturbing information.

After Jess had turned her attention away from greeting us James whispered in my ear that whilst on tour, him and the boys had celebrated 4th of July in Michigan. The day after James had found Logan with Jess doing what logie does best, but when Logan went to shower Jess had tried to come on to james offering him oral sex. Stating that James was by far her favorite.

My blood boiled at the slag that stood before me, if she knew who James was at the time, then she definately knew that he was very much in a relationship with me. That was the one perk of being a tabloid favorite.  
As I looked at Jess now in conversation with paisley and kendall I watched how she rubbed her hands all over kendalls chest.  
What a whore! How on earth had Carlos managed to get latched on to that.  
As I listened to her make paisley feel inadequate I had had enough.  
These people were my family, they were all I had in the world.  
I would not stand for this trampy Bitch to step in and use the friends that had become my own dear family.

I looked at James who had also seen and heard the goings on of what Jess had started. He cocked his head as if to say, go on then.  
So I stepped forward.  
"Hi...Jess? ... Sweetheart... Paisley is not plain, she is adorable! she just isn't very good at mastering the look of a slut like you are..."  
Kendall led paisley away from the scene I had now created.  
Jess smirked at me.  
"Does something amuse you Jess?" I asked

"Well yes actually... if your pitiful life wasn't enough to send me in to hysterics then your attempts to keep yourself in the spotlight are almost laughable" she looked to James implying I was only with him to remain in the public eye.  
I smiled sweetly at her then gave off a small chuckle.  
"Oh dear, do you hold some resentment that my boyfriend prefers to put his cock in my pitiful mouth than in yours?... shame".

Jess tucked some of her brown hair behind her ear.  
"Oh sheriden... being crude really doesn't suit you, but I guess its better putting it in that oversized mouth than forgetting your contraception...again" she smiled as James pulled me away, he had heard enough.

What a fucking Bitch. I looked back at her she was now all over Carlos grinning like a cheshire cat.  
"Sheri I hope you know better than to listen to any of that shit?" James said as he took me in to a quiet corner.  
Tears had welled in to my eyes at the insensitivity of Jess talking about my pregnancy I shared with kendall like that.  
I took a deep breath.  
"Are you good?" He said with a kiss on my forehead.

I nodded my head. i guess this is the reason why i didnt want people knowing about the baby in the first place.

"Good... let's get you changed out of that dress before Jess chucks a drink over you and some poor guy has just payed $10.000 on ebay for it" he laughed at the silliness of the situation.  
This made me laugh.  
I went to go get changed. James grabbed my wrist before I walked out of reach.  
"Love you Lloyd" he said.  
"Love you too maslow" I replied with a smile.

Logan had invited us to his house for some drinks but James and I decided to head home instead.  
We said a flurry of goodbyes to so many people before we got the chance to leave.

At home I no longer felt tired, I wish we had of gone to Logans but the thought that Jess may or may not be there put me off making a late entrance.

"Sheriden get changed and we will go out with the dogs" James said.

That sounded good to me, it was a beautiful night... well morning, it had just gone 1am.

I got changed in to some comfy clothes and walked with James along the sandy beach that ran near the bungalow. We hadn't done this for months.  
It was so quiet, we only saw 4 other people out and about on the beach, James had a baseball cap on, and I was in jeans and one of James' sweaters, I doubt anyone would recognise us. I loved moments like this.

After we had walked for a while we sat down and watched fox and falco running in to the sea.  
I snuggled in to James as he wrapped a protective arm around me.

"James do you remember on cocoa beach when you asked if you made me nervous... I lied. I was so scared" I laughed at my confession.

James smiled "I was scared too... not everyday you get the chance to try and woo the woman of your dreams"

I looked at him and laughed." You didn't think that at the time James you big fibber" I gave him a nudge in the ribs.

"Honestly! I had a thing for you the first time I met you, you came to the set with Carlos that time. You wore red jeans and a white top. I tried talking to you but your cell rang" he said nudging me back in the ribs.

I laughed at James' crystal clear memory of the first day he layed eyes on me.

"Your so lovely James" I said snuggling back in to him looking out at the ocean.

"Yeah... I know" he joked and kissed my forehead "now look at us, just about to move in to our own home in bel air"

"It's crazy... but I love you so much maslow" I rubbed his chest with my hand that was wrapped around him.

"Love you too Sheri" he said.

We both sat there watching the dogs swim in the sea under the moonlit beach.

"Cmon let's gets back baby" James said with a glint in his eye " let's put that pitiful mouth of yours to good use"

I giggled at James as he pulled me up from my sitting position in the sand, and he gave my bum a pat as we hurried home.

* * *

_i have started on the next chapter and it will be put on here in the next few days, thanks for reading xxx treehatsrock xxx_


	24. Chapter 24

**PAISLEYS STORY**

5 days had passed since my performance at Sheridens gala.

James had me in and out of the studio everyday. He was trying to get the makings of an album started. But still helping me make the best of my voice. He would sit with me at his piano for ages, going over the correct notes for certain songs. He had the patience of a saint.

Kendall and I were just heading out to Carlos' house, he was having a get together, kendall said that Carlos' family had come to visit and it was an ideal opportunity for everyone to get to know Jess'.

I didn't really want to know Jess anymore than I already did. I hoped she wouldn't try and touch up kendall again. She scared me if I was honest.  
She seemed like a dangerous girl.

Sheriden had text me this morning asking what I was intending to wear to Carlos' house. I replied a dress, but she text back saying wear jeans, don't have your boobs on display, and maybe wear the silver shimmer top I had got when we had gone out shopping together.  
I had hardly worn any of the clothes I had bought on that credit card. But I found the top she had meant.  
I tried it on with my jeans, it really was very pretty, just a vest, but the silver sparkles made the entire look more formal, it covered up my boobs completly, I didn't even have any cleavage showing but it made them look even bigger as the top was tight around my little waist with my big double d's on top.  
Kendall loved it. He was my boobs biggest fan.

He didn't understand why sheriden had text such an odd request.  
I blinged myself up with some bangles and a necklace and wore my hair down.

Kendall also just wore jeans and a sleeveless tee, I loved it, he looked so... I guess scruffy is the best way to describe it but with the tattoos and the hair he looked very rock n roll.  
I had butterflies in my stomach just looking at him.

Since kendall had been legally released from James and sheridens record company he had become a very different boyfriend.  
The go slow rule flew out the window, and kendall could not keep his hands to himself. He adored to please me in any way he could. From kissing, to touching to having sex. I still did not believe that kendall had only had 4 lovers in his life time, he truly was amazing.  
But he was always considerate to not do anything that might put me off.

I had always been a bit of a bore in bed, my abortion I had when I was 15 had killed any dreams of a decent sex life, I was just worried I would get pregnant again, not that I would have another abortion but I just didnt want to risk it.  
Kendall was doing a good job of restoring my faith in men despite the fact he had not bothered to wear a condom on our first time and he somehow got sheriden pregnant... I hadn't got round to asking how that came about yet, I knew it wasn't planned.

But with me now, he was perfect, and I looked forward to him making love to me, where as with Ryan it had been more of a chore.

We arrived at Carlos' house just after six, his house was nice, but on entering and seeing the amount of people I could tell that Carlos was the heart of big time rush and this was the hub of it all.  
I didn't know Carlos very well. We hadn't had the best start, and then of course his evil girlfriend Jess had not helped to seal a bond.

Kendall introduced me to Carlos' two brothers Andres and Antonio, and of course Carlos' parents,and his grandfather. I understood immediately then why Sheriden had said to cover my boobs up.  
The pena parents had a look about them that kind of stated they didn't really tolerate exploitation of a sexual nature.

I would of stuck out like a sore thumb if I had of worn that dress with my knockers hanging out for kendall to enjoy the view of.  
I would have to thank sheriden for the advice.

I looked about but couldn't see her or James anywhere, I couldn't see Jess either.

I could however see Logan Henderson  
Kendall looked at me with pure humour in his eyes as we both noticed logans newest bed partner.

A laugh very almost popped out of my mouth. I'm glad it didn't because I think kendall was on the verge of hysteria.

Logan had bagged himself what I could only describe as a cougar.  
She was very attractive still but she must of been nearing 40.

Logan had obviously not recieved a text from sheriden asking him to cover his latest date up, as his cougar girlfriend wore a tiny pair of shorts and a very low cut v neck top with her giant boobs almost falling out. She looked like she was trying to dress my age but had failed miserably.  
Logan I noticed was drunk, but he was having fun.

He smiled at us, i was worried that kendalls laughter would burst out of him at the crack of a smile but he held it in.  
Once we had reached Logan he introduced us to Tina, he called her his friend but the way Tina was sat on logans lap made me think otherwise.

"So where's Jess then?"kendall asked Logan." I thought this was all about her?" He added.

"Yeah los said she will be here soon, she has gone to an audition. She wants to stay in LA" Logan replied.

"Ah okay... great, um... so where did you meet Logan, Tina?" Kendall asked the cougar.

"Well we met in a night club just a few days ago" Tina replied.

Kendall smiled and nodded but had to turn away as tinas fairy high pitched voice had sent him to physically have the giggles.  
Which in turn made me start up, as I made our excuses to leave Tina and Logan to it I noticed that Jess had now arrived.

She still looked like a Bitch, wearing a tiny red skirt again and ruffled black top, which if I wasn't mistaken I could actually see through to some degree and notice Jess was not wearing a bra underneath.

Carlos didn't seem to care that his parents where about to see his girlfriends breasts on the first meeting, he smiled away as he introduced Jess to his brothers and parents.

Carlos' dad appeared to be full of fun, he lived for his sons so it seemed, he hugged Jess and welcomed her to the family. I noticed Carlos' mom mention about the outfit Jess had on. She said it was very different.

Jess talked about her dancing career to them.  
I noticed the brothers give each other a look when Carlos' back was turned.  
I wonder what they thought of Jess.

Kendall and I sat on some chairs at quite possibly the biggest kitchen table I had ever seen.  
I watched Jess as she flaunted her self at the pena family.  
I had never known anyone that loved themself so much. She really had the gift of the gab talking about her self.  
Logan approached us and asked kendall to look at something on his phone.  
Kendall left my side to go and have a look.

I stayed sat at the table feeling a bit overwhelmed.  
There were people in the kitchen, I presumed must be more relatives of Carlos, and as far as I could tell 3 small children, all of which must of been under the age of six.  
My mind wondered off to what Carlos' Christmas' must of been like when he was growing up, a house filled with people who love you. I envied him.

Jess was still going,she seemed to be rubbing her self on Carlos like a Bitch on heat.

Still his parents stayed talking politely to her though.

Sheriden and James walked in through the door.  
James looked gorgeous, he had his hair brushed back from his face, he wore just cargo shorts and a tee shirt but the style he oozed out was insane.  
Sheriden also wore shorts, Definately not as small as tina's ones though and on top she wore a tee shirt, her hair was up in a pony tail.  
I had never seen her look so normal. She was still by far the prettiest girl in the room.

Pretty much as soon as she arrived she was flanked by Carlos' family.  
Antonio gave sheriden a huge cuddle, and spoke to her and James.  
Sheriden beamed. She spent several minutes talking to the brothers then I heard

"Is that my sheriden finally here?" come from Carlos' father.  
Carlos' dad left Jess and Carlos to it, to go and greet Sheriden, the girl he had welcomed in to his family all those years ago.

"Papi!" Sheriden replied. They hugged and kissed and I heard words of concern from Carlos' dad over Sheridens recent problems.

"...And a baby? Why did you not talk to me sheriden... I will never understand..." Carlos' dad sounded so worried about her, I suppose he saw her as the daughter they never had.

"I know, I'm so sorry Papi, my head wasn't thinking. But James... and Carlos have taken such good care of me"

Carlos' dad looked at James smiling.  
"Yes... James my son!" And he greeted James with a hug and some back slapping for good measure.  
Obviously James had already got the seal of approval to join the pena family.

Again I was left wondering how on earth her and kendall ever got it together. Sheriden in her civilian get up, looked very girl next door, then there was kendall with his ... scruffyness...

"Carlos tells me you two are buying a house to live in together?" Carlos' dad asked

"Yep... in bel air, James is wanting to make me live like the princess he thinks I am" sheriden said smiling,

"Good, and so he should. Nothing is too good for my sheriden" beamed Carlos' father.

Sheriden had the full attention of pretty much all the penas, including Carlos. They all stood laughing and chatting.  
A smile appeared on my face noticing Jess on the sidelines unable to join in.  
She deserved it.

James came and sat next to me leaving sheriden to catch up with her surrogate family.

I smiled at James.  
"They adore her don't they?" I said to him.

He smiled up at the scene in front of us "yeah they sure do... they will stay like that for about an hour catching up" he replied.

This news made me happy, I looked at Jess stood there next to Carlos, she had a fake smile on her face and nodded away to conversations that didn't really include her.

"Does sheriden never see her real family... in England?" I asked James.

"No, her mum died a week before she turned 21. And she refuses to try and patch things up with her dad" James replied still looking at the friendly scene in front of us.

"Oh... sheriden told me they drank to much" I added to the discription of Sheridens parents.

"Yeah... from what she has told me, she loved her mum a lot but her mum loved alcohol and cigarettes more than her little girl. sheriden was in foster care by the time she got scouted to model at 14...". James' voice had changed, I don't think he could possibly understand how any parent could just give up on a child.

"At 14? Shit... no wonder she went off track" I imagined a teenage sheriden finding fame and money at such a young age with no one that cared enough to guide her in the right direction.

James sighed." Yep! But Carlos' mom and dad found sheriden when she was 17. They did these missions for the church to help under privaliged kids, they wound up in the UK. sheriden by then was just launching her runway career,but she was broke, and addicted to cocaine. Ready to give up"

a gasp must of popped out my mouth as James stopped talking and looked at me.

He carried on with a smile.  
"The penas tried to help her but at first sheriden only wanted to help herself to drugs and booze. They kept in contact with her almost daily on the phone, kind of like a sponser, they could see sheriden for who she could be, not who she was. They kept asking her to come to the USA, but she wouldn't go. She had a high profile life in England already rubbing shoulders with very famous and wealthy people but at 19 she got pictured outside a Glasgow nightclub snorting coke, when she saw the picture she kind of just snapped.  
She left the UK and after a few years here fighting her way through her addiction and clawing her way back to the runway she made it" James sighed again and looked to sheriden.

She gave him a wink as they made eye contact and he smiled back to her,

"You love her so much don't you James?" I asked him as he stayed smiling in Sheridens direction.

"Completly" he replied " I've noticed kendall giving you the I love you eyes though" he smirked at me.

"He still hasn't said it yet but its early days" I said.

"Kendall just needs time, he is very sensitive really beneath all that" James said as he looked over to kendall who was laughing away at something with logans phone in his hand.

"Pais?" James said .

"Yeh?" I replied still looking at kendall.

"What the fuck is that sat on Hendersons lap?" James asked as he laughed.

I let out a laugh too " Oooh thats Tina" I replied with a smile.

James shook his head in disbelief at logans really tragic choice of fuck buddy.

"Well do you want a drink? its gonna be a long night... they usually are" James said.

"Sure... make it a big one" I said as James made his way to the alcohol.

Kendall walked back over to me just as James had handed me a drink."pais, cmon. dance mat time" kendall said.

"Dance mat time?" I replied.

Him and James laughed." Sure, cmon its funny, I'm terrible at it" kendall confessed.

The 3 of us walked in to Carlos' lounge, well I guessed it was a lounge, it only really housed a huge tv on the wall and a load of party games including two dance mats that were hooked up and ready to a small sofa pushed to the side of the room

The drinks were most Definately flowing by my second go on the dance mat. Kendall really was rubbish at it, he was out by the third round, Logan and James were currently battling it out against one another when sheriden walked in holding the smallest of the children that were visiting Carlos today.

"Hey paisley" she said with a smile.

"Hi... you got a little friend there?" I said as I shook the little girls hand that was in sheridens arms.

"Yeah, this is mia, she is Carlos' cousin. She is beautiful isn't she?" Sheriden said as she gently patted down mia's hair.

"Hello mia" I said to the little girl.  
"Awww she is so cute" I agreed with sheriden.

Mia must of been about 2, with beautiful shiny ringlets in her almost black hair.

I smiled at her then turned my attention back to the dance off. I couldn't help notice kendall who was sat on the sofa with a beer in his hand looking at sheriden holding mia.

God knows what had entered his head right now.

Logan conquered James on the dance mat, James stepped off and took mia from sheriden.  
He must of known mia well, she seemed very pleased to see him

"Princess!" Logan shouted just as Carlos and Jess walked in the room.

Sheriden raised an eyebrow to Logan who was very pissed by now.

"dare you challange the loganator to a dance off?" Logan said in a medieval voice.

Sheriden laughed at him "no Logan sorry, my backs not up to jumping around today"

"Come on then reno..." Logan said to me, gesturing me back on to the dance mat.

"Reno?" I laughed as I stood back on the mat.

Kendall had stood up now, I think Tina was scaring him slightly on the sofa.  
He came and stood near my mat hollaring me to win. He was drunk too.

I think logans downfull on the dancemat was his drunkeness... Or he let me win.  
But either way I thrashed him and became undesputed dance mat champion.

Kendall gave me some whoop whoops and a naughty kiss to celebrate my success.

"It's official Reno has now passed the test to become one of us" Logan declared.

He was so drunk, I laughed at him calling me Reno again... but I liked having a nickname.

"How about another go paisley?" Came a female voice from behind me.  
It was Jess, she was removing her high heeled shoes in preperation to obliterate me on the dance mat.

"Sure okay Jess" I said with a smile.  
I really did not have much of a back bone and would remain being polite to someone while they continued to trample all over me. This was one of those times.

I couldn't even bare to look at sheriden just incase she gave me the look to say 'don't you dare lose'.  
I knew I wouldn't win, Jess was a proffessional dancer. And she meant business.

I gave it my best shot but low and behold completly lost to her.

Logan held her arm up in the air declaring Jess the champion.

Jess smiled at me with a 'fuck you' face on her.

Kendall took my hand and walked with me out to the kitchen to fill up our drinks, I was starting to feel a bit squiffy myself now.

"You alright?" I asked him.

"Yeah fine why?" He replied.

"I saw you looking at sheriden with the little girl in her arms... you looked a thousand miles away" I said giving his hand a little squeeze.

Kendall smiled at me."just got lost in thought paisley that's all. I'm not gonna lose the plot again so don't worry"

I smiled, he reached out for a drink on the kitchen side and accidentally brushed against my breasts.

I looked up at him with a smirk on my face.  
"Well that was rude" he said with a smile then leaned down to kiss me.

"Kendall get a room bro!" Came logans voice as he entered the kitchen to get a drink.

As we walked out in to the dining room I saw sheriden saying goodbye to some of Carlos' family. Carlos was getting mobbed by female relatives as he also said his farewells.  
Once they had gone it left Carlos' brothers, the parents of mia and her older brother Michael. And all of big time rush and their dates.

I felt more comfortable now, as people I knew, now out weighed the people I didnt.

Looking at Jess I think she had a similar thought.

Sheriden had made her way to the kitchen to get a drink. I think she must of held back in the presence of the older generation so as not to dissapoint.

Kendall and I walked back in to the lounge but found that everyone had piled in to the garden through the patio doors at the back of the room.

Logan was attempting to teach cougar Tina how to do a back flip.  
It really was hilarious viewing.  
Logan managed one but completly fucked the other one up landing on his side. He was far too drunk.

"James you show her" Logan said still sprawled on the floor.

James handed mia to kendall and walked over to the grass and did a back flip on demand, i then watched as he tried to help Tina first of all do one in slow motion.  
He tried to spin Tina round like a majorette would with a baton.

I was in hysterics, I turned to look at kendall but he had just walked back in the house, I followed.

"Hey where you off to" I asked as i caught up.

"She is crying" he replied .  
I looked at mia, her little face was sad looking with big scared eyes filled with tears.

"Give her here" I said holding my arms out.  
I took mia from kendall, she instantly cheered up with my goofy faces and silly voice.

Kendall looked at me and smiled. Sheriden walked up to us  
"There you are" she said to mia." It's time for you to go home to bed honey" she cooed.

Sheriden looked up to kendall.  
"Paisley looks at home there kendall" she said nudging him with her elbow in his side.

Kendall again just smiled.  
Sheriden took mia from me and her and Carlos said goodbye to the little family of four,  
Jess hadn't bothered to say goodbye to anyone seeing as this get together was meant to be for her benefit.

Carlos, kendall, sheriden and I walked out to the garden to find james, Tina and Jess doing some bizarre things.  
I think the back flip teaching had now turned in to a how low can you do the splits competition.  
Logan was sat with Antonio and andres just to the side of the grassy area.

"Sheri!" James called "come do your thing" he waved sheriden over.  
Obviously not wanting to be out done by Jess, sheriden obeyed.  
She also took her sandals off and did a complete sideways split with her body laying as low as the ground.

"You want to have a go?" Kendall nudged me with a smile.  
I laughed "no way I cant do anything like that.

Kendall was drunk, he slapped my ass then winked at me.

"Okay you bunch of show offs, let's do something everyone can play" Carlos shouted rather over excitedly.

He went off and came back with 3 large poles, I then realised as he set it up on his lawn that it was a limbo game.  
Kendall laughed and I shook my head, clearly Carlos' house was indeed the one stop party place.

"Almost everyone can play" sheriden said as she eyed up the limbo.

"You can play for a bit shoo stop moaning" Carlos retorted.  
They really were like brother and sister with all the bitching that went on between them.

Kendall was eager to win this game and opted to go first. The limbo wasnt that low yet but kendall took his top off and threw it on the floor.

"If you make it under you get one shot, if you knock it off its three shots and your out" Carlos said as he came back from the kitchen brandashing a bottle of tequila and a handfull of shot glasses.

Kendall made it under with ease and downed the tequila that awaited him at the finish.

Next was Logan who just about made it, then I went, wishing for once that my boobs were not quite so large.

Then sheriden, Antonio, James, Jess, andres , Tina and Carlos

As the stick got lower so did the tequila bottle.

Only kendall, James, sheriden, Jess, and Antonio were left in the game as the stick got so low.

As Jess scooted under on the last go of that round, she came up successfull and downed another shot of tequila.

The stick got lower. It was Sheridens turn, she got in to position to limbo but eventually declared she was unable to do it with out causing herself some harm.  
She kissed james good luck. He now took his shirt off but he fell on to his back with the giggles and kendall had to help him up.  
He downed his 3 shots and put his tee shirt back on.  
Antonio stormed it, as did kendall.  
Jess unfortunatly did too.  
The next round saw Antonio get defeated and to my Surprise so did Jess.

Kendall was delighted he had won.  
Jess had a face like thunder, I could see Carlos kissing her in an attempt to cheer her up.

Everyone was pretty wasted by this point.  
I sat down on a step with kendall and rested my head on his shoulder, he still had no shirt on.

"You having fun?" he asked me.

"Yep... you lot are insane" I declared.

I kissed kendall. He was funny drunk, a lot more relaxed with himself, I felt he had let the guard down he sometimes put up.

"Reno!" Logan called me "sing us a song"

"Go on" kendall said " I have it on good authority that Jess is a terrible singer... you will Definately win" he grinned.

I wasnt going to argue with that, I kissed kendall again with a quick tease of my tongue, his eyes smiled at me.

We went inside to where everyone had now moved. Which was a reception / music room it had a piano similar to james' one from the studio in the corner. A couple of guitars laying about and a small drum set

James sat at the piano waiting for me "what do you wanna sing pais" he asked.

I thought about the songs I had done all week in the studio, most were slow ballads.  
"Can I pick anything at all?" I asked.

"Yeah course" he replied.

I whispered in his ear if he knew the song that I had chosen.  
"Really?" He asked bemused.

I nodded and james laughed.  
James then stood up and took kendall out of the room with him.  
I felt ridiculous. I Knew i should of just chosen a song from the studio.  
They walked back in after a few minutes and James sat on a chair and picked up a guitar and kendall picked up the drum sticks.  
"I apologise if I fuck this up pais, I'm pretty pissed" kendall said as he sat behind the drums.

"Ready when you are pais" kendall said  
I gave him the nod and he tapped the sticks to give James a timing to start the intro.

By the look on Sheridens face she certainly wasn't expecting to hear what came out my mouth.

The song was called DEAD, and was a firm favorite with me, it was a my chemical romance song with a load of heavy drums in it, and very far away from my angelic voice I sang halleloujah to the other day.  
I rocked it. The alcohol helping me tremendously strut my stuff around that music room infront of everyone.  
I finished standing on Carlos' piano, it was insane. I felt amazing.

"REENO! Where the fuck did that come from?" Logan joyfully screamed at me and lifted me down from the piano.

Everyone was clapping at me, apart from jess of course who had her arms crossed over her chest.

"I used to be a bit of a goth" I laughed.

James was smiling away at me " oh my god paisley, that was brilliant, we are gonna have to re think this album" he said still in shock at my rock chic performance.

Kendall got up from his drums and walked towards me, he lifted me up round his waist and began walking us out the door " right we are off to have sex now!" He joked to everyone, then kissed me.

I laughed at him as he put me down.  
"You are Definately my kind of girl pais" he said as he leaned in for another kiss.

As the night moved on we ended up sat at the massive table with just a mountain of alcohol in front of us to be consumed.  
Tina had confessed that she works in a strip bar. We then got a preview of her routine on top of Carlos' table.

Sheriden was completly fucked out of her face, she was draped over Antonio with her eyes half closed. James wasn't in much of a better state and Logan had been sick in carlos' garden twice but was still good to go.

I was sat on kendalls lap, he was kissing my neck and had a full on erection digging in to me.

"Your a bad boy kendall Schmidt" I announced after kendall had just whispered what he intended doing with me when we got back to his house.

Logan looked at us and smiled a cheeky grin.  
Then carlos joked "you are not staying here tonight!" So I gathered kendalls whisper was a bit louder than intended.

"How long have you and Carlos been a thing jess?" Antonio asked from across the table. Sheriden successfully whispered something in Antonios' ear that made him smile, James must of caught it too as he gave out a little chuckle also.

Jess eyed the three of them, like they were Satan in disguise.

"Since 4th July really but officially dating for 3 weeks now" Carlos answered as logans drink sprayed out his mouth and he also had a chuckle.

"What the fuck was that?" Carlos said to Logan giving him evil eyes as he wiped spray off his arm.

"So are you in love with carlos, jess?" Sheriden slurred at her.

"After 3 weeks how am i meant to know that? Of course your usually knocked up by then aren't you sheriden?" Jess spat back.

"Hey... that's out of order!" Logan said to Jess.

Jess rolled her eyes."just saying that 3 weeks is not enough time to tell if I love someone" she clarified.

"What about you paisley? Are you head over heels with kendall?" Carlos asked me.

Logan Butted in with "I think they are more still in the heels over her head stage" every one laughed as they looked at kendall and I, and the fact we couldnt keep our hands off each other.

I smiled "I love kendall, I'm not scared to admit that" I raised an eyebrow to Jess with my own 'fuck you face'.

"James does that not bother you?" Jess asked eyeing up sheriden draped all over Antonio.

James looked at sheriden, she winked at him and he scruffed her hair up with his hand.  
"Nope Antonio is her bro, they are close and sheriden is a cuddly person anyway, she can lean on or hug anyone she wants. It doesn't worry me, she always does it"

"Yeah but he isn't really a brother though is he" Jess argued.

Carlos shook his head at Jess.

"Paisley can i ask you something?" Tina said.

I gave Logan a scared look, and i heard James chuckle.

"Sure..." I replied.

"Are your tits real?" She said with as little dignity as she had.

"Fuck sake" kendall sighed out with a laugh.

"No they're not" I replied and saw a huge grin on kendalls face, I also noticed sheriden was smiling at me too, I guess she knew kendall liked big boobs.

"Are yours?" I relayed the same question back to her, already knowing the answer.

"No way" she laughed with a juggle of her big boobs.

"Sheriden?" Tina asked.

Sheriden smiled "if I told you I would have to kill you" she laughed.  
Obviously sheriden had a boob job somewhere along the line too then.

"What about you Jess?" Sheriden asked thick with sarcasm.

"Ha fucking ha" Jess replied.

"Really though even if they are small you should still cover them up, you might have Carlos' eye out in a minute" sheriden spat.

"Sheriden I would really advise you to shut the fuck up" Jess hissed back at her.

"Or what?" Sheriden said.

"I'm going out for a smoke" kendall announced having heard enough bitching from the girls.

"Yeah think I'll join you" andres said. kendall guided me back on to his seat before he walked out to the garden with Carlos' brother andres.

"See look you have driven him away again sheriden" Jess carried on her arguements looking at kendall as he walked out the door.

it pissed me off that jess kept dragging kendall in to her bitching "Jesus! Are you for real? Who exactly do you think you are" the words popped out my mouth before my brain could stop them.

Jess stood up and walked over to me.

"I think its more who do you think you are, you look like just a silly little girl to me" Jess said about 4 inches from my face.  
I could feel everyones eyes on me.

"Jess sit down" Carlos said. She went back to her seat.

"You don't half pick them carlos" sheriden said shaking her head.

"Oh fuck off sheriden, your love life isnt exactly plain sailing is it?" Carlos argued back in his girlfriends defence.

"Carlos I think your right you know... I bet it was James' baby"  
Jess said with a smile on her face.

"Carlos what the fuck?" Sheriden was really pissed off.

"Shoo I never said that" Carlos argued giving Jess his own 'what the fuck?' Eyes.

Antonio looked at his brother and shook his head.

"I can't believe you would talk shit about me to that slut!" Sheriden shouted.

"Slut?" Jess screamed back at her.

Sheriden had tears in her eyes at carlos' brotherly betrayel  
"Carlos you do know your not the only one that fucked her on the 4th july sat at this table, then she tried to fuck James too... so yes slut!" Sheriden rambled her drunken sentance out.

Jess chucked her drink at sheriden but her aim was terrible and it went all over James.

James stood up drenched.

Logan walked off to the garden.

"logan wait..." sheriden called, but he had already gone.

"Carlos can I have a word" James finally spoke. carlos and him left for the garden.

Kendall and andres walked back in.

"What the fuck is going on in here?" Kendall asked looking at sheriden in tears.

James came back in to the dining room on his own  
"Cmon sheri were off" he said

He helped the very drunk sheriden up and walked out the door without saying a word to anyone else.

Kendall looked at me. Carlos walked in to the room.  
"Jess I've called you a cab. I would like you to leave please" he said  
He was covered in mud and grass. I wondered if James had had a bit of a pop at him

Jess shook her head."carlos please... least hear me out?" She pleaded.

She stood up and pulled carlos to the kitchen and shut the door behind them.

I looked at tina, she got up and walked out to find Logan.

"Sorry guys" kendall said to Antonio and Andres and he pulled me up and we too went out the front door.

As we went outside we could see James and sheriden. Sheriden was sat on a small wall with a pissed off looking james.

Sheriden swayed with her phone in her hand crying.

"What's going on?" Kendall asked again.

"Logan hates me, he won't answer his phone" sheriden wailed, I could hardly understand what she was saying. She was so very drunk.

"Sheri he is fine, he doesn't hate you" James said giving her a pat on the back.

James spoke to kendall "Sheri let it slip that jess had fucked Logan that night in Michigan, and Logan then walked away" James sighed "that was all that happened"

"I didnt know he slept with Jess... how did i miss that?" Kendall replied.

I sat next to sheriden on the small garden wall, she was trying to dial logans number. She was that drunk she couldnt figure out how to do it.

"Sheriden do you want me to try?" I asked.

Sheriden handed me the phone, I dialled but the phone just kept ringing.

"Will you go back and find him i want to say sorry" she said to me.

"I will go and get him" James said . kendall looked at me, and I nodded for him to follow James.

"Sheriden Logan loves you, he wont care about this" I said trying to stop her tears.

She looked at me. Her eyes rolled about in her head, I was surprised she hadnt been sick yet.

"Your a lovely girl paisley prince. Make sure you look after him. He is an amazing person" she slurred.

"Thanks I definately will sheriden" I replied.

"James said that you have a baby is that right?" She said.

The question stopped me in my tracks, where would James of got that information from. Then it dawned on me that I had said " I told you about my own baby" to kendall in front of James that day we found sheriden, when I was being accused of telling kacey .

"No i don't have a baby sheriden, I got pregnant once but ... my mom ... she said it was best to not go through with it"

Sheriden held my hand, "mothers huh... who needs them" she said.

Just then logan came out of the house and sat the other side of sheriden.  
"What's all these tears for princess" he said as he wiped her face.  
He gave her a smile, she looked dreadfull now, big panda eyes from her make up spoiling her pretty face.

Sheriden just cried even more  
"Sheriden I wasnt angry at you, i went off coz i was half expecting a punch off carlos... which i got, but its cool now. Cmon princess"

A cab pulled in to Carlos' garden.

"It's for Jess" i declared.

"I will go and tell them" Logan said as he got up from his seat on the wall and kissed sheriden on the head,  
He got half way to the door when it swung open and jess flew out in a drunken rage. Carlos , James and kendall followed soon after.

"It's all your fault you fucking whore" she screamed at sheriden

Sheriden didn't say anything back to jess.

"Why didnt you just top yourself while you had the chance you junky Bitch"

Sheriden now laughed at Jess. But jess didn't find any of it amusing. Jess then tried to attack sheriden. I briefly heard James say "shit!" As he was worried sheriden would be brought down off the wall she was sat on.

I stood up and pushed Jess back, to which I got clawed by the evil Bitch in the face, then Carlos kind of just tackled her inside the cab.

"You alrite pais?" Kendall asked as he took a good look at my face.

"Yeah its nothing" I replied. But it hurt like fuck.

"Sheriden why do you do it everytime?" Carlos said.

"Do what?"sheriden said.

"Ruin things for me, you did it with tammi too, you can never keep ya trap shut, ever, can you. You wonder why i talk about you to girls... its to pre fuckin warn them. As far as im concerned you have over stayed your welcome in this family. You only care about your self" Carlos finished talking then stropped inside like an angry child.

Sheriden started crying again.  
"I'll go have a word if you like" i said to kendall. He just gave me a nod. James followed me inside the house.

Antonio was shouting at carlos.  
James walked up and just pushed carlos over. Carlos looked shocked as he sat sprawled on the floor. James then picked him up and rammed him up against the wall.  
I don't think Carlos had seen James like this before.  
I had.

"James cmon man" antonio said, worried for his brother.

"What the fuck are you doing talking to her like that!... she has been out of hospital for two weeks 'los, you know how she's been... how dare you fucking do that to her" James let go of his hold on carlos.

"No james, I've had it, there's only so much shit i can take from her" carlos replied straightening out his shirt.

"Shit? Do you have any idea how much she worships the ground you walk on. How much she has done for you... fuck carlos! she gave you a roof over your head so you could do big time rush"

"Sheriden didn't make you lose tammi, tammi was a dick, she dumped you because she was fucking that model from Seattle, and last saturday your lovely Jess started on pais" James looked at me "then she made a shitty comment about Sheridens baby.

Logan came in now, and took james away in the kitchen to calm him down.

Carlos kind of slid down the wall and sat on the floor, I sat next to him and Antonio sat at the table.

"Carlos we are all just really pissed, everything will be better in the morning" I said.

"I'm just so fed up you know, she can never just except life, she always has to fuck it up" Carlos said.

"Carlos look. James is right, you cant let sheriden feel like that, how bad would you feel if she did something stupid coz you said she wasn't part of your family any more?"

"Shit" he replied

"Exactly, you guys are so close. It's not worth fucking it up over a girl" i gave carlos' leg a pat.

"Since we moved to LA i know she has been thinking that she was looking after me, but my dad made me promise to keep a close eye on her. After only a few months she was off with James, i said to him I wasn't happy then it was kendall... sorry.  
I said I wasnt happy about that too but she carried on anyway, then it was james again, so why does she always think she can control my life when she doesn't care about what I think ever" Carlos finished his rant.

"Im not sure why Carlos but james and kendall are good people, I don't know what tammi was like but Jess is... well she slept with you then with one of your best friends in the same night. Thats not great is it?" I explained

"Carlos go and say sorry to her" antonio said.

"I liked Jess" Carlos said.

"Well explain it to sheriden don't just go off on one at her" antonio added.

James came out the kitchen drinking a beer, he still looked angry.

"I'm sorry man" Carlos said to James.

James also sat on the floor next to carlos.  
Logan stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Im sorry too bro, but she has been so fucked up lately it scares the life out of me... I cant lose her carlos"

"You won't lose her. She didnt intend to kill herself. She just wanted to forget everything" Antonio reassured James.

"how do you know that?" Carlos asked his brother.

"I call her Carlos, and talk to her, I dont tell my girlfriend secrets about her life" Antonio answered sarcastically.

"Yeah I didnt say i thought it was your baby james, Jess twisted my words" carlos explained to james.

"Hey where is andres?" Logan spoke from the doorway.

"He went to bed, he has to get up at 6am for a flight back to florida" antonio answered

I looked at the time on sheridens cell phone i still held in my hand, it was almost half past 2 in the morning.

James looked at the phone "is Sheri still outside?" He asked.

"Yeah kendall is with her" Logan replied.

"Well I best go and make friends" carlos sighed out as he stood up and walked out his front door.

"You alrite?" I asked james.

"Yeah..." James sighed "looks like some of us had a better night" he smiled as he looked at tina passed out in a chair at the dining table.

Carlos walked back in " they're not out there" he said.

I got up and walked outside. I couldnt see them anywhere either.

James ran up the road to see if he could spot them but he came back alone.

The cell in my hand rung. It had Antonio as the caller id.

"Shit I've got her phone" I said to James .

James got his phone out of his pocket and tried kendall but Logan appeared at the door with it.  
Kendall had left it on the table.

"Where are they James" I asked tears now filling my eyes.

"I don't know... FUCK!" James shouted.

I don't know what was running through james' head but a drunk kendall and a drunk sheriden missing together was bad.

"I'm gonna go find her, i bet they went home" James said taking his shirt off for the second time tonight and then ran off .


	25. Chapter 25

_As sheridens character is currently too drunk to help tell the events of what happened next, i have delved in to a few of the thoughts kendall had to help the story progress. it was difficult writing as him. i dont usually like doing it, but i needed to get some facts out in the telling of the story... so here it is.  
_

* * *

**KENDALLS STORY**

"Bro I'm gonna sort James out before he kills 'los" Logan said as he ran in and left me with the sobbing sheriden.

I honestly think I've seen her cry more than smile in the years I've known her.

"Shoo where are you going?" I called as Sheriden stumbled out of Carlos' garden.

"Home" she cried back at me.

"Your going the wrong way, James' house is that way" I mocked her. I've never seen her this drunk before.

"I'm going to my home to get my passport and then going back to England"

I laughed at the drunken plans that sheriden now had in her head.

"Are you now?" I caught up with her and guided her to the side of the little track road so she couldn't get run down by any passing traffic."shoo your pissed you don't know what your doing, come back to Carlos'" I tried to reason.

"He doesn't want me" she slurred

"And when have you taken any notice of Carlos" I argued.

"Once" sheriden smiled through her tears.

"And how did that work out for you?" I asked

"He told me to stay away from James and I ended up with you" she said with a giggle.

"Fantastic... it wasn't all bad shoo, we had a laugh when it was good"

"Your a very attenta.. atenat..attentative lover... Mr Schmidt" she smiled at one of the many memories we had shared as a couple.

"Well if you wasn't so drunk I would prob try and re live some of those memories now" I confessed. I would take her back in the blink of an eye.

"Well its going to have to be a long distance relationship kendall... England wants me... you lot don't"

We walked on further down the small road.  
"So your just gonna leave James here while you magically find your way back to England" I chuckled at her.

She stopped and looked at me  
"He will be better off with out me" and she started walking again with a fresh batch of tears howling out.

"Sheriden cmon, I'm fucked if I'm gonna follow you about... your not even wearing any shoes"

"I don't care, I can buy shoes in England" she sobbed.

"Do you actually have keys to your house?" I asked

She tapped the little bag that was swinging by her hip.

"Shoo please its cold, I don't have a shirt on..." but she kept stumbling on.

Fuck sake. She never used to be like this. The sheriden I knew and loved was so ... well I dont know but this isn't the same girl, drunk or not.

"You think they will let you on a plane in that state?... I don't think so sheriden... this is fucking ridiculous" I was getting pissed off now.

"Go back kendall... I don't need you... I dont need anyone" she declared, then fell down a small gulley that run along the track road.

I ran up to check she was okay  
"Shoo you alrite... ya back okay?" I asked looking down at her, she was covered in mud.

"Yeah...think so" she simply replied as I helped her up.

She then started crying... again  
"I want my mum" she announced sounding very British. I gave her a hug with some sympathetic words.

"Well no one can get you your mom shoo, but you can call Carlos' mom, or James' mom... prob best not to call James' mom just yet though..."

"Why didn't your mum like me kendall?" She wailed "I tried so hard but she was so nasty all the time"

It amused me that a drunk sheriden had almost forgot her American accent, I wondered if it was kind of made up, and this was the true sheriden Lloyd.

"She told me that we just wernt suited shoo... she just wanted to protect me... that's all"

"I'm a nice girl once you get to know me though aren't I ?"

I laughed as I looked in to her big blue teary eyes "sheriden Lloyd you are the most nicest, beautiful girl I know"

She gave me a hug and sobbed on my shoulder, if it wasn't so dark I would expect to see the make up imprint of her pretty face left on me.

We carried on walking down the trackroad. We were now nearer her house than Carlos'.

"Kendall... we had fun didn't we" she slurred out.

"Yeah it was... different" I laughed "let's not talk about all that now though"

"I did love you .. I did" she said.

"Yep I know" I replied. Really not wanting to get dragged down by her misery, I had, had a pretty good night despite all this shit. I hoped paisley had too.

Sheriden then propped her self up against a fence and puked everywhere.

"Shit shoo..." I rubbed her back but she waved me away, it made her throw up more.

I went to grab my phone to call James, I draw the line at looking after the puking girl that decided to run off with my best friend.  
"Fuck!" I patted my pockets down "Sheriden give me your phone, I left mine back there"  
I helped myself to Sheridens shoulder bag trying to find her phone to call James. She was still heaving her guts up.

"Where is it?" I asked as she finally finished yakking.

"It's in there" she said now chucking the contents of the bag out herself.

It wasn't in there.

"Oh my god... I've lost it" she got on all fours trying to find the lost phone.  
In happier circumstances this would have been an amusing sight. I doubt sheriden had been this drunk since she had left England.

"Shoo get up, you had it at the house its still there I expect"

"It's got everything on it... I need it... if someone reads some of the things James texts me... you know he wants to get married!"

I rolled my eyes, the thought of maslow and sheriden getting married made my stomach reach.

"Great" I replied."cmon let's get to your house and use the phone... paisley will be pissed off that I've just left her"

i pcked up crap she had chucked out her bag and shoved it back in. We turned down another street. I looked at my watch it was gone 3am now.

"Do I smell of sick" sheriden asked me.

"I can't smell anything sheriden. I'm sure your fine" I replied.

She seemed to have gone from being very sad to now acting like a happy child, she was attempting to walk along the curb like a tight rope walker.

"Sheriden be careful, if you fall your gonna fuck ya back up"

"Why are you so boring kendall, you never used to be like that"

"I actually think that has something to do with you" I replied.

"What I made you boring?" She said with a hand on her hip trying to keep her balance on the curb.

"You made me cautious... I find it hard to trust my instincts, especially with girls"

She looked at me." It never would of lasted... even with our baby" she said, still smiling.

"Really?... still would of been nice to give it a try without all the shit that happened" I said, now dragged in to the conversation. "was it my baby sheriden... honestly?" Hopefull to get a truthfull answer now she was so pissed.

Sheriden stopped being in the circus and walked up to me...

this was it. The truth... finally.

I recieved a full on slap across the face.

"Fuck!.. what are you doing?... you crazy fucking bitch" I shouted at her.

"Yes it was yours. I loved you so fucking much... you... Dick head"

She pushed me but she was the only one that moved, she stumbled back, I had to grab her so she wouldn't fall.

As I held her against me I looked in to her blue eyes. She was very almost the same height as me. And only smelt of...I dunno just nice things. Her hair smelt great.  
It would be so easy to kiss her right now...

I let go... but she pulled me in by my neck that she now grabbed and went to kiss me but instead head butted me square in the nose.

"Fuck!" I said as I stumbled about in pain.

Sheriden had the giggles..."oh my god... I'm so sorry" she laughed.

"Why are you trying to kiss me?" I asked stumbling around with my face in my hands. My eyes watered.

"I really have no idea... I'm sorry... your bleeding... a lot" she said looking at my torso as blood poured from my face to my chest.

I laughed " fuck sake woman, your mental!"

She smiled, her face looked awful, makeup smeared all round her eyes and covered in mud. But still the most beautiful girl in the world.

I sat down on the curb with my head inbetween my knees trying to stop my nose pouring with blood.

Sheriden sat next to me.

"Your not content with trying to kill yourself all the time you thought you would hunt me down" I said sarcastically as I rolled my eyes.

"What do you mean all the time? I haven't ever tried to kill myself" she said.

"Well your very accidental then. Falling down ski slopes and crashing cars... taking drugs" I replied.

Sheriden gave a small smile, I think she had sobered up enough to realise the sillyness that tonight had become.

"It hurts you know... watching you with paisley all evening" she said quietly.

"Your having a laugh aren't you. You and James don't exactly hide anything...I remember that day you came on the bus on the way up to Chicago, you gave some bull shit excuse you felt sick and had sex with James in logans bed...any idea how that felt?"

"Sorry kendall... that was stupid... I also thought we was pretty quiet...but, let me finish... it hurts but I'm glad you have her kendall, she is really nice... a lot more... sensible, you need someone like that. Me and you are too similar"

"So what's amazing James then? I always thought his cock ruled his head. He isn't exactly Mr sensible is he" I moaned.

Before sheriden, James would fuck anything that moved, him and Logan would get in to all sorts of situations with shagging girls everynight.

"James is the most sensible person I know kendall. I don't know how he puts up with me most the time... he must be really worried about me now"

I looked at the time 3:30.  
"Cmon then let's back to yours"

It took about ten more minutes to get to Sheridens. The electronic gates that fenced off her house were now shut, I punched the number in and they opened.

Sheriden placed her hand in mine as we entered the drive.

"You alrite?" I asked.

She shook her head " I've not been back here since... you know"

I slipped my hand away from hers and slung my arm over her shoulder, giving her a squeeze.  
"It's alrite shoo... cmon" I guided her up to the front door.

As I unlocked the door for her I tried to make her terrified looking face smile "so you still boarding a plane to buy shoes in England or just phoning amazing James?"

She did smile "amazing James" she whispered.

I nodded, as we walked in I flipped the lights. the mansion still looked as awesome as it always did, white winding stairs greeted us.  
A pile of post had been placed on the side table next to the ornate looking telephone

I dialled James number.

"Sheriden!?" James answered after only half a ring.

"No man its me, she is fine. Pissed as a fart, we are at her house... just got here" I replied.

"Fucksake why did you just fuck off? paisleys gone home, she is seriously fucked off with you" James moaned.

"No... sheriden fucked off. What was I meant to do, just leave her to it to get run over. She was trying to go to fly England" I laughed at the ridiculous plan again.

"What?... oh fuck sake. I will be there in a bit. Don't move okay" James ordered then the phone went dead.

"he is on his way but paisleys gone" I sat on the winding steps where sheriden had planted herself.

"I'm sorry... call her" sheriden said waggling a drunken unsteady hand towards the phone.

"I don't know her number off by heart" I said.

"But you know James'?" Sheriden burst out laughing.

"Fuck sake" I stood up." You want a coffee" I asked as I headed in to the kitchen flipping light switches as I went.

"No..." came her reply. I made myself one... black of course. It looked like someone had cleared the fridge of all its contents.

"So when are you moving to bel air?" I called out to the direction of the hallway entrance.  
no reply...

"Sheriden...when are you moving to bel air?" I stirred my coffee then walked back out to the stairs, she had gone... great!

The lights had turned on upstairs so I walked up to find her.

She was sat on the bathroom floor crying. The scenario gave me memorys I didnt want to have.  
I sat down with her.  
"Here have this" I said to her as I passed her my coffee. She took it, least if she was drinking she couldn't cry.

"It's still just a bathroom shoo... its not the end of the world. It has more memories than what your thinking of now" I looked around the large en suite.  
Mostly white and chrome, with a large bath and separate shower.

"I've had sex more times in this room than you've had overdoses" I said in an attempt to cheer her up.

She did a bit "funny really seeing as the bed is just through there" she added cracking a grin to a beautiful smile.

"You were on the pill weren't you?" I asked. Never actually understanding how we bacame to almost be parents.

"Yeah I was... just one of those things, I must of messed up somewhere" she confessed.

"I think we all mess up sometimes" I whispered.

"James said something tonight that made me think... he said that you always hug people, you know coz Jess moaned about you being all over Antonio. He was right you do always do that, you have always done that. You did that with James when I was with you, and you rested your head on my lap last week when we was watching friends... I just wish I hadnt of seen it differently when we was together"

"You wouldn't have paisley now though... she is so in love with you kendall"

"yeah I know she is" i thought of paisley, her gorgeous tanned skin, and her long black hair, her awesome tits. she was really cool, very easy going...sensible.

"Do you love her?" Sheriden asked just as James walked in the room.

"Jesus Sheri" he said as he looked at the state of her.  
"Are you okay?"

Sheriden started crying again at the familiar sight of her amazing James. I stood up then with James' help lifted sheriden off the floor.

"Bed time for you shoo" I said as we walked back through to the bedroom.

"No I don't want to stay here, I want to go back to James'" she argued.

"Sheri its gone 4 now, we might aswell just stay here" James reasoned "cmon I'll sit with you on the sofa" and with that I got handed her coffee cup and James picked her up and carried her down stairs.

He layed sheriden down on the sofa, she was pretty much already passed out. I sat in the chair opposite. James covered her with a blanket then lifted her feet up and sat down then rested her feet back on his lap.

James let out a laugh..."what the hell did you two do, get in a fight?" He asked looking at my bruised face from a slap and blood drenched body.

I shook my head and laughed."no she fell down a ditch, slapped me coz I asked if the baby was mine... and she accidently head butted me in the nose... she is a charm James".

James laughed looking at sheriden covered in mud and make up.

"Paisley was really upset mate. She had it in her head you two had run off together... I think it may take more than a bunch of flowers to fix"

I let out a long sigh "great! Sheriden went off to catch a plane to England to get away from us all. Do you think pais will believe that?"

James laughed "Christ... that girl ay... I don't think England would have her back"  
James looked at sheriden. She was completly out of it now, I doubt a nuclear blast would wake her up.

"Kendall... I've been meaning to talk to you..when Sheri and I are properly moved in to the new place, we are planning to have a party of our own..." he said.

"Oh right cool... don't let her drink!" I took the piss looking at sheriden.

James looked at her also and smiled.

"Well what I wanted to talk to you about is... well I'm gonna ask her to marry me. Infront of everyone, I wanted to let you know so you can come up with an excuse to not come... if you didn't wanna come that is. She will probably say no, she usually does, I've asked her a bunch of times..."

I sat there taking in the news that James was planning to marry the girl I thought would somehow... some way come back to me.  
I looked at sheriden, her beautiful face now looking so peaceful now she was asleep.  
I looked at James. He was looking at me... giving me time to think about a polite way of saying fuck you... coz that's what I wanted to say. Why does he always get what he wants. Yet I always get second choice. Paisley... I wondered where she was. She was amazing tonight singing. I could feel a smile stretch out on my face at the memory of it.  
Was pais my second choice compared to sheriden?. I looked at sheriden again. She was clearly insane in her own little way. Ever since I first met her she had caused a stir wherever she went, that's what sheriden Lloyd did.  
All I ever wanted was to love her... a peaceful life.  
Sheriden was right. It never would of lasted with us. I don't think I ever loved her as much as maslow does... but he is clearly insane too, to put up with it.

"You really want to spend the rest of your life with her?" I chuckled as I looked at the mud monster sheriden

"If she let's me, yeah... I know you still love her, but I do to... so much" he said

"I don't think I do love her, I think I'm in love with a memory of her" I said as I gazed at her still.

"So do you think you wanna watch me get turned down in bel air infront of everyone" James said breaking me from my gaze I had on his girlfriend.

"I will be there bro'... just don't ask me to be best man" I smiled

"Sure thing" James said looking at Sheridens dirt black feet.

"Kendall... you guys didn't ... do anything tonight did you?"

I laughed..."oh how the tables turn... no bro, just a hug"

James laughed "you can stay in Carlos' old room if you wanna stay the night"

"Yeah okay cheers... is paisley at her hotel?" I got up and made my way to the door.

"yes she is" he replied as he chucked his phone at me."call her before Henderson does"

I shook my head with a smile. I dialled paisleys number as I walked out of the lounge, she answered

"Kendall fuck off" I got as my greeting.

"Pais I'm going to be with you in ten minutes okay"

"No forget it kendall"

"See you in ten baby. I'm calling a cab now"

"Kenda..." I Hung up before she could argue.

The cab arrived and dropped me off at the hotel.

The lift went up so slow but I finally arrived at her room.

She answered after my second knock.

"Pais listen to me..."

"Jesus what happened to you?" She eyed up the shirtless bloody mess that I was, and placed a hand on my face.

"That doesn't matter... this does... I love you, I really love you, and I think ive been in love with you since reno, I've just been scared thats all... paisley I love you so much... please say it back".

"I think you better come in" she said.

* * *

_very almost finished this story now. i will have it complete before the week is out. let me know what you think so far...good or bad. its only a bit of fun that keeps me entertained in the evenings... i know its all very far fetched but thats the beauty of fiction writing! thanks for reading xxx treehatsrock xxx_


	26. Chapter 26

**PAISLEYS STORY**

How dare he think he can just phone me up at this tme in the morning after running off with his ex girlfriend. Its pretty obvious what they would of got up to.

Thats it now, I really do not want to know what he has to say.

The door knocked, I wasnt intending to open it, but I looked throught the peep hole in the door. it was Kendall, but he was covered in blood... What the fuck?

I opened up just as a second urgent knock pounded

"Pais listen to me..." kendall blurted out

"Jesus what happened to you?" I asked, shocked at the full extent of him covered in blood and mud and a fresh looking bruise on his face.

"That doesn't matter... this does... I love you, I really love you, and I think ive been in love with you since reno, I've just been scared thats all... paisley I love you so much... please say it back".

"I think you better come in" I said.

"sit down" I ordered, not wanting to take any of his bull shit but worrying so much as to how he got to end up like this.

kendall sat on the end of my bed in my hotel room, he looked so scary. obviously been punched, his face had dried blood running down it, and his chest, also covered in blood. and he had mud and allsorts stuck to him.

"did James do this to you?" I asked

"What?... no. course he didnt. Sheriden did. she accidently head butted me, caught me square in the face... she did slap me though but I probably deserved that" he replied.

he looked as happy as a little lamb despite looking like he had been maimed by a gladiator.

"where did you go?... did you have sex with sheriden?" i felt for sure he had, i had the feeling in my stomach.

"pais listen... sit down" he patted the bed for me to sit, i did. "sheriden was so drunk, she ran off from carlos' house saying shit about going back to England. I went with her cause she would of ended up run over or something, i didnt know i had left my phone at carlos'. sheriden was a big drunken pukey mess, she fell down a ditch, slapped my face then she banged her head on me fucking bout... thats all that happened...We didnt have sex, i kind of had the chance to kiss her, but i didnt. please i meant what i said. i love you pais. you make me happy, you make me feel loved, your funny, your cute, and you seem to really like me... did like me?"

I looked at kendall. his brilliant green eyes shone in my dimly lit room, he unearthed all the butterflies that lived in my stomach.

"I do like you still... baby I love you. you know I do" I rubbed his face again with my hand. the bruise looked worse in this light than it had in the light from the entrance hall. he was freezing cold.  
but he didnt seem to care he just smiled back like I had given him next weeks winning lottery numbers.

"paisley i'm sorry for everything tonight. I had no intention of running off with sheriden... that girl is completly nuts. james is welcome to her. honestly he is... i want you, only you"

i gave kendall a hug and kissed his face, "i love you" i whispered in his ear.

"i love you too... pais...i do"

i kissed him despite the state he was in, the kiss was slow, he still tasted of tequila, as i touched his body with my hands i could feel then just how cold he was, his chest felt like an ice block.

"your freezing" i said as i pulled away.

kendall just shrugged it off, he gazed at me through new loved up eyes.

"i'll go run you a shower" i walked out to the bathroom and turned the tap on, i waited for the water to run hot enough to warm kendall up.

kendall had followed me in to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. "shit look at the state of me" he said running a hand through his too dark to be blonde hair.

"bit of a wild night i guess huh" i said.

kendall stripped off out of his jeans and got under the shower, i got back in to bed and waited for him.

he emerged clean and dry, but completly naked in to my hotel room, all traces of his adventure with sheriden now gone apart from the red bruise on his face.

"can i stay the night?" he asked with a smile and a shrug of his shoulders.

"i dont think its night time any more kendall, the sun is up... but you can stay, i would like that." i flipped the covers open so he could climb in to bed with me.

he smelt of my strawberry body wash, i giggled as he wrapped me in his arms.  
"you dont smell very rock n roll now" i laughed

"you like me more rock than boy band then?" he asked as he snuggled in under my duvet, our faces almost touching.

"i just like you as you are" i replied as i kissed his nose.

kendall took my hand and placed it on his now very hard erection, his eyes smiled at me. he wasnt sure if i was still in a mood with him or not, but as a cheeky grin appeared on my face i think he got the message that i was fairly happy to be touching him.

as i stroked his hardness with my hand i felt him circle my backside with his palm, he gave my ass a little squeeze every now and again, he kissed me on my lips, he had clearly used my toothbrush as he no longer tasted of tequila.

he pulled my body in towards his so close, i just about had room to menouvre my hand on his stiffness. little moans of ecstasy would growl out of his mouth. i loved that sound so much. so masculine.

"pais" kendall breathed out heavily

"yeh?" i replied a bit too eagerly.

"get em out" he chuckled. i gave out a bit of a laugh too then released my grip on his erection and pulled my vest top off to free my breasts that kendall was obsessed by.

he was almost like a animal that had been freed from its cage as soon as they were visable. he kissed them all over, and climbed on top of me, i placed my hand back on his erection, pleasing him with every stroke of my palm.

kendall removed my little night shorts i wore and removed my hand from his grip on him, he entered me, slowly making love to me, i felt kind of tense but that just added to my pleasure of feeling him inside me,i think it added to his too, i felt my insides tighten around him. i ran my hands down kendalls back, he felt a lot warmer now, his skin felt smooth and strong as he rubbed his body against mine.

i came pretty quick, i think the night that we spent teasing eachother as i sat on his lap at carlos' table had turned us both on so much, that any kind of sex wasnt going to last long.

kendall climaxed but he didnt just roll over to sleep, he layed next to me, still touching me intimatley, i didnt know how much more i could take, he loved to please me.

i kissed along his shoulder as he lay still feeling me, and pleasuring me.

he made me come again, my eyes stayed open just long enough to see a smile of satisfaction on his face at his sexual efforts.

i was exhausted by the night and by the sex, i wrapped myself kendalls body, he gently stroked his hands along my side as i drifted of to sleep.

* * *

i woke up just before midday, my head hurt like hell...why did i do all those shots. i looked to the side of me and saw kendall, he was sleeping peacefully. i smiled to myself as i remembered that he loved me... i loved him so much.

it looked like his nose had bled a bit more in the night, some of it had been smudged on my pillow.

i wondered how sheriden was today. she was so drunk, i expect she will have a shamed face for a couple of days.

i got up and showered, got dressed. i wondered if i should wake kendall up but decided i would let him sleep. i checked my phone james had text me

_'still on for studio today? xox' _it read.

why wouldnt it be? i felt fine now really, just tired. i guess james was worried about my rant last night after he came back empty handed from his run trying to find sheriden and kendall... i do believe i called her a slag... oh god i hope he doesn't remember that!  
oh my! did i really jump up on that piano last night, flippin heck. i gave myself a bit of a chuckle.  
it amused me how much my life had changed in the past few weeks.

i text back.

_'hi, yea still on for studio. last night was crazy. how is sheridens head today_? x'

kendall started to stir, i sat on the side of the bed to greet him.

"hey" he said, his voice croaky from a late night of drinking and cigarettes.

"good afternoon" i replied, a bit too chirpy and loud for his liking as he squinted his eyes at me. "so... you said you loved me?" i smiled with a sceptic look.

kendall smiled "so i did" he said as he grabbed my waist and pulled me down next to him on the bed. he kissed me, his eyes didnt seem to want to open.

my phone buzzed with a text message.

i pulled myself up and grabbed it off the side.

it was james replying to me.

_' she was awful, had to take her to clinic at 8 this morning. she has fucked her back up from falling over last night. woke up and couldnt move. only just got back. waiting on tests but she is okay. see you at 3 xox'_

"sheriden had to go to the doctors" i informed kendall of my news i had just recieved.

"really? she wasnt that bad, she had sobered up loads by the time i left her" he said

"james said she fell over last night and done something to her back, but he says she is fine so no need to worry"

"yeah she did fall down a ditch but she got up, she seemed fine..." kendall added.

"well he still wants me in the studio, did you wanna come with me?" i asked with my big puppy dog eyes.

kendall looked at me, i could see in his face he didnt want to go anywhere today  
"yeah okay...need to stop by mine to get dressed though" he replied.

i was pleasantly surprised.

after we went to kendalls we arrived at the studio, both of us had our sunglasses on, the light definately was neither of our friends today, and i looked forward to crawling back in to kendalls bed tonight.

sheriden sat at a small table that was positioned in the studio, she looked fine considering last nights antics, she had crutches sat by her chair though.  
i was surprised she even came along today.

she made embarrassed eye contact with kendall, she did look away but then a smile cracked across her face. kendall gave her a hug laughing.

"what are you like, you complete nutter!" he mocked her.

she laughed "oh dont make me laugh kendall my back is killing today, im so sorry... about your face".

james seemed in good spirits too, i expect a small amount of alcohol still remained enough in our systems to help us carry on our day jobs.

i was meant to be recording a song today, but james must of been a bit concerned that my voice wasnt up to scratch as he just worked with amberleigh going over one that i had recorded a few days before while i rehersed on a new one he had written.

after an hour or so we all took a quick break and sat down with sheriden and kendall at the tiny table.

a lot of last nights dramas came back in the topic of conversation, but it had seemed most had been sorted out.  
carlos had apologised to sheriden over the phone this morning for his outburst last night, she had also apologised to him, and reluctantly said she was willing to give jess a chance as long as she could curb her attitude.

i was also filled in on the information that carlos had hit logan last night, but because both were so drunk, all that really happened was they rolled on the floor a bit.

logan admitted to him that he had no idea jess had just come from carlos' tour bus when he bumped in to her... despite all this and the fact she supposidly tried it on with james the following morning, her and carlos were still dating now.

sheridens cell phone ringing temporarily stopped the flow of laughter of our very messy night.

everyone sat silent so she could take her call.

"hello...?"

"yes it is. "

"okay excellent"

"is that necessary today...?"

"okay"

"yep thats fine, thanks so much for calling"

"okay you too.."

"bye.."

we all looked at her.

"doctors?" james asked.

"yeah they want me to go back down asap. they have news" sheriden said, she sounded cheery at this information, i guess she was used to her back causing her problems and always welcomed a quick fix.

james looked at me "pais is it alright if we finish up early? sheriden cant drive like that"

"yeah course, thats fine" i agreed.

"well i dont mind driving sheriden, im only sat here..." kendall said offering a lift in his car.

james looked at sheriden and shrugged as if to say, up to you?

"yeah thats fine, i dont mind that. makes sense i guess" she said after thinking it through.

kendall stood up and picked his keys and his phone from off the table making eye contact with me as he put it in his pocket, he gave me a smile, and i winked at him.

james helped sheriden up and handed her the crutches, she really did look like she was in a lot of pain.

"cmon i will help you out" he said to her as he gently guided her with a loving hand on her back towards the door that kendall had opened.

"he is so perfect isnt he?" amberleigh said about james as we watched them walk out the studio doors, i just noticed kendall blow me a kiss goodbye.

i sighed "yeah he sure is" i agreed. but i wasnt meaning james maslow.


	27. Chapter 27

**SHERIDENS STORY**

kendall held the doors open for us as i made my way out of the studio, once out in to the fresh air i felt a bit sick. all that bloody tequila last night, my head was killing me, but with a ton of make up and a make shift smile on my face i think i had convinced everyone that i wasnt suffering as much as i really was.

kendall sat in his car waiting for me to say bye to james.

"take it easy okay sheri" he said

"i will babe dont worry. you still here til six?" i asked, hoping he would finish early.

he chuckled his deep infectious laugh "yes still here for 6 im afraid... its not your bed time yet" he laughed

i smiled at him, the make up and the grin hadn't fooled james at all, he knew i was feeling as rough as i should from all that drink last night.

"okay... well i will be back before that then. i will come back here" i said

again james laughed "no... get kendall to drop you off at home, he wont mind, good nights rest will have you better in no time"

he gave me a hug, albeit a gentle one so not to cause me any more pain, i hated using these bloody crutches. they had been in the cupboard for 4 months with out me needing them. the last time i had needed them was just for some really bad back ache from a period.

"i love you james" i said as he let go from his hug

"love you too sheri" he replied as he gave me a kiss on the lips then walked up to kendalls car and held the door open and helped me in. i caught some of his gorgeous scent as he moved. it made my heart ache.

"see you soon" he called as we drove off. i gave him a little wave and a wink.

"so... is this my fault?" kendall asked eyeing up the crutches.

i smiled. "no course its not... dont be daft"

"why did you get so drunk shoo? ive never seen you like that, you were crawling on the floor" he laughed.

i raised an eyebrow at him " coz of those stupid games, i drank the same as everyone else but im only little" i laughed. "how are you and paisley then? james said she was mega pissed off at us. i was surprised to see you at the studio today"

kendall raised his own eyebrow at me "we are... great actually, i went to the hotel at stupid oclock this morning and declared my love to her"

"oh my god...really?" i asked astonished.

"yep... its pretty amazing actually... she is amazing" he looked out to the road with a smile smacked across his face. it was a nice. i hadn't seen kendall look so much like kendall in a long time.

"well thats great kendall... honestly. its nice to see it all working out for us all huh" i said truthfully.

"yeah it is... you know you told me james wanted to marry you last night too?" he added.

"shit, yeah i did... sorry"

"no its fine... its great, you should say yes for once" kendall said.

"what? what do you mean for once? what has james said to you?..." i questioned kendall, he had the 'oh shit' face on him now.

"kendall tell me...?" i poked him with my finger.

kendall rolled his eyes at his own big mouthed cock up. "fuck sake...! james said he is gonna ask you to marry him at your party in bel air, he told me so i could make myself scarce if i didnt want to see it" he confessed.

i knew it... bloody james. i knew he would plan something like this. he is so devious.  
"so what did you say?" i asked kendall, i narrowed my eyes not sure what to expect.

"i said go for it and i will be there" he simply said.

"really?" i asked, kind of shocked.

"yeah really... so what are you going to say? yes or no?" kendall asked with a large grin on his face.

i looked at his face trying to make sure he wasnt bluffing to trick me in to saying my real feelings so he can start an arguement. i couldnt tell what he was thinking... damn you kendall.

i answered truthfully "im gonna say YES" i screamed, kendall laughed, that was a good sign. he wasnt bluffing then.

"i honestly love that man so much kendall, truth be told i said no to him before cause i didnt want to hurt you"

kendall pulled in to the private clinic and parked up "everything is fine now. its time we all moved on" he said.

i smiled. "you alright to help me in?" i asked

"yeah sure" he replied.

kendall helped me out of the car, and in to the clinic holding doors as he went, i noticed the bruise on his face had calmed down slightly from what i vaguely remember it looked like last night.

i was told to wait in the doctors office, kendall accompanied me. its nothing he hasnt heard before, me and my back problems are a package deal unfortunatly. so any boyfriend ive ever had since that ski slope accident is fully aware of the shit i endure because of it.

doctor arnold robyns walked in, he had been my personal spinal doctor since my first operation. he had celebrated many highs and lows with me as i got back on my feet in the first few months after the accident.

"sheriden.. thanks you for coming back down here today, i do appreciae it" doc robyns said with a smile.

"thats fine arnold, i take it you have found out whats causing the pain?" i hoped to god i hadnt caused enough damage to need another operation.

"yes" doctor robyns said as he pulled out some xrays. one i had already seen today. he pinned them up on the light board.

kendall looked at me from his seat sat next to me and smiled, i smiled back.

"right sheriden the xray on the right is from today and the one on the left is from a month after your final operation, 4 years ago almost"

i nodded.

"if you look at the left you can see the vertebrae looks solid where as the right it has eroded considerably"

i nodded again as the doctor wiggled his pen pointing out what he was seeing on the xrays.

"your telling me i caused that much damage falling down a ditch?" i asked confused.

"no what your feeling now is just where the vertebrae have collided together in the fall. its just swelling at the moment causing the pain, what this is sheriden" he wiggled his pen at the right hand xray "is what i have noticed today, unfortunatly the latest xray you have had has confirmed that you have osteoporosis, which is a weakness in you bone density. it makes fractures easier to happen basically"

"ok so this osteo... thing, how can we get rid of it?" i asked

"well unfortunatly sheriden its not as easy as that, i mean in a normal person i would recommend healthy eating and regular excersise to help maintain strong bones but...well because of your spine, and the fact your normal physio wont really alter the strength of you bones in your back there isnt much we can do"

i looked at kendall... i was having a hard time understanding what i was being told.

"um... so what? she is going to be in this pain for ever... cant you just give her meds for that?" kendall asked.

the doctor looked at kendall "if you imagine sheridens spine as a pyramid, and over the years the base of the pyramid slowly erodes away, the bottom parts of the pyramid will slowly break as the weight of the top bears down on it... do you see what im saying?" the doctor concluded.

"so her back is just slowly getting worse?" kendall summed up the doctors in depth anology.

the doctor turned back to me  
"im afraid so yes, i mean the pain you have now should subside, but in the future i would seriously recommend no drink and drugs and a very healthy diet... i know from your current weight you are still under, but anything much greater than what you are in later life could possibly send you in to a wheel chair sheriden.

kendall smiled "so you cant get fat shoo in other words" he said eyes smiling at me.

the doctor continued. you will have to take great care as to not fall, dont let it take over your life but act with caution when you can" the doctor finished and sat in his chair.

"so this osteoporosis thing i have... is caused from my skiing accident?" i asked still not quite getting what was actually being explained to me.

"no, it has absolutly nothing to do with the spinal injury itself... mainly osteoporosis is found in the older generation, usually after a lifetime of bad diet and smoking and drinking for example." he clarified.

"so basically ive caused my own bones to do this from the shit lifestyle that i had?" i felt pissed off, i also felt kendalls hand slip in to mine. he squeezed it.

the doctor ignored my temper " sheriden you can lead a perfectly normal life for now, you will have to make minimum changes to your lifestyle and increase your physiotherapy. you just need to remain healthy, that in its self can pro long the life of your bones" he sounded optimistic. "there is no reason that you cant go on leading the same life as you have now for many years, you just have to go easy on your body, any trauma to you back could easily cause it to re break and there wouldnt be much chance of it being fixed after that seeing as your mostly rods and pins in there anyway"

"so trauma as in a fall basically, so she was lucky this time?" kendall said shaking his head at me like i was an idiot.

"yes any trauma, sheriden your 30 now? is that right?" the doctor asked looking at notes.  
i nodded as my reply.

"what about having a baby?" i asked "what risks does that carry?"

i felt kendall squeeze my hand again.

"i would not recommend having any children sheriden... i am sorry. a natural birth would have to be completly ruled out, and i doubt your body would accomodate pregnancy to a reasonable length of time for a successfull delivery by c section"

i felt a lump in my throat, i didnt want to cry in front of the doctor, i stayed silent and tried to compose my self inhaling deep breaths.

"um, if she did get pregnant... what is the likely drill... of things to come" kendall asked for me, knowing full well how much i needed a child in my life, maybe not now but someday, i was going to marry james. everything was meant to be perfect.

"if she decided to go ahead with a pregnancy then i fear it would put both mother and childs life at risk, if the pregnancy could hold out to term then i would very much doubt sheridens back could... it may sever the spinal cord"

kendall rubbed his face with his free hand. he looked at me, i looked at him. i was in total shock. once again my life had been wrecked in the blink of an eye.

"sheriden im going to recommend you see a specialist counsellor, it says on your notes that you are currently due to see one in the light of your recent personal problems, but i would strongly recommend talking to a proffessional spinal doctor that can talk you through about any disabilities that may arise"

"disabilities that may arise?" kendall said

"its purely as a precautionary measure to explain to sheriden what later life may hold" the doctor said.

"but she wont ends up disabled will she?" kendall asked, sounding a bit pissed off with this news himself now.

"if she leads a healthy life then she should be fine, obviously in old age no one can say what may or may not happen until we get there"

i tried to stand up. i had heard enough now. kendall helped me to my feet.

"thank you" i said to arnold robyns as i hobbled my way out of his office. kendall took a piece of paper from him, i presumed was a prescription for my pain.  
we made our way back to kendalls car

as we sat in the car i just stared in to space.

"sheriden... what just happened in there... i mean its all going to be fine still, you just cant do anymore stupid shit" kendall said.

"yeah... yeah i know" i replied.

"come here..." kendall said and pulled himself over to me for a hug, i burst in to tears but i didnt say anything and nor did kendall, he just held me.

"you want to go home shoo?" he finally whispered, cupping my face in his hands.

"yeah"

as we drove back in silence i thought of nothing but james. how was it fair that the stupid mistakes i had made in my life should affect him so badly. he didnt sign up to look after some disabled idiot, he wants a runway model. he deserves a runway model, or atleast anyone that isnt going to drag him down.  
i can imagine him now as i tell him the news of whats just happened. he will say something loving that will take some of the hurt away.  
but i know... i know him inside out, we have talked about our life together, doing things in a life time of happiness, having a million kids... well that wasnt going to happen now, not even close, not even one.

and that mansion... shit almost $9million on a house that will only ever have the two of us in it.

how can i ever be that selfish to condemn the man i love so much to a life he doesnt want. am i that selfish? probably!

"kendall can you do a favour for me and just pop in my house quick, i need some things from my room" i asked

"yeah course, you got the keys?" he asked with a smile, and again i tapped my little shoulder bag that was slung over my head.

we pulled in to my gated property, i opened the gates myself this time with the fob from my keys, kendall pulled up just outside th door.

i looked up at the house, it was beautiful but i still couldnt do it. i handed kendall the keys " would you mind grabbing a bag thats in my room, its in the large closet, its pink and black" i asked.

kendall smiled at me, grabbed the keys and left me alone in the car to grab my overnight bag, he emerged again after just a few moments.

he chucked the bag in the back of his car and drove to james' house.

as he walked me in the bungalow, he chucked the bag on the sofa and gave me a hug "you gonna be okay? i dont mind staying with you shoo" he said as he held me.

i took in every moment, every smell from kendall, every memory i could master up, and i locked them away in my heart.

"i will be fine" i said not doing a very good job at holding my tears back, a couple fell down my face which kendall wiped away with his thumb

he kissed my forehead "you alright getting to bed?" he asked

i smiled at his sillyness "there are no stairs" i replied.

kendall smiled back and if i wasnt mistaken i saw his eyes fill up.

"get some rest" he ordered "everything will be fine, we all love you" he whispered and left with a smile and a squeeze of my hand.

i sat myself on the sofa next to the pink and black overnight bag.

i loved james so much, i couldnt do this to him.

* * *

_only one more chapter left to go, then a third story will emerge soon enough. which im hoping logan will appear in more. his character makes me laugh. thanks for reading xxx treehatsrock xxx_


	28. Chapter 28

**paisleys story**

i could not stop yawning. i was absolutly shattered. james had said to amberleigh to go home, i was just waiting for kendall to show up. today was a bit of a wash out. no work really got done after sheriden and kendall had left for the clinic, both james and i just couldnt be bothered to move once we had sat down.

i saw kendalls car pull up,

"he's here james, i will see you monday okay" i called from the window that i had spent the last few minutes staring out of.

"yeah sure pais... enjoy your day off" he winked at me with a brilliant smile as i left the studio. it made me feel slightly uncomfy that everyone knew i was having sex with kendall, but i guess this is what happens when we all hang out together. something i will have to get used to.

i got in the car "hey, all okay" i asked with a kiss.

"yeah... how come your out so early?" kendall replied.

"just tired, james wasnt really feeling it, nor was i... there is always monday so dont moan" i joked.  
kendall gave a small smile. but he was no where near as happy as i had left him.

"kendall whats happened now?" i asked as he drove off, he was looking at james get in to his car, i gave him a little wave as we drove passed.

"sheriden got some bad news at the doctors" he announced

"really... what kind of bad news?" i asked concerned, she did look in a lot of pain.

"she has some deficiency in her bones, her back is basically falling apart. the doctor warned of wheel chairs and disability. he said she shouldnt have children... ever"

"jesus... poor sheriden" i said. i remembered her holding little mia at the party yesterday. her and james looked so natural to have kids.

"thats gonna come as a blow for them ay... they could always adopt i guess?" i said on a brighter note.

kendall raised his eyebrows in agreement, he hadnt thought of that idea. it seemed to cheer him up slightly.

we got back to kendalls and enjoyed a very romantic yet naughty bath together, im surprised water didnt flood down through the ceiling, we had eventually used 6 towels in the end trying to soak up the mess we made. but it was worth it.

i got changed in to my pj's and wrapped myself in my dressing robe. perfect hangover cure wear and kendall just strutted around in some shorts. i could get used to him not wearing a shirt. i loved him so much. he was sex on legs.

we had ordered an indian take away. i was starving, i hadnt eaten all day because we got up so late, i snuggled up with kendall on th sofa watching him play a game on his playstation.

the door knocked.

"food time!" kendall declared as he shot off the sofa and headed to the door.

i walked out to the little white kitchen to get our plates ready.

kendall came in the kitchen empty handed but behind him followed a very red eyed james. he looked awful.

"shit... james. are you okay?" i asked

he didnt say anything he just pulled himself up on to the kitchen side and sat down. he handed kendall a letter.

kendall read the letter. after a few moments he shook his head  
"no... she doesnt mean any of that... i was with her... FUCK!" he shouted.

"she's gone" james said looking at my bewildered face as kendall lost control.

i took the letter and read it

_'james,  
where do i start with this huh? well today i found out that my back has let me down once again. but its not only me its going to affect. i cant have your life ruined because of stupid crap ive done in mine.  
James never forget how much i love you. this is the reason why i have to do this. there is no future for you in my life. at least not a good one. dont think im just being typical sheriden and jumping off at the deep end. im actually using my brain for once and not thinking of myself.  
im thinking of you.  
i was told today that i cant have children without major complications, i was also told today that my back is likely to disable me. you dont deserve to have to live with these things.  
when i first met you james, you struck me as a person that was going to go so far in the life you had planned out. promise me you will still strive to get where you want to be. if i stay then your life would of made a drastic U turn at such a young age.  
i dont want that on my concience. i have got my passport and im finally being a grown up and getting on a plane with no fear. the only fear i had left in life was losing you, but now im letting you go.  
im not going to come back james, i love you too much to do that.  
make me proud baby.  
sheri xxx'_

"so where is she? at the airport, lets go and get her" i said

"she isnt there i have called,looked and begged people to help me. she has just disapeared off the face of the earth, carlos hasn't heard, his family hasn't heard. i was hoping you might know something" james looked at kendall, who now was also struggling to keep tears in.

kendall laughed hysterically, almost insanely. it scared me "i handed it to her didnt i?... the fucking passport. it was in that bag. she asked me to get a bag, and i fucking handed it to her...JESUS!"

"kendall its not your fault" james said. his voice had no emotion left. he was just a talking shell of himself. "she was going to go no matter what"

"james what are you going to do?" i asked.

"going home to bed" he simply replied. then he walked out the kitchen and through the front door.

i looked at kendall, and he looked at me back. he just let his tears run while i took him in my arms.

* * *

3 months had passed since the day james came to kendalls house, no one had heard from sheriden. i have no idea how she had done it but she truly had disapeard off the face of the earth. from where ever she was she had organised her model management to be taken over by another company. they wouldnt tell james anything of where sheridens contact had come from.

she had also signed over her half of the record label to james. the day that came to light was awful. james was in bits. the comapany had begun all those months ago as MSL RECORDS, shortly after kendall, left it changed to MASLOW/LLOYD RECORDS. now it was just JM RECORDS for james maslow... he finally got his dream but it had come at a terrible price for him to own his own label.

the last thing that i heard that had cut sheridens life from james was the bel air mansion, instead of putting it back up for sale, sheriden, who's money had bought the $9million house had given it to james. she had sent him all manner of legal papers just allowing him to own it. her own home had been emptied and sold within the first few weeks of it being on the market after she had left.

kendall had told me that james wouldnt go near the bel air mansion. instead he had rented it out to some rich Australian family. all the money he made from it he put in to the Sheriden Lloyd Foundation. it was so typically a james thing to do  
i dont think james wanted to sell it, i think he secretly hoped that sheriden would come back, but i think we all knew she wasnt.

james had threw him self in to his music. he made me work like a trojan. i had my debut album out just 4 weeks after sheriden had first gone missing. it made top the dance track single i had released was the anthem that ended the summer, it was a massive european hit.  
i was even welcomed to support big time rush on a european tour.

the BTR guys had all re signed on the dotted line for another year under contract of columbia records, and had signed up for another series for the show.  
after the news had emerged that james was now single again it caused a massive media stir. but where ever sheriden had gone, not one picture appeared of her in the paper. no one knew where she was. if it wasnt for the flurry of activity of houses selling and her business being taken over then we would of all thought she was dead.

a lot had changed since she had gone. jess was ring leader now, even though the only people that could stand being in the same room as her were carlos and logan.

we were currently in czech republic. the guys had a huge fan base now all over the world.  
seeing as i was on the same tour i tagged along with the guys. not officially meant to be staying on the tour bus with them, but they guys didnt mind and i loved being with kendall all the time. so what the big boss men didnt know... wouldnt hurt them.

as we travelled, life on the road was fun. we currently headed towards Prague. i woke up squashed in the little top cabin bed next to kendall. the bed was so uncomfortable but i didnt care as long as i was with him.

i had no clue as to how Logan had sex each night in one of these. there was barely enough room to stretch your legs out.

a small shuffle about had taken place at the start of the tour. kendall who had previously shared with logan and dustin was now on one of the buses with james and logan. leaving carlos dustin and shawn on the other bus

it worked out well because if jess ever made a surprise visit she was safely hidden away on a different vehicle and james could carry on mentoring me. he was also just about to sign another group to his label. i barely saw him take a break ever, he occupied his mind as much as he could.

as i layed up in the little bunk bed i kissed kendalls shoulder. i desperatly needed a wee so i climbed down from the bunk and stretched my legs down on to the floor of the bus, i had one of kendall tee shirts on as a nighty.  
it was still dark outside but i had no clue as to what the time was. very early i should imagine, maybe 3?

i noticed james wasnt in the bottom bunk, he was sat on one of the large cushioned seats that ran along the side of the bus, he had pen and paper in hand. glasses on and working away at something, i smiled at him as he looked up. he gave a small smile back.

i walked up the opposite end of the bus and used the toilet, i came out and thought i would try my luck at chatting to james. i dont think anyone had chatted about anything but work related things to him in a long while. he would still mess about with nerf guns and shit but you could always tell he wasnt entirely there. his head was always somewhere else. somehwere with sheriden i expect.

"hey... what time is it?" i whispered to james, trying not to wake up kendall and logan.

he checked his phone which was sat by the side of him "just gone 4 pais" he answered with a soft voice.

i nodded. "so what are you working on at 4 in the morning then?" i asked eyeing up the paper he held on a clipboard in his hand.

james smiled at me "a song" he replied.

"do you mind if i see it it?" i asked sitting down next to him.

he shrugged his shoulders and passed me the clip board.

from what i could tell it was just a chorus that had worked its way from pen to paper but it was good.

"is this for your new band?" i asked him.

"no i was hoping you would want it. its a girls song" he answered.

i smiled at him and the bus filled with quietness, only the noise from the engine could be heard.

"james... how are you?... its been so long now" i asked watching as james made some odd faces with his mouth as if thinking of something he could say.

he lifted his glasses up on to the top of his head and rubbed his eyes.

"not great you know pais... do you think she will come back?" he asked his eyes filled with hope that i might shed some optimistic light on to the subject.

"i really dont know honey... im sorry" i patted his leg "she believed she was doing the right thing at the time. did she really want a baby that bad then?" i asked, worried i may of overstepped my mark.

james huffed out a small smile "ya she desperately wanted a baby. ever since the miscarriage. makes so much sense now, all the pain she had been in at the time"

"what about you... do you think she has done the right thing by leaving?" i asked

"she... sheri knew that i wanted kids, we talked about our future all the time. but if this is the choice... sheriden without a family or no sheriden at all... i would of chosen sheriden... just wish she had of given me the choice you know. she took that from me" james voice held some resentment in it.

"i said to kendall when he first told me about it all, that maybe you guys could adopt. maybe sheriden hasnt thought that far ahead yet... you never know?" i offered in a way to offer some hope.

james just shook his head "who in there right mind would let her adopt a baby, she has a history of class A drug use as long as her arm. they would laugh at us... she knew that" he said calmly.

"yeah... course she does" i felt ridiculous now bringing it up.

"12 weeks with out her pais'... its killing me. i dont know what im meant to do?" he whispered.

"well do what she asked. make her proud james... live your life. no matter how much moping about you do its not going to make her come back any quicker... thats if she does come back. you need to just get back to being you james"

james took in a deep breath and sighed it back out. "i dont think she is coming back you know. i just wish i could talk to her one more time. it pisses me off so bad that she didnt give me the choice... it was our life not just hers"

i gave james a hug, "james your 22. dont waste the most incredible times of this amazing life you have. sheriden went so she didnt hold you back. and knowing sheriden i think she really meant that" i could see my words had hurt james but he nodded to agree.

"you know i felt for sure i would of had a letter or a note or... something for my birthday last week from her. all day i waited. had my phone in my hand the whole time... but nothing. i knew then that that was it... she meant it" james said as he looked up to the roof of the bus.

i squeezed james hand not knowing what to say.

"i wonder where she is?" he said leaning his head on my shoulder.

"i have no idea, but knowing sheriden i expect she is causing a stir wherever she has got to" i smiled at my own words and so did james. he even let out a small chuckle imagining what chaos sheriden was causing some one some where in the world.

"come on james... get some sleep, we have a crazy few days coming up" i said standing up.

he nodded and stood up too just as a ladies leg slipped down from logans bed.  
logan had brought on board a girl that spoke zero English last night. it was a truly entertaining sight to watch.

james looked at me and smiled "maybe its time i did get back to myself" james said as he trotted him self back to his bottom bunk.

i shook my head with a smile and climbed back in to bed with kendall... that was not what i meant for james to go back to his days shagging girls like logan.

i snuggled up in kendalls tiny bed, wrapping my cold arms around him trying to warm up.  
kendall woke up briefly enough to give me a little kiss and pull me in to his body

"love you pais" he mumbled

i smiled at him and drifted off to sleep.

**THE END**

* * *

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